To wonder why people think single parents sit on their arse if they are not working? it

[malificent7]

So bringing up a child alone isnt a lot of work in itself?

Just been reading the benefit cap thread where someone said that people sit on their arse and still get 20 grand a year.

Im a single mum abd i do work but bringing up kids is the most important job ever ( but only if your middle class sith a rich dp it would seem. If your single then how dare you have kids in the first place )

I still don't see that the state, which really are strangers paying tax should have to pick up the tab

If the state is refusing to help me out as a single parent - because I'm a single parent - and would remove my children if they weren't clothed and fed, the state can treat my children's other parent in exactly the same way. But it doesn't.

It's capitalism. The only good work is the kind that makes money. If it doesn't make ££££ then it's useless.

Totally disagree Janeismymiddlename. Women do have a choice. Whether they want to confirm to the stereotype or prove there shouldn't be one is their own choice.

it's OK to put my back against the wall and force me into full-time work and my children in care 7am-7pm or I'm benefit scum?
I don't know any kids in childcare for 10 hours a day, even with parents working FT. I got to know quite a few kids in childcare from 8 to 5 though and all have turned into hard-working and ambitious teenagers. This notion that childcare is the worse thing for a child is a thought that suits parents who don't want to work FT.

Partly blurry but not entirely.

Put coldly, the planet doesn't need any more humans. 'Paying people to have them' therefore doesn't go down well.

Of course it isn't 'paying people to have them' but I do think consideration of what can be done about it rather than keeping the system ticking over would be helpful.

The issue isn't paying for parents who become single to help them get on their feet. The issue is those who see it as a lifestyle and come on with every possible excuses in the book to avoid working, especially FT for as long as they can do so.

limestrawberry, what do you suggest? I don't see how people will stop wanting children and making reproduction a privilege of the wealthy would be rather cruel.

The Government do not let people chose benefits as a lifestyle
Please read my link about work related activity for Parents over 18

mobile.gingerbread.org.uk/info/FactsheetSection.aspx?FactsheetId=26&SectionId=193&slide=1

My suggestions would be to change societal attitudes towards non paying fathers and to make childcare far more accessible for a 24 hour society.

Come on swing you must know that not all lone parents have the choice to be able to work full time alongside raising their children. There are many examples of reasons why in this thread.

Another that hasn't been raised so far is when a child has experienced trauma or poor health - at one stage I had to take each of my 3 DC to a different grief counselling session once a week after school. (Oh and pay £££ for them to have it too.) That meant 3 days I couldn't work past 3.30. Thankfully I have my own business so I could make up the hours by working through the night, but it took several years and a lot of resources to build my business (before my first husband died) - it's not a route available to many.

Women do have a choice. Whether they want to confirm to the stereotype or prove there shouldn't be one is their own choice.

My last post had fuck all to do with choice. I am astounded that anyone thinks it's ok to hound single mums socially, legally, practically, mentally...whilst their male counterparts have no legal comeback whatsoever. I will happily agree all,single mums should work full time the day that all single dads have to do the same.

I didn't have the choice to run I had too because he was beating the crap out of me!

I'm a stay at home parent, I imagine my children have the same needs as the children of someone on benefits. I imagine they get through similar amounts of laundry, make similar amounts of mess and require similar amounts of feeding!

It's a hard job raising them, no matter who foots the bill.

limestrawberry another good thing would be to make employers pay a wage you can live off without government topping it up, otherwise you're just subsidising businesses instead.

A refuge and a fuckin stereotype wasn't my choice either !!!!!!!

I don't know any kids in childcare for 10 hours a day, even with parents working FT

How does that work? Full time is considered 40 hours a week, so often 9-5. Unless you work round the corner from home/nursery (bloody difficult if you live/work in London), then you have to put them in 8-6 just to get to work to do that job and get back to pick up your child.....

Come on swing you must know that not all lone parents have the choice to be able to work full time alongside raising their children. There are many examples of reasons why in this thread.
Who said ALL? Of course there will be some exception, but this is about the majority. I don't know the figure and would love to be proven wrong, but I expect the majority of single mum work part-time or not all all.

I will happily agree all,single mums should work full time the day that all single dads have to do the same.
Single dad have to work 30 hours to get any benefits, so not sure what you're on about. Saying that, I agree with you, it should be 5 days, not 4.

I used to have to put my kids in 730 to 630. Bit crap really and expensive

That meant 3 days I couldn't work past 3.30.
At one stage, my DD needed physiotherapy twice a week, for quite some time. The first two appointments were early afternoon. When I explained that I worked FT and this was a problem, the admin person made sure to give me later appointments. The first couldn't be after 4pm and the one after with another physio at 5pm, but after that, I got the 5:30 slot every time.

Healthcare assistants will try to accommodate when explain that it is difficult to take time off work and you ask nicely. Not always, but often.

I agree Blurry but in all honesty no matter how good your wage is you also need to be able to adequately plan for how many hours you have.

£7.50 an hour, x 40, is £300 a week. That is a wage you can live off.

But not when childcare costs are subtracted.

We moved from the UK. To a country where the benefits system is at best limited. Single mums have no option but to work full time.

I am not saying it's easy in the UK but it could be worse.

but I expect the majority of single mum work part-time or not all all.

From a brief glance at the ONS data, that's true of the majority of mothers, single or otherwise. In fact, it's true of the majority of women, mothers or otherwise.

67% of women (aged 16-64) in work. Of those in work, 42% are part time. So, full time female workers are 58% of that 67%, or, put more elegantly, 39%.

Then thank goodness there is a little humanity kursk, just because it's crap elsewhere, doesn't mean it has to be here.

swing Oh, I could have just requested a more convenient time for my children's grief therapy. Being a layabout single parent at the time that I didn't think of that. Maybe it would have worked when I lost business due to clashes with my late husband's inconvenient chemotherapy appointments too?

Well done with the stats, Nat my dear. Though what's the bet that it'll be shouted down by someone who clearly believes that the plural of anecdote is data...

I work full time in a well paid job with a toddler in full time childcare. I have been told that this is damaging him. There are countless "scientific" articles in the daily fail etc discussing the damage I am doing to him. But apparently a LP who doesn't work is lazy and also dramaging their kids who will grow up to have no work ethic etc etc. a SAHM with a well of husband is a "yummy mummy" who fills her time being annoying in coffee shops. basically no one can win...

From a brief glance at the ONS data, that's true of the majority of mothers, single or otherwise. In fact, it's true of the majority of women, mothers or otherwise.
And that's fine, when you can afford to do so without needing to rely on benefits. I grew up with the principle that working part-time was a luxury, but it seems that for many, it's a due, even if it means that they rely on FT working women, even single mothers to pay up to support them.