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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is my neighbour a wanker?

358 replies

squirreltrap · 24/06/2017 23:26

I hate not getting on with my neighbours...I like to have them there as support but I've got an ishoo with my newish neighbour and AIBU?

So, there have been a few things...shouting at the kids for being noisy, and when I say shouting I mean shouting and always when I'm not there. I'm a SP if that makes any difference. He does this when I'm not there.

DS15 had some friends over a few weeks ago and they were in the garden and I saw him come up over the wall with a face of rage and he threw a can at them telling them to "shut the fuck up". I had warned him that the gathering was happening but they would be finished by 11 because I know he's noise sensitive. And I moved them inside (9.30) and he must have heard me do this so came knocking saying very nicely "don't move them because of me...don't want to ruin the party". But I'd seen him pop over the wall incandescent with rage so it didn't quite add up

Then today, DS12 went into his garden via a gap in the fence to get his football and found TWO BIN BAGS of footballs that were all ours.
The wall I talk about is something he built as soon as he moved in and had previously complained about DS12 kicking the ball against it and we took it and never did it since.

AIBU thinking what sort of wanker bags up footballs rather than just throw them back?
We live in a semi, you just have to deal with neighbours? It may sound like we are nightmares but the reality is the ds's play football in the garden once a week max, and that's discounting winter and rain, the ball goes over maybe once a month and so he's been storing these for over a year.

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 25/06/2017 18:27

And most of the replies have been fairly helpful explaining why the neighbour might have ran out of patience.

If so many people are suggesting that whilst the neighbour hasn't behaved perfectly, the OP should do some thinking about the noise habits of her kids then that's a reasonable thing to take away from the thread.

rolopolovolo · 25/06/2017 18:27

Your kid sounds awful. How can a 15 year old kick balls over that much? Why won't you take any responsibility for them?

I would have popped all their balls.

RickOShay · 25/06/2017 18:28

Of course it is ok to say you think the op is being unreasonable, but is that what has happened here?

FaFoutis · 25/06/2017 18:29

Yes.

Original poster
squirreltrap · 25/06/2017 18:29

This is the new Greggs sausage roll of MN

I've been totally slated on here and I'm happy to take it. I had no idea that people were so prickly about it. I will however maintain my neighbour is weird though at the very least - why has he never said anything? I'm happy to discuss and resolve but instead he shouts and swears and hoards footballs

FYI- my DS15 Is a total introvert with geeky ways but yeah let's just assume all 15 Yo's

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 25/06/2017 18:30

Don't play football in gardens, don't have a party until ELEVEN!, don't be a teenager actually.

My teenagers manage to be teenagers and not piss off the neighbours.

Highalert · 25/06/2017 18:32

Her kid doesn't sound awful. That post is one example of posters sticking the boot in because they think that's what you do on AIBU.

FaFoutis · 25/06/2017 18:33

I may be wrong but your neighbour may find it difficult to talk to you about this (he can't deal with conflict, is an introvert??), but gets driven to an angry response by the balls.

MiaowTheCat · 25/06/2017 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RickOShay · 25/06/2017 18:37

Then we disagree. The behaviour on this thread reminds me of salivating hyenas fighting for the juiciest cut of meat.

Highalert · 25/06/2017 18:40

Me too,Rick.

spiney · 25/06/2017 18:44

Blimey Miaow. Neieghbour from hell?

We're talking footballs here.

Highalert · 25/06/2017 18:46

I love how some posters make shit up to suit their agenda so they can have a good old froth on the internet.

NellieBuff · 25/06/2017 18:46

But OP you still haven't explained why it is acceptable for your DC to trespass on your neighbour's property and to rummage through his belongings (rubbish or not) OR more importantly your racist undertone of one of your posts

And for your information I was raised by a SP as was my husband as was one of my adopted sons before we were blessed by being allowed to adopt him. And although we are comfortable now we came from very poor backgrounds so do not make assumptions about us and leave the SP status out of it

Original poster
squirreltrap · 25/06/2017 18:48

Miaow - I have said that they haven't even knocked on or been in the garden for over a year

They are also VERY RARELY playing with other kids, just practising their shots on their own

Not even together

OP posts:
Squeegle · 25/06/2017 18:53

If I were you OP I would definitely leave this thread, there are a lot of crazy loons jumping to conclusions on it 😉

Highalert · 25/06/2017 18:54

I'd give up, squirrel. They don't care what you say. They can smell blood.

Mumzypopz · 25/06/2017 18:54

Op....do you really think it's ok for your son to trespass on someone else's property....or is there just a little bit of you that concedes this is wrong? Also..are your children incapable of going round to your neighbours to ask for their balls back?

Original poster
squirreltrap · 25/06/2017 18:55

On the racist undertones there have been insinuations of....he is white British. His wife is East Asian. I never seen her ever, the only time being when I showed them round my house before they moved in and yes, the blinds are always down.

Perhaps I'm being over the top, but something doesn't sit right with me about that. Racist? More, is he some sort of control freak actually. The hoarding of balls and shouting at my kids makes me question it more but I'm fine for this not to be the case if there's a better explanation

OP posts:
Original poster
squirreltrap · 25/06/2017 18:58

Mumzypopz - RTFT

I've already said many times they've not been going round because when they do he shouts

Im ok listening to people, don't need to leave. I'm interested to learn that people think it's U to play football, be in your garden despite saying it's ok...it's just a quandary as to how to resolve

OP posts:
StoorieHoose · 25/06/2017 19:00

So they don't go round cos he shouts so instead they go into his back garden and rummage through his bags?

Out of interest did your son take the balls back or leave them ?

StoorieHoose · 25/06/2017 19:02

I don't think many people have said it unreasonable to play football but that it's unreasonable to have balls going so wrong that they go over a 8 ft walk into someone's garden

Original poster
squirreltrap · 25/06/2017 19:02

Stoorie - of course he brought them back - they are his!
Why do you think it's ok to hoard other people's property?

OP posts:
Highalert · 25/06/2017 19:02

I hope he took his balls back.

StoorieHoose · 25/06/2017 19:03

Do you know think you should go and have a word with your neighbour and explain that your son has taken back all his balls and you will impress on him to try and not kick them so wildly that they go over into his garden?