Or is my neighbour a wanker?

[squirreltrap]

I hate not getting on with my neighbours...I like to have them there as support but I've got an ishoo with my newish neighbour and AIBU?

So, there have been a few things...shouting at the kids for being noisy, and when I say shouting I mean shouting and always when I'm not there. I'm a SP if that makes any difference. He does this when I'm not there.

DS15 had some friends over a few weeks ago and they were in the garden and I saw him come up over the wall with a face of rage and he threw a can at them telling them to "shut the fuck up". I had warned him that the gathering was happening but they would be finished by 11 because I know he's noise sensitive. And I moved them inside (9.30) and he must have heard me do this so came knocking saying very nicely "don't move them because of me...don't want to ruin the party". But I'd seen him pop over the wall incandescent with rage so it didn't quite add up

Then today, DS12 went into his garden via a gap in the fence to get his football and found TWO BIN BAGS of footballs that were all ours.
The wall I talk about is something he built as soon as he moved in and had previously complained about DS12 kicking the ball against it and we took it and never did it since.

AIBU thinking what sort of wanker bags up footballs rather than just throw them back?
We live in a semi, you just have to deal with neighbours? It may sound like we are nightmares but the reality is the ds's play football in the garden once a week max, and that's discounting winter and rain, the ball goes over maybe once a month and so he's been storing these for over a year.

still enjoying yourselves?
op is long gone

Can see things from both side here. I'm using a ladder to see over the 8 foot wall

I don't think he's a wanker though, probably at the end of their tether.

op is long gone

Well, they came back and posted 2 hours ago so not that long gone.

RickOShay just curious as to why you have such a personal vested interest in this. Do you know the OP or something?

I think it is the OP who needs to have a look at the behaviour of her household. Thats all im saying.

as an example, we regularly have a bunch of teenagers kicking a ball in the street when not 30ft away there is a big park. The other day i directed them to it.

I do think that properties within close proximity should be legally disallowed from creating excessive noise from say , 10am to 8pm, that includes diy,mowing,drunken parties, domestic incidents etc.

This is the norm in many other parts of Europe.

www.bmub.bund.de/en/topics/air-mobility-noise/protection-against-noise/general-information/

The Spanish can be noisy neighbours,,all that clacking and high volume conversation

www.abacoadvisers.com/spain_explained/blog/spanish-law/what-do-about-noise-in-spain

the UK really DOES need to bring in definitive and firmer legislation for noise pollution and indeed trespass for all our sakes

The point people who condone this are missing is that everyone has their boundaries and standards, and if this neighbour doesn't like the ball going into his garden, then he has every right to object. If some people are content for children to hit balls into their own garden and come into said garden whenever they choose, then that's entirely up to them. Just because your boundaries are more relaxed it doesn't mean everyone else's have to be.

Children play in gardens
That's what they're supposed to be able to do, imo.
If they're aiming a heavy ball right at your small child from over the fence that's a different matter. But they're not.
But a ball coming over once a week even is. It something to get angry about. IMO.
And I have lots of nice plants, no ornaments though.
You can't tell a child to play in the garden and be able to expect the ball to go exactly where they want it.

playing does not need to involve balls
plus they are teenagers

Teenagers aren't children?

Go and play in the garden children ,but no balls. What would you have them play? Ispy?!

NowtAbout yes it would piss me off because i have animals running about it the garden.
I'd be pissed having that many balls coming in.
Id also not be impressed at someone letting themselves into my garden

Can we just agree there is a difference between younger primary children and teenagers in their final couple of years of school.

They are not the same nor to they act the same.

I see one of the OP's fans has started a TAAT about everyone on this thread who thinks the OP is being U. Thinly disguised as a lighthearted one of course.
Subtle as a brick over your wall, as usual.

Most definitely MaisyPops.

My Nephew stood at six foot at aged 12 (his dad is a gentle giant) and his voice had already broken.

Bit different to the neighbours 7yo accidentally picking the ball over/being a bit loud.

He is Hagrid 😂😂😂😂

Also - I may have missed it - did the OP explain if Hagrid the neighbour threw his own can at said teenagers or was it an empty that mysteriously made its way next door?

I have a massive garden but I wouldn't let teenagers play football in it
The noise and the bellowing , no thanks
Send them to the park
What if his baby was in the garden playing ?

Why do people insist that others have to endure their children?

No, I don't know the op personally.
This thread is not in the spirit of the site.

How is it not in the spirit of the site?

Is it only in the "spirit of the site" to slag off neighbours but not to criticise the behaviour of the OP/their family?

The OP asked if she was unreasonable and I say she was and is. As I have said before of you don't want honest opinions then don't ask for them on an internet forum

I don't think the OP is unreasonable. I think lots of the responses here are just crazy.

I've living next door to someone like the OP. Her not there, teenage boys hanging around in the garden being loud and generally being teenagers - all ok for a bit but the more you have to hear them the more irritating it gets and the louder they seems. Then they turn 17 they start to drink, girls appear and they noise levels get louder. Maybe the neighbour is laying the law down now

Not throwing balls back - about as mean spirited as it gets.

Don't play football in gardens, don't have a party until ELEVEN!, don't be a teenager actually.

Let's hope next doors baby doesn't grow up.

This thread is not in the spirit of the site.

The OP made a massive mistake: starting her posts off calling the neighbour a wanker and then refusing to consider any view to the contrary.
All that was needed was:
OP- is my neighbour unreasonable or am I?
Mumsnet- he shouldn't have shouted but consider teens exaggerate and he may actually have a point
OP- ok. Yeah. Maybe the neighbour was unreasonable being out at 9pm but equally I can see my kids have annoyed him. Maybe the park is best

The spirit of AIBU is either that people think you are BU or NBU. That's it.

If you find yourself of a differing view to the majority it gives you a chance to consider that.

I think my biggest issue with the OP is the racist undertone of one of her posts - now that surely cannot be in the spirit of the site.