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AIBU?

AIBU to ask your advice on wether it's worth taking my Neighbours from hell to court?

658 replies

Totallyattheendofmyrope · 21/06/2017 21:04

I've had threads on here about my neighbours from hell.
We've been threatened, sworn at harassed and our visitors harassed.
We have involved the police who initially wanted to issue a harassment order against said neighbours but were overruled by their superior officer who said " it never ends well in neighbour disputes" Confused
The actual abuse has reduced significantly though we still endure low level harassment.
I'm keeping notes etc as recommended by the police.
I've pushed for mediation and have met with the mediator however neighbours are stalling and I doubt very much they will attend.
Currently the favourite form of harassment is to park their vehicles to make it quite difficult for me to park. I can get in and I can get out but I do dread weekends and I dread coming home as I'm always so anxious about what they will have done and will I be able to get in ok etc.
I have checked my deeds and they are blocking my "easement ' and it states in the deeds that no one is allowed to do anything to hinder another's ingress and egress.
Currently the neighbours are freely enjoying and utilising the easement I honour and provide them with on my land.
So- Aibu to consider starting legal proceedings or am I just feeding into their crazy?
What would you do?

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Sunshinegirl82 · 22/06/2017 18:39

But if you create access on your own land then they won't be able to encroach on it without trespassing? I'd be tempted to see if a solicitor can advise you on what might be possible. It would make life easier when you come to sell too I'd imagine.

The mediator will have the measure of them now hopefully!

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 18:51

They have been escalating their behaviour recently, I think they're trying to goad us to get an excuse to get out of mediation.
I told the mediator today that the only reason I haven't gone to the police about twat calling us a wanker on Saturday is because I am trying to trust in the process of mediation and not create extra discord to inflame the situation, but that I have taken note and if they continue to try to manipulate the process of it breaks down then I will have to explore other routes.

My dh has a theory about why this has all happened initially I thought he was wacko but now I'm not to sure..

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HerBluebiro · 22/06/2017 19:06

What's your dh's theory?

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sodablackcurrant · 22/06/2017 19:12

Where does your DH park?

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 19:16

Dh has to come in my route and pass them all just like me..but he's just out and in less. He's actually agog that people would put themselves through so much shot and hassle to force us into a couple of extra manouveres

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Mustang27 · 22/06/2017 19:31

What's the theory

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sodablackcurrant · 22/06/2017 19:44

Do they "harrass" DH? If they do, how does he deal with it. And if they don't why don't they? He is still parking.

Is this part of the Theory or something?

Very puzzling.

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MrsHarveySpecterV · 22/06/2017 19:56

Why doesn't it bother your DH? Why can't you drive in to avoid the hassle? Why are the neighbours more bothered if you reverse in? What does your DH think caused this initially? Can you either draw a diagram or link to your previous thread? Could you rent your house out again and move into rented yourself if it is affected your mental health to this extent? Sorry for all the questions but I'm baffled about the whole situation after reading your thread.

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ShesNoNormanPace · 22/06/2017 20:02

I can't remember exactly how the diagram went but don't you have a long driveway once you get past the joint bit? Does that run parallel with the road perchance? If so I'm wondering if there's any point in talking to the developer that owns the covenants and/or the council about changing the vehicular access point to your house. Is it the covenants that control the easement?

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sodablackcurrant · 22/06/2017 20:03

MrsHarvey

Me too. I just cannot figure out how the entire situation appears to affect OP and not her DH who takes the same route to park via mad neighbours as she does.

Doesn't make sense to me. But there may be more that we don't know about. Fair enough.

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MrsHarveySpecterV · 22/06/2017 20:09

Soda, exactly that. I'm not getting at OP with my questions I'm just very confused and a bit more info might help to come up with some ideas to help?

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pinkblink · 22/06/2017 20:15

I really need a diagram Confused I can't picture it at all

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 20:30

Every time they have called me names my dh has been away on business....I'm not sure if it's accidental or not Confused
Dh isn't in & out as often as I am - he also doesn't let it bother him i.e.; he would never not go for milk etc he's also a more confident driver so isn't bothered about getting in safely, whereas I worry I'll run into the fence trying to maneuver.
It's just a mental thing really

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 20:33

^^ so dh isn't waiting for them to do something iyswim - whereas I'm always anxious they're going to kick off again especially when he's gone.

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MrsHarveySpecterV · 22/06/2017 20:35

What is your husband's theory that you mentioned before? Could you post a diagram please?

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Mustang27 · 22/06/2017 20:40

So your husbands theory is that he doesn't give a shit and gets in with it so they leave him alone but they know they are making you anxious so are playing on that?

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 20:52

No my dh's theory is a bit wanky tbh...
But here goes...

When twat dh had a go at my dh in March ..it's what kicked it all off.
He was shouting at dh " you think your a big man do you? Your wife's been boasting to my wife what a big man you are? Where's your £100 grand car your wife was boasting about/ my cars worth more than yours".

Are you still with me?Blush ffs

Anyway- this conversation NEVER happened EVER. I have had 2 5 minute convos with this woman in passing.

My dh said at the time that he thought twat wife was jealous of us renovating our house and that he felt that she was bitching and winding her dh up and lying to him about shit to get attention.
Dh' theory is now she's getting her new extension built that things will soon magically resolve themselves and order will be resumed.

Tragic I know..

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sodablackcurrant · 22/06/2017 21:00

DH should be supporting you against mad jealous neighbours.

Why are you posting here and not getting him to sort it out for you.

He sounds like a nice man, but he is not looking at the effect it is having on you.

YOU are the one talking about legal stuff and all that, where is DH does he agree?

Bizarre thread, sorry.

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GoneDownhill · 22/06/2017 21:01

What an awful situation. I hope it get resolved.

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 21:06

What would you have him do soda?

I'm posting here for the same reason everyone does for outside support!
Ideas and perceptions from others outside the situation can be helpful and have been so far!

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 21:10

We've talked about legal- dh's solution would not be passive preferably.
I work with vulnerable people and have serious responsibilities/ when twat dh kicked off I walked away and sat in the car and left my dh to deal with it. I cannot and will not be around aggressive people or situations. Dh conducts himself the same way by association and because I tell him to Wink

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GoneDownhill · 22/06/2017 21:15

I used to work in a job that often meant I was dealing with situations like this with horrible Nieghbours being bastards and I have to agree that sometimes it's almost impossible to solve unless you move. I think trying to live with it is probably the best thing. Hopefully something might come out of the mediation.

BTW if you get to mediation then just stick to the basic facts and don't get drawn into anything more. You don't want them parking on your land and you don't want them parking in a way to make it difficult to get access to you own property. Repeat and repeat again.

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sodablackcurrant · 22/06/2017 21:26

OP it is not up to me.

What would YOU like DH to do to support you?

Sounds like a difficult situation. You want to do one thing, DH wants to approach it differently.

I get the impression that DH would go for it, but you say no do not do that it could cause problems. As if you haven't got hassle enough by now.

I would leave him to deal with it now. You have suffered enough.

Are you controlling what DH would do I wonder, in fear of mad neighbours?

Why not let him try? It cannot be any worse than what is going on at the moment.

I don't understand DH's passivity here. If it were mine he would be over there like a shot if I were being harrassed. I would also have said cool it for a day or two, but after that, no way.

I am not talking physical violence here at all. But bullies need to be confronted or you will forever be bullied.

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PoisonousSmurf · 22/06/2017 21:30

You say the police won't deal with them. Are the crazy NDNs like little barky dogs. Making a lot of noise but not biting?
Next time you are outside and they start having a go at you, make sure you are in full view of your CCTV and go up to them.
Don't say a word, don't react, give them your best poker face.
Stare them out. If he or she hits you, then you have all the evidence you need and they will be arrested on the spot.
Sometimes you need courage.
Failing that, make a stinkbomb and chuck i through their letterbox when they are out at work.
There is only so much they can do to you. But the moment they lay a finger on you, they are dead meat!

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buntingqueen · 22/06/2017 22:00

No advice for you OP, but I just want to massively sympathise. I have problems with my neighbours, and I absolutely dread leaving my house (the school run literally terrifies me, in case I bump in to them), and I drive very slowly approaching my house, in case they are outside. I often have to make up excuses to my kids as to why we have parked up/turned around and driven away. I literally shake if I hear or see them, whether they are outside my property or not. The police have been amazing for us, but it doesn't take away the fear, and can't stop them glaring at me. Like you, all I want to do is move, but it isn't possible at the moment. I'm so so sorry for you. 😢

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