To keep using reins even though DH is against it

[Suntrapped]

For background I'm a SAHM.

DD seems more excitable/hyperactive than other toddlers her age. Eg she always runs instead of walking and runs off. In parks she is the one racing round the perimeter or trying to climb over the fence, while my friends' toddlers potter happily nearby.

I use reins as I'm terrified she'll run into the road or out of sight. She doesn't come back when called. Only time she's off reins is the park, at child-friendly places like farms or if DH and I are both with her. Recently he insisted we start letting her off reins so she gets used to it. Yet she won't hold hands for long. She ran off in the street (pedestrian zone luckily) and tripped up a lady before DH could catch her (not the first time she's tripped people up as she darts in front of their feet.

DH thinks it's bad for her self esteem and development to be on reins 'like a dog' and she needs to learn to behave without them. He thinks she's too old for them.

What do you think? Please be honest

[MissMarpleSparkles]

I found them secure. The rein attaches to the hook at the back though, so unlike two reins attached over each shoulder they pull at the upper back area which can make things go a little off centre. But DS hated regular reins with a passion, and this slipped past his consciousness as 'reins' so it worked perfectly well for us.

[DailyFailAreCunts]

MrsOverTheRoad MrsPresley is the lady whose little boy died.

[Anotherdayanotherdollar]

Almost 2?? So she's 1 then. Use the reins!! She's only a baby. I thought you were going to say she was 3 or 4!

[DrSeuss]

My son would have been killed on two separate occasions without reins.
As he got older, we found the very short strap on he wins a bit limiting so bought a dog lead (yes, really!) to clip on and give him a bit more freedom within safe limits. People probably thought we were crazy. They presumably have never experienced their child nearly running under a lorry or nearly chucking themselves of a ferry on Lake Garda!

[Gaggleofgirls]

I agree with WeAllHaveWings.

Holding hands is non negotiable. My friends all used reins and now they're older and off the reins the kids walk miles ahead/behind or run off down the road. The reins taught them nothing about road safety or having to stay by their parents.

I've had one biddable and one bolter. Don't get me wrong it is still a hard slog with my little bolter but the tantrums are less now she understands we don't move until she walks properly. (She's under 2 but does have good understanding for her age).

I can't stand reins but will agree that if you're concerned put them on as a back up in case the child slips your grip. That way teaching the child to hold hands and not get used to free walking, but having a back up.

[Groupie123]

There is an alternative to reins for exciteable toddlers - you can carry them/hold their hands. Shock shock horror right

[WellThatSucks]

Self-esteem issues in a less than 2yr old? FFS someone stop the fucking madness. Some children need reins others don't, I had one of each, the one who needed them had no self-esteem issues as a child nor does he now as a grown man. Your DD needs reins. Tell your DH he can take the risk when he's solely in charge of your DD but when you're with her you'll be using reins.

[pinkunicornsarefluffy]

DD was on reins until she was over 3yo as she would always run off and wouldn't stay safe. YANBU and your DH is BU. DD was still running off when she was 4, and her preschool teacher had a chat with her about it which seemed to help.

[hackmum]

My DD was like yours, OP - always running away. They have no sense st that age. So I used reins where practical. She's now 18 and I don't think it has harmed her. She certainly doesn't remember it!

[HildaOg]

Groupie; you've obviously never had a mini houdini meets usain bolt. Reins are unnecessary for most kids but for some they're an essential part of keeping them in one piece.

[MoominFlaps]

Groupie my 16mo goes ballistic if I carry him - he wants to walk. He will not hold my hand for love nor money either.

[CommonSenseIsNotAllThatCommon]

Reins are perfectly fine for toddlers.

Whatever gets the parents and child through the day relatively unscathed is fine.

[PoorYorick]

you can carry them/hold their hands.

I find it's very easy for them to slip my hand (perhaps I'm sweaty), plus it's very difficult having only one hand free. My reins fix around my wrist.

[LucyFuckingPevensie]

I always think of Mrs Presley too.
I used reigns for my dts well beyond the age of 2, they stopped using them by 3, they don't use them now. They learnt to listen, they learnt to be safe, they learnt to stop. They didn't do any of that at 2 though. we used the little life backpacks, they're fantastic.

[LucyFuckingPevensie]

Ah, nice sarcy comment groupie, you do know that there's an alternative to being a cunt.....shock horror right ?

[youaredeluded]

I hate reins and always silently judge those that use them. Children are not animals! How will they learn if you are just pulling them around like a puppy on a lead. I also have high energy children, also they are close in age, so I know how hard work it can be to teach them to stay safe. But It is just lazy parenting in my opinion to use reins... you need to be more aware and be prepared to teach your child. Reins are so lazy just like people who have 3/4/5 year olds in buggies.

[LucyFuckingPevensie]

Oh look, the goady fuckers are here.

[lilyborderterrier]

Ignore him,you know what your lo is like. Maybe try a back pack with a lead, that's what I used and they're great, the lead can be taken off and they can carry their own snacks, toys etc. I'm a childminder and they're great, a good alternative to reins.

[TheSeaTheSkyTheSeaTheSkyyyyyy]

I hate seatbelts and always silently judge those that use them. Children are not crazy people! How will they learn if you are just strapping them in like a madman on a hospital bed? I also have high energy children, also they are close in age, so I know how hard work it can be to teach them to stay safe. But It is just lazy parenting in my opinion to use a seatbelt... you need to be more aware and be prepared to teach your child. Seatbelts are so lazy just like people who have 3/4/5 year olds in buggies.