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AIBU?

To keep using reins even though DH is against it

297 replies

Suntrapped · 25/06/2017 12:55

For background I'm a SAHM.

DD seems more excitable/hyperactive than other toddlers her age. Eg she always runs instead of walking and runs off. In parks she is the one racing round the perimeter or trying to climb over the fence, while my friends' toddlers potter happily nearby.

I use reins as I'm terrified she'll run into the road or out of sight. She doesn't come back when called. Only time she's off reins is the park, at child-friendly places like farms or if DH and I are both with her. Recently he insisted we start letting her off reins so she gets used to it. Yet she won't hold hands for long. She ran off in the street (pedestrian zone luckily) and tripped up a lady before DH could catch her (not the first time she's tripped people up as she darts in front of their feet.

DH thinks it's bad for her self esteem and development to be on reins 'like a dog' and she needs to learn to behave without them. He thinks she's too old for them.

What do you think? Please be honest

OP posts:
Screwinthetuna · 26/06/2017 21:57

Of ^

GreenTulips · 26/06/2017 21:57

I see more older kids in push chairs than reigns and yes it's because it's more parent friendly to be that way - I mean who has time to teach their child how to walk near roads?

We used to walk to school and the shops in reins - kids never went anywhere in a pushchair after 18 months - years ago another child would've taken the pram and the toddlers walked ...

KC225 · 26/06/2017 22:02

I had twins, both bolters in the opposite directions, my life would have been miserable without the backpack reins.

The people who are preaching about 'holding a child's hand and tell them not to run away' is so funny. WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THOSE KIND OF CHILDREN.

LiveLongAndProspero · 26/06/2017 22:02

Here's a thought Screw, other people are not you and don't do the same things as you. So how about you do you, and leave other people to their own choices?

Screwinthetuna · 26/06/2017 22:05

What's your problem, livelong? I couldn't care less who uses reins for their kids, I was offering the op some kind of medium for her husband so the child is safe. You have major chip on your shoulder.

LiveLongAndProspero · 26/06/2017 22:07

You don't seem to understand how conversation works or what the actually topic of this one is. Perhaps you could read the thread, then come back once you;ve worked out what is actually going on?

witsender · 26/06/2017 22:10

Have you read any of the other pages on here though? Your comment has been done to death! Pushchairs actually allow a lot less freedom than reins, so why are they such a great option?

And as for assuming that everyone goes to the same places as you...๐Ÿ˜‚ What if people don't have a car? Or walk into town? Or to friends? Or the shops? I used to stroll into town with baby in a wrap and toddler holding my hand, with reins around my wrist. I would then take a shopping trolley thing and I could do a full weekly shop without needing to take the car. A pushchair would have been a right pain in the arse.

Screwinthetuna · 26/06/2017 22:11

I responded to the original post, which is what I wrote in my reply to the thread. No, I don't intend on reading a 12 page thread about using reins, obviously. You are very overinvested, how strange.

LiveLongAndProspero · 26/06/2017 22:11

No, I don't intend on reading a 12 page thread about using reins, obviously

Then don't post on it.

NataliaOsipova · 26/06/2017 22:21

I love how reins are belittling but strapping them into a chair and pushing them around on wheels teaches them dignity and independence confused

My thoughts exactly. Surely reins allow a child to have a little more independence than he would normally have - i.e. when too young to walk independently? Surely it's like learning to drive - you have L plates and possibly dual controls in the car, so the instructor can step in if there's about to be an accident? Your child has reins so he can walk on his own, like an older child.....but you can hold on to him if necessary. The backpacks are a nice compromise; fun for the child and you can put the strap round your wrist and still hold your child's hand.

Screwinthetuna · 26/06/2017 22:22

livelong There aren't any rules about that, livelong The subject is using reins, not a sensitive topic. If you must know, I was killing some time waiting for the washing to finish before bed...of course I didn't read all 12 pages of answers on the pros and cons of bloody rein usage, I'm not a sad bastard. Jesus wept, these forums are meant to be helpful, not full of angry people desperate for petty arguments. I suggest you go to bed, 'rein' your anger in a little ๐Ÿ˜‚

AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 26/06/2017 22:24

If you post on a thread without reading it you can look very silly, as if you haven't understood what is being talked about.
No rules, no, but that is how you look.

TDHManchester · 26/06/2017 22:37

YANBU here,, only today i was driving along a busy A road . I was working. It must have been school chucking out time. Ahead i saw a young woman apparently with a young child following her. As i got nearer i could see the child was dawdling behind about 5ft and walking along the kerb/gutter,,her mother seemingly oblivious. I had to take avoiding action in case i clipped her. Only when the whoosh of my vhicle passing alerted her did the mother turn and call her on.

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/06/2017 23:00

@Screwinthetuna it's the forum version of hearing one comment on the way into a conversation and immediately launching into your thoughts. It's rude and presumptuous. But by all means jump in and don't RTFT if you think manners make you a sad bastard.

BlackeyedSusan · 26/06/2017 23:19

maybe the toddler that ended up in the middle of the road in front of my car should have been on reins. Thank God I was going slower than normal that day and slowed down when there was a crowd at the edge of the apavement otherwise some other poor kid would have been in hospital or worse.

PoorYorick · 27/06/2017 07:07

If you read the other boards, they're full of people who have been damaged by bad, neglectful or abusive parents. Never seen anyone scarred by having been on reins as a toddler.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/06/2017 07:39

Exactly blackeye, my friend used to be this mentality, reins are for dogs, buggies restrict them, her young son used to run in the road and all over the place when out with her.

TheDogAteMyGoatskinVellum · 27/06/2017 07:53

Of course you should continue to use them. It's shitty parenting not to, when you've a child of that temperament and at that stage. Your DH is BU.

TheSeaTheSkyTheSeaTheSkyyyyyy · 27/06/2017 17:49

I bought a buggy and it was probably the biggest waste of money of all the baby stuff we bought. I used it once or twice. Always found it too much effort getting it in and out of the car, manoeuvring around streets/shops/wherever, etc. I preferred carrying/putting him in a sling when he was a baby, and then when he was old enough to walk, we switched to a back-and-forth mixture of him walking and being carried.

SpiritedLondon · 27/06/2017 19:13

I think before I had the DD I would have disliked the idea of reins... I'm not sure why, perhaps because they seemed old fashioned to me. Then I had DD and as soon as she could walk she wanted to be walking. I can remember the huge battle trying to get her in the pushchair in the middle of WH Smiths. Ultimately it led to a more peaceful life to let her walk. We used the Little Life backpack with the strap and used it as a back up to hand holding or holding the pushchair. ( handy for carrying shopping ).i would say they are not a replacement for good road safety awareness and training but they provide a useful safety net. One which I was happy to employ. My DD used to enjoy wearing it as she could carry a snack or toy in her own backpack. Ultimately do what you think is right. And as someone who has read the whole thread I have been unable to find a convincing argument against them.

Iamastonished · 28/06/2017 07:13

"The people who are preaching about 'holding a child's hand and tell them not to run away' is so funny. WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THOSE KIND OF CHILDREN."

This^^ exactly. These posters do have those kind of children, and can't imagine what it is like to have children who won't do as they are told.

GreenTulips · 28/06/2017 07:48

I agree - Eldest would hold hands and walk nicely
Next twins who would walk nicely but often one walked in front the other behind

Reins gave me peace of mind knowing they weren't far away and safe

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