AIBU or is girlfriend's small a

[Sillyjelly]

My girlfriend does a strange thing that is starting to bother me, in part cos it makes no sense and it can ruin a good atmosphere.

An example would be I can ask for something simple, like "please will you pass me the mustard" and she'll just say "no".... That's it.

Im always a bit surprised and think shes joking, but once she has said no thats it, I have to get up and walk round her chair to get the mustard, or whatever it is.

This is not when she's busy, or annoyed, we'll be having a perfectly normal time and then she does it. It's quite embarrassing when she does it in front of other people too. It makes us look nuts and they are embarrassed.

It's weird right? It's starting to piss me off and I wish she wouldn't do it.

It sounds as though you've let her get away with her obnoxious behaviour for too long. She only does it to you, so I think you should LTB.

RiverTam how do you know the OP is a man?

It is a control thing, and it would be the end of the relationship for me

I'd be tempted to 'accidentally' knock her drink over or tip her plate in her lap.

This would drive me mad, not so much in itself but because it seems like a mind game, or that she needs to let you know she won't do anything for you. It's not nice.

(Understandable if you always expect her to get things for you that aren't within easy reach and she's had enough - but it doesn't sound like that 's the case.)

Dpotter - reminds me of when my DC were younger and they would just hand me everything they no longer wanted to deal with. Snotty hankies, dirty socks, sweet wrapper - they'd walk over (past the bin) and hand it to me like I was some kind of dispose-all.

They've stopped now (after me exclaiming "I'm not the bin!" for approx 5 years)

Banff true, I don't. But if he is, the point stands.

It's bloody rude, whatever!

That's so strange, weird behaviour from her obviously but also you! How can this happen more than once without you asking her and her family why she acts like this? I wouldn't be able to go on without an answer but then I need to know everything because I'm nosey

She's rude.

Tell her to treat you with respect from now on or the relationship is over, and mean it. The next time she is rude to you, walk away.

Do you say please? If you do and she's not refusing for lack of manners then that's weird and quite annoying.

you could try smearing mustard in her hair?

What a rude cow. It is a manners thing - she hasn't any. It may be small but I couldn't tolerate pointless bs like this.

When we were kids if we asked grandparents or sometimes parents 'can you pass me the salt' they would sometimes look at us expectantly waiting for a 'please' - which as well trained kids we would then remember and be passed the salt!!

Nowadays I would always say please. Could it be this OP?

Does she think she is being funny?

It's just plain rude.

Thats rude AF and very odd.

That is bloody weird! And she only does it to you-not signs of a nice person at all!

That's a mean streak a mile wide right there.

If she only does it to you, she is blatantly trying to belittle you in public. Tell her that that is how it comes over, and ask her to stop. If she won't, dump her. You don't need this nonsense in your life.

This isn't a constant behaviour, often she is perfectly amenable. But it's regular enough to bother me and the fact it's not constant means it catches me out every time!

Textbook shit testing.

Have you ever asked her "X is next to your hand, but you won't give it to me. Do you think that's normal? Why do you that?"

Oh dear, cannot be bothered to even pass you a condiment when you pleasantly ask...

Run for the hills

How long have been with her? Is it a new behaviour or has she always done it?

Her behaviour is truly bizarre.
Next time she does it in public, call her out on it. Say something like, 'What, you're really not going to pass it to me? Why not? What's the matter with you?' Guaranteed, the people you're dining with will be flummoxed (at her behaviour) and she's the one who'll look like an idiot, not you.