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AIBU?

AIBU to ask your advice on wether it's worth taking my Neighbours from hell to court?

658 replies

Totallyattheendofmyrope · 21/06/2017 21:04

I've had threads on here about my neighbours from hell.
We've been threatened, sworn at harassed and our visitors harassed.
We have involved the police who initially wanted to issue a harassment order against said neighbours but were overruled by their superior officer who said " it never ends well in neighbour disputes" Confused
The actual abuse has reduced significantly though we still endure low level harassment.
I'm keeping notes etc as recommended by the police.
I've pushed for mediation and have met with the mediator however neighbours are stalling and I doubt very much they will attend.
Currently the favourite form of harassment is to park their vehicles to make it quite difficult for me to park. I can get in and I can get out but I do dread weekends and I dread coming home as I'm always so anxious about what they will have done and will I be able to get in ok etc.
I have checked my deeds and they are blocking my "easement ' and it states in the deeds that no one is allowed to do anything to hinder another's ingress and egress.
Currently the neighbours are freely enjoying and utilising the easement I honour and provide them with on my land.
So- Aibu to consider starting legal proceedings or am I just feeding into their crazy?
What would you do?

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IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 22/06/2017 12:16

Can you park on the street?

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kali110 · 22/06/2017 12:44

CouldntMakeThisShitUp
Thankyou! Thought i couldnt be the only one thinking this was crazy!
Why should the op park on the street!??

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peaceout · 22/06/2017 12:53

i'd also get a kick out of listing their car for sale in the free ads/papers for a ridiculously low price (do you have their phone number?) - knowing they will be getting inundated with calls

They'll know it was her, they will retaliate and they will do it bigly
There will be no winners

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angelnix · 22/06/2017 13:10

Is there no way that you could install a separate driveway for your house? Even if it means losing a bit of garden?

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NellieFiveBellies · 22/06/2017 13:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

loveka · 22/06/2017 13:13

This sounds awful. I really do feel for you.

As someone who is now moving due to the neighbour raising a spurious boundary dispute and blackmailing us I can tell you what I have learnt.

You don't have to follow-up a cease and desist solicitors letter. It may cost £300. It can stand alone.

Police won't come for harassment. But they will come for breach of the peace. Try to call them when they are quiet and they might show up.

We have declared the dispute and explained to buyers that it is a personal thing against us.

Even if you win in court, even if you are awarded costs you may have to battle to get the money from them.

Boundary disputes/ easement issues are horrendous. I was determined not to move but I can't live dreading seeing them. So I am moving away and I am not even going to sue them for the money I had to spend redoing the garden after the wilfully destroyed it.

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loveka · 22/06/2017 13:15

You can't terminate an easement, no Nellie. The only way to extinguish an easement is if both parties agree. It cost about £800 in solicitors fees. I have done it.

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 13:38

Sorry - my lovely friend took me out for coffee.

TBH I am pissed that they use my property when refusing me my right of way over theirs iyswim but then / they are sad bastards and I am not- so I should just let it go right?
The problem with pulling up hedges and taking down my fence is that it actually says in the covenants that I can't.
I can't block my property with plants etc as the neighbours have easements and I'm not supposed too.
I am not going to 'win ' this battle because you can't reason with crazy.
They are completely unhinged, they have been twat parking since march it is the first thing they do in the morning (rearrange cars) and the last thing twat dh does at night when he comes home after a long day at work.
They are totally resolute and apparently immovable.

What can I do to accept the way they behave so mentally I can live the next 2 years without feeling harassed everyday.

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Sedona123 · 22/06/2017 14:04

I remember your last thread. Your neighbours are completely vile. I think that you do need to keep contacting the police and also let them know how much it is now affecting you.

I actually agree with growinganotherhead. Film them being twats and post it on YouTube, or some parking like a twat website.

Did you ever find out if the neighbour does work as a teaching assistant? If so, you should consider contacting the school. I wouldn't want someone that vindictive and crazy anywhere near other children.

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FidgetSpinner · 22/06/2017 14:15

What cunts! You're more restrained than me, go to a pet suppliers and buy a load of insects and get a friend to post them through their letter box.

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RandomMess · 22/06/2017 14:31

Hmmmm park on the road and accidently spill some nails at some point...

On a more serious note, I would another very small car so whenever you're just nipping out you can use that! Something with a really loud rev so they can't help but hear you coming and going.

I think somehow you do need to laugh that they are wasting their lives rearranging their cars!

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 14:31

Unfortunately she's not a teaching assistant - tbh I would have been appalled if she was but I thought it'd give me leveridge.

The mediatior said the twat would contact her this week - she only agreed to mediation last thing. Firstly she point blank refused then she called the police back and said she would on the condition that it would only be me & her... this gives me two thoughts
1- she can't trust her dh to keep his temper
And
2- this is my dh's thoughts-- he thinks she's possibly been lying to her family about what has been going on (i.e. Nothing).. perhaps making shit up to attention seek. This would explain the extreme reaction from her family towards us.

  1. She's getting building work done and was probably shitting it that I would make it difficult for her.


So far she's made excuses and keeps dangling to the mediator maybe next week etc.
I don't think she'll do it personally.

Can I contact the officer from my last call out and ask for the details of the officer who overrides the decision to not serve a harassment order?
Can I contact the police and ask for an explanation?
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kali110 · 22/06/2017 14:39

Id be complaining to the police, this is harassment. I'd state i want to take this futher. Use the fact the other office would have as evidence.

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terrylene · 22/06/2017 14:48

re: hedge and fence - would it be possible to put a small inconspicuous gate in between you and the road, and then park on the road, and access via the gate. I can't remember the diagram, but if you could put a gate in the back garden, they would never see you either.

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Sunshinegirl82 · 22/06/2017 15:10

If you plan to spend money on solicitors I'd spend it on seeing if there is any possible way of creating an alternative way of accessing your drive/creating alternative parking. Could you create a space using the back garden at all? Then they can rearrange their cars to their hearts content with no impact on you.

I wouldn't let the police off that easily either, I'd keep on reporting the incidents and push for them to do something. They're clearly harassing you.

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loveka · 22/06/2017 15:12

You asked how to cope living next to them.

I have bought tall plants (I am also mot allowed a fence through a covenant). I have bamboo in pots and a willow hedge. I put up a second shed.

I can't get into any further dispute with them, so I just try to ignore them.

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speedywell · 22/06/2017 15:46

Just horrendous for you OP.

I think if there is nothing practical/ legal you can do or want to do, then for the sake of your health, you have to park on the street.

As a PP said, your DH can't say that it shouldn't bother you and at the same time stop you from doing something that would alleviate the problem for you.

To an extent they have already 'won' in that they are suceeding in making your life a misery, but if you can just accept parking on the road from now on, then you can hopefully just draw a line under it.

They'll likely get sick of messing around if it isn't even affecting you. Then they'll either give up or possibly escalate and if this results in criminal behaviour you'll have them once and for all.

But I would suggest park on the street and work on ignoring as much as possible.

I unerstand how things like this can mess with your head. Hope you get some peace in the end.

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ChocolateButton15 · 22/06/2017 16:15

The covenants thing is quite easy to get around. I have loads on my house preventing things we wanted to do. Our solicitor found out who owned the covenants, wrote to them and asked permission to do the things we wanted (remove trees/shrubs/extension/loft conversion) . They wrote back and said they would grant permission for £500, we paid and got a letter back confirming permission. Might be worth looking into this and seeing if you can move the hedge/extend drop curb.

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Sedona123 · 22/06/2017 16:27

Very interesting re the mediation. I also think that your DH is right and she's probably making things up.

You should contact the police again. I think that this behaviour is starting to be taken more seriously by some police forces than it used to. There have been some court cases recently where neighbours like yours have ended up in jail for that kind of behaviour, although usually it has been ongoing for years, rather than a few months. That obviously doesn't mean that what is happening to you and your family is any less serious though.

One other idea. I think that you said that the house between you and the twat neighbours is rented? Is it possible to find out who the owner is and let them know that the twats are in breach of the driveway covenant? If someone else rented instead of the current renters they may not be ok with having to reverse out onto the main road.

Is it also possible that the twats are trying to gradually claim that part of the driveway as part of their property? I think that they could legally claim the land if they could prove that they have had sole use of it for a period of time?

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 17:09

Thanks everyone I really appreciate the input.Flowers

I just had the mediator on the phone - she doorstepped the twit this week. It was quite interesting actually - the mediator seems quite mousy and young and I have some misgivings but the door stepping was impressiveStar

Mrs Twit has said there is some driveway issues she'd like to discuss and said she's sought legal advice-( I don't believe that for a minute if she had she'd know she's in the wrong).
Mrs twit also said there was an issue the other day that I was videoing herHmm
She obviously saw me taking a photo of her twatty parking.
I told the mediator that the pcs had told me to document and she accepted this.
I also told the mediator that Mrs twits behaviour re: mediation is another form of control-- she will go to mediation- she won't...we'll only if she dictates who will be there etc

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 17:15

The most wonderful thing happened when the mediator first visited me on Monday though...,
She came to the door and intriduced herself, I invited her in and we shook hands...I knew the twat and her twatty father were outside..

I said to the mediator...perhaps we should go outside and I can show you the driveway to help you get a visual on it.

Brilliantly the tests then proceeded to laugh sneer and intimidate, like a 15 yr old hard girl smoking s fag at a bus stop.Grin the mediator looked like she wanted to crawl up her own arse.
When we went in the house I said to her..."I'm sorry that must have been very uncomfortable for you".

The twats had no idea who she isGrinGrin

Today in conversation said to the mediator, you know how they behave, you felt it the other day on my driveway? That's how they treat me and my visitors that's how I feel every time I'm outside.

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SnowBallsAreHere · 22/06/2017 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 17:29

Yes snows it is the developer ....
The other issue is if I create more space they may encroach more space iyswim?

There is already plenty of space if everyone sticks to the rules....if just be moving the problem really

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 17:30

I'd*

Sorry about all the typos everyone- my phone is correcting everything....

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kali110 · 22/06/2017 18:33

I would seriously escalate this. I would be making such a complaint to the police. I would be asking the mediator ( if allowed) as a witness.
I would be asking the police why it's acceptable for you to be harassed, spat at and bullied to the point it is affecting your mental health and why won't they take it seriously?

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