Things your husband should know..

[ComeBackWillyWillpower]

After 4 years together he still only brings me a fork when he cooks (which is rare in itself)...surely by now he should know that I use a knife as well as a fork to eat?
Every single time I have to ask for a knife and every single time he huffs and puffs about it Tut.

DH hasn't yet worked out that the recycling goes into the recycling bin (that he bought ) and not on the windowsill. 16 years I've put up with it!

We need to swop, my husband brings me a knife when I don't want one (for pasta/rice dishes). To be fair he asks now, after 12 yrs.

When I go to my mums for tea (probably 3 times a week🙈), she always gives me a spoon to eat pasta with. Whyyyyyy?

That if he turns his head back/walks away while talking to me, I cannot hear him.

That if he strides away from me while crossing a busy road, I will in all probability end up hanging onto a lamppost on the wrong side - I have chronic vestibular issues that are ten times worse in busy environments or with head movements such as looking left and right, and when I try to hang onto his arm when crossing roads, it is literally for self preservation. And yet off he goes without me, time after time. You'd think after 18 years this would have sunk in. Maybe I need to end up under a bus one day just to make a point.

*turns his back, that should say (or turns his head away)

Spiderlight. I struggle with my balance too and find crossing roads difficult. I've had labyrinthitis a few times since my early twenties. Have you managed to get any help at all? Sorry to derail thread

"Resentment over trivialities. That's Mumsnet."

Always one poster having to be shitty over a clearly lighthearted thread. That's Mumsnet.

What time ds finishes school !! Every day off - what time do I pick ds up ??

That I have zero interest in Liverpool FC. That I care about who is transferring where. What football manager has quit. Who Liverpool have bought. How Liverpool are doing in the league. And saying "we" when he talks about them. Um no. I support Arsenal! I have zero interest in bloody Liverpool.

Where the bloody spare toilet roll is kept, and that leaving 2 measly sheets on the roll does not excuse him from changing it for a new one. Tit head!

What time ds finishes school !! Every day off - what time do I pick ds up ??
Try some random times - I bet he knows really.
.'what time do I pick DS up?'
'Two o'clock.'
'What, why 2 o'clock? It's usually....'
He might figure out that he knows what time pick up is then!

Not to leave wet towels on MY side of the bed after taking a shower he comes into the bedroom and dumps the towel on the bed, even worse, always my side. Just bloody hang it up to dry in the bathroom or put it in the dryer man!

Bike I love watching Glastonbury and my DH always goes to bed in a huff. I think we may have married the wrong men!

We have lived in this house for nearly 20 years. Our bin day has always, always, been the same day of the week yet if I say to him "Could you please put the wheelie at the front" I get a confused face and am asked "Oh, is it bin day tomorrow?". No, I just want you to drag wheelie bins about on our driveway you gonk.

Egg That's a good idea - will try that next time

When we're grabbing fast food on the go and I'm on the verge of hangry don't sit in the f'ing car for ages repeating my order wrongly back to me. Invariably it means you'll bring back the wrong food and I'll end up properly grumpy because you got me the wrong food.

He's also a fork only kinda guy but he tends to cook mainly fork only food so never occurs that knives might be needed.

"Do you want a coffee?"
"No I don't drink coffee & never have had one in the 13 years we've been together!"

He never knows where the kids are in the week, if they're at the childminder's or my parents.
Always asks which bins need to go out on. Monday night, despite driving past lots of houses to get to ours at the end of a cul-de-sac.
Doesn't know the DC's birthdays

My husband doesn't know my mobile number after 17 years. No, really.

He also doesn't know the correct way to hang toilet paper.

That when I plate up the dinner his is always the one on the left with twice as many potatoes
I don't drink tea
That his bath towel doesn't put itself away
That wrapping white sport socks in black running top and shorts doesn't help
And if special running socks need to be washed inside out ,they need to be put inside out into the washing basket
And
Hello DD
I'm glad you're back home from uni for the holidays
But just leaving your stuff in the dining room doesn't make it magically sort it self into a calm order and actually it needs to be sorted out and put away

It took mine years to accept I don't like broad beans. I only eat broccoli for its medicinal qualities but I LOVE cauliflower. In his mind if you dislike one you should really dislike the other, which of course doesn't necessarily follow. I eat almost every other veg out there, so not hard to feed.

Mm, l don't know my own mobile number. Is that some kind of faux pas?

Fuckiing well fuck off you beanpusher 

@HoneyDragon - I might just love you a little

I also hate beans, grainy little bastards. DH has the sense to know that though.

He only eats with a fork, I always bring a knife - drives him insane. But he's wrong so how else do I show him the error of his ways ?

When the school holidays are, and not be all surprised when I ask him to take 2 days off in August. "But I've already booked a week off" "Yes DH, and the dc are on holiday for 6 and a half weeks".

That children need food at fairly regular intervals during the day, even if in havn't prepared it before I go out. Also drink.

He should know where his own belongings are...

NANCY, HAVE YOU SEEN MY KEYS / WALLET / PHONE / ITEM YOU DIDN'T KNOW EXISTED?! (Repeated every day for the last decade)

My DH and I have been married for 30 years in September (god knows how that happened as I only feel about 35). He still doesn't remember that I do not like chocolate that does not have nuts in it. Or that empty glasses and mugs go in the dishwasher not near the dishwasher. However he has finally worked out that dirty socks/shirts/underpants go in the laundry hamper in the hall. Everything else remains in his floordrobe.