My DS decided at 18 months he was never getting in the buggy again. He screamed blue murder and did the old banana trick/disappearing armpits gag and it was over. Bloody bugaboo was a waste of money.
I had a really difficult choice to make with reins. I'm disabled. Now a wheelchair user, but at that point I was still walking, with increasing pain and a diagnosis of a lifelong progressive condition.
I knew I would not be able to chase after DS if he ran very fast (and he already was) or if he got far I would be screwed. I considered reins and without any judgement of other people's choices, I chose not to. I read up on different behaviours that I would need to install early on if I was going to continue to be independent and parent him without someone else's supervision.
For me: my behaviours teach my child how to behave. Genuine fear in my voice and face should give my child the right social queues, but you can't put them in danger to do it. With reins, you lose the fear in yourself. I'm not saying a parent becomes complacent. If a child runs toward the road they either get a half scream/screech about danger whilst being hugged and told off all at the same time; or a tug on the reins, feeling of pressure on the chest or pulling of wrist with a firm NO! It's a different experience and I didn't have time on my side.
DH and I actually took him for weekend walks on canal towpaths, no holding hands but a helicopter parent front and back. He had had swimming lessons and was comfortable 'falling' in to water and we felt it was safe. He stayed on the path, sometimes went to close to the edge, always got praise and sometimes told off with the genuine fear/cuddle thing.
DS is 5 now and I use a wheelchair. He can't hold my hand or hold on for his own safety. Powerchairs are heavy and can break toes. He walks sensibly at the side or infront where I can see. He has to be more conscious of road safety than his friends, and he is. He's as impulsive as any 5 yr old, just not on the street near traffic.
Everyone needs to make the right choice for them. I was heavily criticised at the time for not using reins. Several were bought for me or just left lying round, in my house. I knew I couldn't run as fast as the next mum, but also knew my future prognosis.
I would urge mums to support each other for the choices they make. The fastest running mum I know doesn't use reins. Her 4 yr old has ADHD and she chooses to run to him each time he is in danger. She's on it. We all need to do what we think is right for our child.