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AIBU?

AIBU to ask your advice on wether it's worth taking my Neighbours from hell to court?

658 replies

Totallyattheendofmyrope · 21/06/2017 21:04

I've had threads on here about my neighbours from hell.
We've been threatened, sworn at harassed and our visitors harassed.
We have involved the police who initially wanted to issue a harassment order against said neighbours but were overruled by their superior officer who said " it never ends well in neighbour disputes" Confused
The actual abuse has reduced significantly though we still endure low level harassment.
I'm keeping notes etc as recommended by the police.
I've pushed for mediation and have met with the mediator however neighbours are stalling and I doubt very much they will attend.
Currently the favourite form of harassment is to park their vehicles to make it quite difficult for me to park. I can get in and I can get out but I do dread weekends and I dread coming home as I'm always so anxious about what they will have done and will I be able to get in ok etc.
I have checked my deeds and they are blocking my "easement ' and it states in the deeds that no one is allowed to do anything to hinder another's ingress and egress.
Currently the neighbours are freely enjoying and utilising the easement I honour and provide them with on my land.
So- Aibu to consider starting legal proceedings or am I just feeding into their crazy?
What would you do?

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Mummmy2017 · 22/06/2017 07:23

Can you park your car a bit more down the drive, so if they park wrong they block themselves in?

would be funny if you could park so they can't even open the car door...

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Oblomov17 · 22/06/2017 07:27

Ha ha. Buying another car is actually a really good idea. Or a huge plant in a huge container. Or something. Actually you could make this awful situation kind of funny?

It's very very hard to not let someone mess with your mind. But you really do need to TRY and find a way?

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BangkokBlues · 22/06/2017 07:29

It sounds v stressful but I think legal proceedings will stress you out more, you probably won't 'win' and you'll have to declare it if you well

Why are some people so bat shit crazy??

Can you move? Might be worth the hassle to get away from them.

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 07:32

If I parked at the end of my property line and blocked there easement NONE of them would be able to get in and out safely- but if I give them just one excuse I think they would open up a whole other level of crazy. They are desperate for me to give them a reason.
I actually said to dh- I'll park on the street just to remove my stress - I don't actually give a shit but dh is against it. He says they are bullies and it will embolden them.

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 07:32

I can't move for at least 2 years.

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 07:35

It is a very deliberate act on their part , this weekend the male neighbour had built himself a little 'forte' on the shared drive with a wheelie bin and all his tools blocking the drive and when we were still able to get in he called us 'wankers'

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cordeliavorkosigan · 22/06/2017 07:35

If you did buy a cheap second car you could give a key to the other neighbours too.

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 07:35

Can you have a car on your drive does it not have to be taxed and insured etc?

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FiveyearPlan · 22/06/2017 07:36

I've been in this situation (and worse). It's difficult to hear but your only solution is to move - either sell or rent out. Be very careful of beginning any disputes as they'll have to be declared as part of the house sale and I expect would prevent it (who would buy a house with an ongoing neighbor dispute?!). We wasted thousands going down the civil route with solicitor letters and proceedings agains harassment (sorry can't remember correct term) - took years and got us nowhere - utterly pointless. We also consistently recorded incidents and reported to police - again v difficult for us to get anywhere but eventually we did manage to sell our house and much later some cases came to court and we did achieve some convictions (no jail time unfortunately). But ultimately the only thing that resolved the situation was us moving far, far, away.

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cordeliavorkosigan · 22/06/2017 07:37

Probably not worth your time but if you could gently egg them into criminal actions the harassment orders, police etc might work?

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IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 22/06/2017 07:38

Like others have suggested can't you put up some very large flower pots or an old banger? You say it would infringe on them but surely there's a way to do it so they can still park but they don't annoy the fuck out of you?

I think we need a diagram so we can help come up with solutions

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MaryPoppinsPenguins · 22/06/2017 07:38

I'd try to be nice through gritted teeth so it died down a bit... then I'd move. I managed to sell my house without my neighbour knowing until we were ready to exchange. It is possible.

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cordeliavorkosigan · 22/06/2017 07:38

I think you can declare a vehicle stored on private land and untaxed, so yes you could park your car on the street, leave an old untaxed car there and have done with it.

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GivePeasAGo · 22/06/2017 07:40

Parking bollards? I know how stressful this can be but best thing is to act like they don't faze you and secretly laugh at their stupidity and desperation.

I would personally send a written email to the officers in charge updating them on the new method of harassment and state how disappointed you are that they chose not to take the previous into account (bullet point them). Then state your concerns that this will only increase when you continue to ignore.

Try to film the tits as they block you purposefully in. Try as someone mentioned to change your mindset and laugh inwardly at their desperate attempts. If you can't park then do so on the road, call the council to remove the cars blocking your drive and ask them for lines to be painted.

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WillowKnicks · 22/06/2017 07:40

I think i remember your previous thread (shared driveway between 3 detached houses... with diagram?).

I can totally understand how livid you are but i was thinking the same as your DH, why not totally change how you react, even if it's just for show.

There is nothing more annoying for people who want to deliberately annoy you than for you to not react in that way. Next time you see them swap their cars (pathetic!) stand at the window, laughing uncontrollably & shouting DH to come & watch the cabaret they are providing especially for you. Bring in other people to see. Roll your eyes & shake your​ head at them & show zero annoyance...easier said than done, i know.

Good luck!

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AtHomeDadGlos · 22/06/2017 07:41

Torch their car.

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GivePeasAGo · 22/06/2017 07:42

Don't try being nice. With people like this they see it as a victory, you being a doormat and desperate. Go for 'you aren't even on my radar' - complete indifference. It will piss them off but pissed off or pleased, they won't stop.

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sparechange · 22/06/2017 07:44

I remember your earlier threads
There are three houses sharing your driveway, with a nice neighbour in between you and the wankers?

I'm afraid I don't have any useful suggestions, other than leasing your driveway to a company that can tow or clamp them when they park like twats

Have you exhausted everything with the police? Although it doesn't sound like the wankers paid much attention to the police previously Sad

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NellieBuff · 22/06/2017 07:44

Choose the old banger solution. If it is on your private land and declare it as such it does not need to be taxed (I think a previous poster also said this), and park on the street. You can take their power away by not rising to their behaviour.

The long term solution would be to move or rent the property out. Sorry you are having a rough time though

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Hulder · 22/06/2017 07:45

If the car never left your drive, it wouldn't need to be taxed - you can register it as SORN.

Insurance on an old banger doing less than 10 miles a year must be neglible.

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Supersoaryflappypigeon · 22/06/2017 07:54

I think I remember your posts. What do your other neighbours say? This sounds like a nightmare.

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sparechange · 22/06/2017 08:03

From memory of OP's earlier threads, with diagrams, an Old Banger won't work because she is then breaking the terms of easement agreement which says it should be kept free for twat neighbours and nice neighbours to get in and out of the drive

Parking a banger on it would block the twats in and escalate things further

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DontOpenDeadInside · 22/06/2017 08:15

Can you imagine if you parked on the street for a while? They'd be constantly checking to see if you're going out to move it, if one of them goes out you can go to your car and get something from it, making them stress that you are moving it onto the drive.
When they do their "moving about" I'd go outside to water the plants or something, so they know you know what they are doing and how much it's inconveniencing them.

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NewDayDawning · 22/06/2017 08:17

It sounds as if they will eventually grow tired of parking like this as it's inconvenient for them.
If the don't get any reaction out if you.

If you give them the satisfaction of a reaction then it will have been worth it to them and they will be more motivated to continue.

They sound pathetic and must lead a very sad and petty life.

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 08:19

YEs lovely mumsnetters you have remembered correctly!!!
There has been a couple of other incidents the awful neighbours father called me a fucking bitch and later in the day pulled over his car and swore and shouted at myself and my 13 year old dd, he made a spitting gesture at us. This is when an officer wanted to issue a harassment order but was prevented by a senior officer.
The mantra from the police is deescalate deescalate. I am doing everything they ask of me.
Despite my easement being permanently blocked I still provide an easement for twats unobstructed that they use.
Despite the verbal abuse and threatening behaviour I have never once so much as looked at them 'funny'.
I can't put out an old banger as it would cause problems for nice neighbour and I would loose the moral high ground.

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