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AIBU?

AIBU to ask your advice on wether it's worth taking my Neighbours from hell to court?

658 replies

Totallyattheendofmyrope · 21/06/2017 21:04

I've had threads on here about my neighbours from hell.
We've been threatened, sworn at harassed and our visitors harassed.
We have involved the police who initially wanted to issue a harassment order against said neighbours but were overruled by their superior officer who said " it never ends well in neighbour disputes" Confused
The actual abuse has reduced significantly though we still endure low level harassment.
I'm keeping notes etc as recommended by the police.
I've pushed for mediation and have met with the mediator however neighbours are stalling and I doubt very much they will attend.
Currently the favourite form of harassment is to park their vehicles to make it quite difficult for me to park. I can get in and I can get out but I do dread weekends and I dread coming home as I'm always so anxious about what they will have done and will I be able to get in ok etc.
I have checked my deeds and they are blocking my "easement ' and it states in the deeds that no one is allowed to do anything to hinder another's ingress and egress.
Currently the neighbours are freely enjoying and utilising the easement I honour and provide them with on my land.
So- Aibu to consider starting legal proceedings or am I just feeding into their crazy?
What would you do?

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Foxysoxy01 · 22/06/2017 09:47

I think realistically the only thing you can do is to stop participating in their games.

You need to park out on the road and just completely ignore them, smile sweetly and treat them like an errant toddler.

If you rise above it all and stop putting yourself in the situation they are creating then life will be so much easier and more pleasant for you whilst really pissing your neighbors off.

Basically you need to take away their toy which is you, your DH and your reaction.

If this means putting plant pots/old banger/storage for mates on your drive then to be brutally honest your DH will just have to suck it up or he can continue to allow the situation to escalate and put you directly in the centre of the dispute because he doesn't like the idea of 'allowing the bullies to win'

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peaceout · 22/06/2017 09:48

I would park somewhere else
And walk or cycle instead of driving

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ExplodedCloud · 22/06/2017 09:50

As everyone says, don't get solicitors involved. From experience the law on this sort of thing assumes people will act even halfway reasonably and struggles with batshit behaviour.
As with relationships it's impossible to reason with people like this and being no or low contact is the only way to preserve your sanity. Your best bet is to park somewhere else and use pots, screening eye to keep your drive off limits.
Every house is saleable at the right price so you could move in 2 years but it may affect your price.
You have my sympathy as I've been caught up with an unhinged neighbour.

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Oblomov17 · 22/06/2017 09:50

Yes, I now remember your old thread.
Op, this is no good. Re-arranging your life and not going to get milk. This is just no good. Poor, poor you.
I really don't know what to suggest, but this is no way to live. You must talk to your Dh. Move. Or do something. But this is just not ON.
Sad

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 09:51

I really think the only reason we've not been on the receiving end of more physical and verbal aggression is because we called the police immediately as soon as the twat dh became violent (thank you mumsnet) and also because we fitted the cctv.'
I also accept the advice of the police was correct - I feel like if we'd parked our car at the end of our property line (I've wanted to at times) then...well crazy lies that way. So I could be in a lot worse predicament.
The officer who first came out is keeping an interest despite it being passed over to the pcso and has come to check on me which I greatly appreciate me. I know he believes me and he knows I have been honest and am without blame. He told me I have to be whiter than white and not do anything to give them an excuse so I don't want to blow that support by messing up iyswim?

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peaceout · 22/06/2017 09:52

Totally let go of the need to teach them a lesson, they are getting a kick out of all your moves, it's like a big game of parking chess to them, where they score extra points with every interaction and reaction from you

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 10:01

For those of you who've asked what I've done (reasonable question Smile)...
My house was rented out for 7 years - my nice neighbours have rented next doors for 1 year prior to me coming home but it was rented out to other tenants for the previous 5 years. The tears bought 3 years ago.
Upon returning home it quickly became apparent that nobody knew the property lines and parking was a nightmare for EVERYBODY.
I asked nice ndn to please stop parking blocking my car on my property- she did but was pissed. (I've since been to see the management company and confirmed to me that they told her this. They've apologised and told me that they'll let the next tenants know up front so I don't have to deal with it).
it caused bad feeling and I think twat ndn feel that I've come back and nodded them around/ or they just don't like me- insert either.
When ndn test was having go at dh he was shouting about money Confused laughing st dh's car and saying his was better it's all a bit cringey.... I'm a bit embarrassed to type it out..
TBH they just don't like us and think we're twats.

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 10:02

Sorry about the typos

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GU24Mum · 22/06/2017 10:03

It sounds really awful, sorry you're going through it. I'd echo the advice from others not to try a legal route - honestly, they never end well and cost thousands. Even lawyers hate them! Why can't you move for two years? Is it something to do with a fixed mortgage deal? If you're considering the legal route, personally I'd think about the money and consider it better spent on moving if you can't bear living there.

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 10:03

I agree with what everyone is saying about completely blanking them...
How do I do it then?

Do I stop reversing and come in forwards from now on?

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Ginslinger · 22/06/2017 10:04

I just wanted to say that I remembered your first thread and how awful your situation is. We had a short period of having awful neighbours but nothing like as bad as yours - we killed them with kindness, which they hated. As previous posters have said I wouldn't go through a formal route at this stage because it would have to be declared when you come to sell. I wish you all the best Flowers

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Ginslinger · 22/06/2017 10:05

how dangerous is it for you to reverse out?

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 10:07

Dh has just left his job to start his own business so all our funds are allocated and we also have a fixed mortgage..to be honest we would incur the cost of that to move if it wasn't for the dh's start up.
And just to add to it - I've recently left full time work to do a degree in another area-/ if we moved now it would seriously impact our 5 year plan.
I really feel like I need to put my big girl pants on and find a way to deal with this productively for me.

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growinganotherhead · 22/06/2017 10:10

I would be inclined to video their shenanigans, speed it up a bit and add some Benny Hill type music. Then post it on you tube with lots of incredulous comments and laughter in the background Grin

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AgathaF · 22/06/2017 10:15

I think that you should go with parking on the street, although not all the time. Do it randomly so they don't detect any pattern. It will make their car shuffling shenanigans pointless if it is not inconveniencing you, and allow you to take back some control. I appreciate that your DH isn't in favour of this, but really you are the one who is struggling and not him, so if this solution helps you out a little, then you should go with it.

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peaceout · 22/06/2017 10:16

These people are pain in the ass crass pond life trash, but they've got you on their radar
Trying to get one over won't work
If you could somehow get off their radar they might focus the crazy on someone else, hopefully someone who will be in a position to administer appropriate punishment

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Totallyattheendofmyrope · 22/06/2017 10:16

The thing is... they are ludicrous.
Yesterday she blocked in her own builders - she parked in her normal twatty way blocking the shared turning area and her two builders vans had to squeeze into a tiny area...while she had about 7 foot of clear drive behind her???

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SnowBallsAreHere · 22/06/2017 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DJBaggySmalls · 22/06/2017 10:20

Contact the local council traffic dept. They cant legally block a public highway. If you can send them photos they make even send out a traffic warden and slap a ticket on them.

And make a complaint to the local police. You asked for help and were overruled.

You can report anti social behaviour online; www.gov.uk/report-crime-anti-social-behaviour

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Trollspoopglitter · 22/06/2017 10:25

You park on the street.

Your DH can't tell you to deal with it and then tell you he doesn't like the solution you've come up with.

They might de escalate if they feel they've "won" by forcing you to park on the street.

If you could afford it, I would head fuck them (they already think you're "rich") by buying a second cheap car to used daily, park that on the street around the corner and keep my lovely car on the drive. I'd even get into my lovely car every once in a while pretending to try to get off the drive, look upset and walk to my old "banger" on street. Let the twats feel like they've "won"

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kali110 · 22/06/2017 10:30

Think if anymore happen id be pushing the police for action. Id be complaining. How is this accrptable?

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ExplodedCloud · 22/06/2017 10:31

Baggy it's private land I believe so council won't help.

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FemaleDilbert · 22/06/2017 10:39

Does anyone have a link to the previous thread? Struggling to get my head round this

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sodablackcurrant · 22/06/2017 10:44

This sounds awful.

Am I wrong in thinking that it seems to be only YOU affected by batshit crazy nds? Why is your husband not affected, where does he park, could you swop over and let HIM deal with mad neighbours?

Apologies if you have already explained this.

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CouldntMakeThisShitUp · 22/06/2017 11:53

The mantra from the police is deescalate deescalate. I am doing everything they ask of me

Who says YOU cannot escalate this until it gets dealt with by the police?
That senior officer is a bell end - and he should know better than to turn away a woman facing this sort of abuse.
One police officer knew there IS something that can be done to help you - so don't be put off pursuing this.

last night I wouldn't go get milk , I've taken to rearranging my whole life to leave when they'll be out and I resist leaving the house at weekends because I dread coming home

This is what you need to add to your police report - their actions are now impacting on your mental health and wellbeing.

I have to be mentally prepared for the fact that they will actively harass me. Their visitors will park in my space...their builders will block me in (1full hour last week)

You do NOT have to put up with this bollocks.
Builders - call their company and complain to the boss.
Then report them to the police.

The only way to deal with dickheads like this is to refuse to back down.
Do you have any cctv on your property?
I'd let it record them escalating their abuse, nice way for them to damn themselves.

i'd also get a kick out of listing their car for sale in the free ads/papers for a ridiculously low price (do you have their phone number?) - knowing they will be getting inundated with calls Grin Grin

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