To have corrected this child when his mother didn't.

[Designerenvy]

Background, we were at birthday party for a 6 year old. There were anout 16 kids at it ... 4 mum's present to supervise.

One boy was rude all day and just causing havoc.
He was upsetting all the kids , calling them names and using really bad language. The mum was there and just laughed everything off, didn't once correct him.
I ignored him and his mum as much as I could until he pushed another boy off a trampoline and the other boy was screaming in pain. Tg no damage done...no head injury or broken bones....but I'd say a good bit of bruising.
At which stage I brought the boy back to his mum and asked her to deal with him as he had injured other child ( who's mum wasn't there). She just laughed it off at which stage I explained to her ds how dangerous it was and that the other boy could have been very badly hurt. cos she wasnt about to explain it to him!
I asked him to apologise and he downright refused.
I went back to injured boy and the mum said the injured boy had started the argument at which point I said that her ds still shouldn't have done what he did. The mum said it was none of my business but I felt there was no one there to stick up for the injured boy as his mum was not present.
Did I overstep the mark ?
By the way I know for a fact this boy has no special needs etc as I know the background well.... if he did, I would of course have handled it differently. I was more annoyed with the mum than the boy tbh!

YWNBU- What a pair of shits! No wonder the boys behaviour is bad with a mother who laughs it off. I would have been livid!

I actually feel quite sorry for the child. His mother is really, really failing him. Being angry that the OP stepped up to do what she won't is the icing on that cake, really.

I know a child like this since toddler group with a similar mother 10 years on he was expelled from school because of his behaviour

you were Definitely not unreasonable, and correct and right in every way to discipline the boy. Very surprised the mother was so nonchalant about her DS unruly behaviour. Very bad form

Pat on the back to you op he needs to learn if his mum won't do it then it's great that had the balls to tell him

I encountered a similar situation when my daughter was little: a classmate was bullying her (can't remember the exact details) and I felt that her Mum should deal with her so I went to get her (she was just round the corner so didn't see what happened). When I explained her answer was simply .'well, I've known X (my daughter) to do the same' - in this instance it was HER daughter's behaviour which needed correcting (when mine misbehaved I always corrected her while acknowledging she may not have 'started it). So in the end I spoke to the other child myself. So OP I think you did the right thing.

This was about 8 years ago and they were in the same class till last summer (we moved to a new area).

I taught her to play with this child when she was kind and friendly and to walk away when she was unkind or bullying.

Definitely you did the right thing. Too often a blind eye is turned to such behaviour. On a safety point there shouldn't have been more than one on the trampoline. Does no-one heed the safety warnings? Has been a potential court case when child was injured and safety recommendations were ignored. Also, permission to use equipment had not been sought. Settled out of court. People have to waken up to the fact trampolines are dangerous.

My son has adhd he's not a 'naughty' child though just impulsive and hyperactive but sometimes does have outbursts. If he behaved like that though he's have got told off, or I would've gone home!

Bad parenting is so sad as it is the child who suffers in the long run.

Also think there's a difference between trying to show your child 'right' & 'wrong' & completely ignoring it altogether. You are a parent not a friend. And there's a difference between those who supervise closely and stay 'stop don't do that!' & those who ignore it xx

I would have told his mum to take him home a lot sooner, when he started using bad language and his mum did nothing to stop him.

YWNBU. think you did the right thing.
On another note : don't get frustrated with the careless mum - for her negligence the fruits are still to come. Watch for fun one of the series of "The world's strictest parents " and you will see how those "sweet" cheeky brats turn into horrible teenagers, and then their parents start to cry.themselves .. and to seek help from other parents who have done their homework. I am sure the mum in question will have the opportunity to learn her lesson.
Well done that you protected the other child!

OP - you did the right thing. Everyone has a moral duty of care. Even though the mother disregarded what you said, you highlighted her child's misdemeanours and maybe put the seed into her head that it isn't acceptable and the behaviour would not be tolerated.

Out of interest, what was the boy's behaviour like AFTER you spoke to the mother?

I wouldn't be inviting the child to any other parties - especially if his behaviour continued.

It's harsh to exclude a child due to unwanted behaviour but if the child's parents are refusing to discipline then you will simply end up with a party guest who is going to continue ruining it for others.

Sometimes you have to be harsh to be kind. It might be the only way this mum and boy learn to respect others and to be kind by excluding them. That way, they may end up questioning their exclusions and then answers given.

Some people learn the hard way.

You did the right thing.
When they say it takes a village to raise a child they don't mean cooking dinner and cleaning up they mean having good expectations of a child and ensuring they know social boundaries.

I suppose some credit may be given to the mother as she was actually present whereas the injured child's parents couldn't be arsed to stay perhaps?
Too many kids there for 4 adults to supervise and too long after a school day. 100% change of something going pear shaped if you ask me.
I would never have left my 6yr old in that situation.

Well done! I wouldn't hesitate to tell her & her darling sh*t off... to many parents letting their kids get away with murder which is their prerogative in their space and totally unreasonable when interacting with other kids

Good for you!

Well done OP!

Good for you. What a horrible little shit and of course the child isn't really to blame because his rotten mum has not brought him up properly.

Maybe dont call him a "shit" then?

Its a 6 year old child

FinallyThroughTheRoof I din't mean to offend anyone, and you do know he can't hear me, don't you?

But if it offends you, I won't call him that!

But as a mum if another child pushed mine of the trampoline, and left them with bruises, maybe that is what I would call him in my head, and he still would not be able to hear me!

I am guessing the one pushed off the trampoline and left with a bruise was about 6 too. So really there are no winners here, just a mum who can't be arsed to discipline or educated her child.

And if not disciplined he will go on to become a lot more disruptive.