Things your husband should know..

[ComeBackWillyWillpower]

After 4 years together he still only brings me a fork when he cooks (which is rare in itself)...surely by now he should know that I use a knife as well as a fork to eat?
Every single time I have to ask for a knife and every single time he huffs and puffs about it Tut.

progress here. After more than 20 years he has finally twigged that when he asks me to book a table it will be booked in my name.

Lunchtime today - "we have a reservation in the name of Adorabell"

That's the first time he hasn't given his name, insisted it is there then accused me of not booking before being exasperated when all becomes clear

OP unfortunately it has become the modern way only to use a fork . I'm an old fashioned kind of guy. I have one of those wooden planks called a dining table. Weirdly we gather around it to eat and all at the same time. We have a full suite of cutlery,glasses and everything.

I'm surprised to see the fork thing come up so often. We probably use just a fork or spoon for 90% of our meals: curry, chilli, pasta, home made soup, dhal, tagine, tabbouleh, mee goreng, nasi gorng, , vegetable crumble etc.

Maybe being vegan helps. None of that tough old meat to cut up.

I bring DH a knife and a fork and the knife is never used. If he's eating spaghetti type pasta or noodles I bring a fork and a spoon and the spoon is never used. I wonder whether it annoys him.

When he's bringing cutlery he brings a random assortment and I select a knife and fork for myself.

I had pasta bake for tea yesterday - laid the table with knife & fork - then found I just needed the fork (and laughed!)

That I am 5ft2 and he is 6ft6 and if he really doesn't want me calling him for help every five minutes then put things where I can actually reach them!!!

36 years and I still have to call him and he still moans

Mine only eats with a fork too.. or a spoon. He gets mighty stressy about my knife useage

That he needs to duck to get through our doors (he is 6'8" and they are 6'6").

Oh how I laughed this morning. And then said "mind your head" for every door afterwards. I shall make this last - in retaliation for similar experiences to nokidshere.

DH is another knife refuser! Unless we're sitting at a table (we eat on laps quite a lot...)
I bought him a 'knork' fork for Christmas... www.nrshealthcare.co.uk/eating-drinking-aids/cutlery-aids/knork-fork

I wish DH would realise that things that belong upstairs that are placed on the stairs to be relocated do not magically get up there on their own. He will just walk past them, instead of taking one thing up/down each time.

When dinner is ready and I call him he says 'Wow, that looks wonderful!' Every day, even if it's bloody beans on toast, which sounds ok until you make a huge effort and still get the same response. Devalues it.

The rubbish bin thing. Why? It's about 15 steps to the big bin so why not empty it instead of ramming more in and ripping the bag?

Mine very kindly takes plates etc out after a meal, but does he scrape them off/ stack them? Of course not, they are strewn over every available surface. How much does it take to scrape off any leftovers, run them under a hot tap and put in the bowl to be washed?

Which brings me to washing up. He can use a quarter of a giant bottle of Fairy to wash four plates and assorted cutlery, plus a whole tank of hot water. Goodness only knows how.. I suspect it is a ploy to get out of having to do it.

Worst of all.. why can't he close the front door quietly like everyone else? Each and every morning I am woken by it crashing shut at 5:45.. I don't sleep well and that is one of the few times I do actually sleep deeply..until.. CRASH! And he swears he doesn't do it :)

That I can tell when he's put the milk in with the teabag before the hot water. It smells and tastes horrible and I WILL NOT DRINK IT, no matter how heartfelt your lie plea that you did it the right way round. I'm on to you matey.

Birthdays - anyone's. "When's my Mum's birthday?" I don't know - she's been your Mum for 45 years, how can you not know this?

That if you want the children to shut doors behind them, you should not leave them open every single time you come through one.

That DD is allergic to nuts and will not eat peanut butter, no matter how many times you ask her if she wants it. That DS hates olives - stop asking him if he wants olives!

If you want something washed, put it in the washing basket. Don't hang it over the banister, leave it there for a month and then ask me if it's been washed at 11pm the day before you want it.

That when I come home and do not immediately announce my name, presence and business at the top of my voice, it is probably still gonna be me, the only other person with a key. So barking a startled, "Scampi?!" when I come in usually prompts a cheerful, "No, it's the burglars!" from me.

That just because he can see everything on the high shelf, I can't, because I am a foot shorter than him.
That if I say I have read it, I have read it, and there is no need to say 'really? wow that was fast'. It's been almost 14 years, we don't need to keep commenting on my ability to read fast.
That if it needs washing, it needs to be put either in the washing machine, or if that is currently in use, in the laundry basket.
That I am not, generally, a film person, so 'let's see if there are any good films on' is not going to have me delighted. There are only about 10 films ever made that I can honestly say I enjoyed and will watch again. And no, dh, 300 is never going to be one of them, stop telling me I like it, it is SHIT.

DS' medication regime. Its been 3 years now and still he asks me what he needs.

On Wednesdays I go out and he normally texts me to ask. He doesn't text me very often so sometimes I feel like screaming 'look at the last text I sent you!!!!!'.

Oh and that DD is vegetarian. I know its only been 18 months, but every tie I am not around and its his turn to cook (once or twice a month) he seems flummoxed by the fact DD wont eat bacon and chips,

when the other half folds my cloths and leaves them on the bed, takes a hole 3 more stops to put them away and around 20secs more. best thing is some of the cloths are still inside out.

or she folds my socks on top of each (places on sock on top of the other then folds them in half) other rather then folds them inside each other (to make a kinda ball) .

been to gather for 5 years.

P.S when i do them. all cloths the right way around and not inside out and I put everything away in to there right place.

That the milk is delivered on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, and has been delivered on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays since we moved here 7 years ago.

I just give him a hard stare when he asks now.

My DH also only uses a fork (except for steak/chicken breasts etc. - we don't eat lumps of meat that often though) and complains if I bring him a knife.

My main complaint is that he always wants to talk to me when I'm watching the TV, and that he gets annoyed if I don't hear him/listen to him if I'm watching. Then I pause it in case it's important (OK, sometimes it is). Then I press play when he stops talking. The VERY SECOND I press play he starts talking again.

He also wonders why I can't hear him when I'm in another room with machinery running.

And he had the cheek to say "you aren't listening to me, you heard what DS said and he's standing right next to me". That's because DS HAS A VERY LOUD VOICE AND SHOUTS ALL THE TIME. You have a blooming quiet voice and I can't hear you if you're in the same room.

And he expects me to translate for my DM (because of said quiet voice and DM is slightly deaf). Just raise your voice. Or stand closer to her. Or say it again. You are both adults and you both speak English.

Mackan why is another adult folding your clothes and putting them away?

Im a fork only woman, leaves one hand free for helping kidaroos cut their food up, passing condiments and stopping youngest from stabbing his bro with his fork or stealing things of his sisters plate. Came from years of sitting at the table alone doing homework or reading during meals as rest of family prefered sofas and laptrays.

@drspouse,

Sorry she is my other half and a full time mother/house keeper at the moment and I work 40+ hours a week.

Well mainly she tell me to fold the cloths as she "washed them" (E.G put powder in the machine turn it on. once finished move them to the dryer and hit the hit the on button) . as all the dirty clothing is already in the washing machine or sitting next to it if it is full (this only happens if it is to late 2 put the washing machine on)

also my GF does this to me all the time. i walk in to the room and say you need anything. get the no thank you so i sit down and the sec my ass hits the sofa she then asks me to get something.

she does this all the time. also she will walk in from the kitchen i come in from another room and when i sit down she will be like can you get this from the kitchen. or i am already siting down she get up goes to the kitchen and she just about to sit down and asks me 2 go to the kitchen and get something. by the point she finishes the sentience she is sitting down.

or

she has the remote in her hand and sitting on the other sofa. she will leave the room 2 do something that could of waited then comes back in and shouts at me for not pausing the TV so the rewinds it 5 mins before she left. gets up again and does the same thing. some times i watch the same 5mins 3-4 times. when i do pause the TV she comes in shouting saying did i ask you to pause it.

Just cant win.

Mackan I suggest you go and hide right now. It's the kindest way. Either that or do your own washing since it's so easy.

drspouse

I have to say through the week she does more washing but i mainly doing the folding and put them away. at the weekend I do the washing, folding and put away.

also another rule is who ever cooks the other person does the washing up.

I am not saying before anything thinks when i say she is the house keeper i do my part as well and at the weekend she does not lift a finger.

Mackan1 I get where you're coming from. I do most of the laundry in our house; when DH does it I can guarantee it won't be put away. Washed yes, dried usually, taken out of the dryer/ off the line if he is reminded, folded if he is nagged reminded many times, but put away? Ooooooh no, for some reason that's a step too far.