Things your husband should know..

[ComeBackWillyWillpower]

After 4 years together he still only brings me a fork when he cooks (which is rare in itself)...surely by now he should know that I use a knife as well as a fork to eat?
Every single time I have to ask for a knife and every single time he huffs and puffs about it Tut.

@shazkiwi THIS IS WHY BISTO EXISTS !!!!

That after 19 years I have sweetener in my coffee.

My OH also contsant key, wallet, glasses, work pass loser no I do not know where they are I am not your mother.

I took him to the airport Sunday. Five minutes after I dropped him off he calls "can you come back and get me?" "Why?" "My flight was yesteday".

I didn't even eyeroll.

Mine only uses a fork too, weird!

Never remembers that car smellies (especially vanilla) make me want to throw up. Every time he sees one he asks me which one we should get! Er, none as they make me feel sick 🙄

That I never use a knife. I get one each meal he cooks, and invariably don't use it. I cleaned down the back of the sofa last weekend and found eleven knives! On the plus side, I now don't need a new cutlery set 🤣🤣

My DH still can't remember whether I prefer brown sauce or ketchup with a sausage/bacon toastie..... (brown, for the record...)

I'd LTB - but he has managed to bring me a coffee every morning for 25 years

Yes to having the TV on All. Fucking. Day.

Also
That cars do not magically fill themselves with petrol.
That dirty socks belong in the laundry basket, not on the living room floor.
That my uterus is not a homing device, no I do not magically know where everything in the universe is just because I have one.
And all the ones about the bins too.

I hate raw onions, or if they are massive and swimming in my gravy. We've been together almost a decade and he still forgets that, then gets crabby when I give him the mystified "what have you done to my dinner?" look.

Wonder if there are any fork only women?

I don't think I need a knife if there isn't anything to cut (stir fries, shepherd's pie etc). DH takes and dirties a knife for everything. He also always eats cake with a fork, even if it's not particularly sticky cake.

He has no idea where anything goes in the kitchen, even though he suggested most of the places in the first place when we moved in. He has no idea whose anyone's clothes are unless they're either his or very obviously female clothes. Everything else is given randomly to either of our two very tall thin DSs or to short fat me. He is utterly convinced that my oldest friend is diabetic and my mum has something wrong with her hip - they both have lots of health problems but not those ones!

And then there's the Along Came Polly thing. For some reason whenever the film Along Came Polly is going to be on TV he says there's a film on that sounds good - he's incapable of remembering that we've seen it before and we both thought it was a bit crap. I should probably force him to watch it again just to ram the message home but I could do something much more interesting with those two hours.

DH needs to remember I do not do pink. No pink clothes, nothing pink in the house, no jealousy at anything pink anyone else has .. so why yet again has he come home with pink flowers

You absolutely need a nork

My god, you lot have some fucking useless husbands.