Wibu about DD's skirt?

[KubaLeebre]

DD is 4 and in a small private nursery. Today at drop off, she was showing her key worker her new cotton dress. The key worker said "DD, the first thing we are going to do is put some shorts on you, you like to roll around don't you, and you don't want the boys seeing your knickers!".

I said, "I'm sorry, but I feel that she doesn't need shorts. She's 4, and wearing knickers, so her bits are covered as far as I'm concerned".

Key worker just said "oh, right".

WIBU? I'm annoyed that the worker has been doing this. I don't want my 4 year old DD thinking that she has to "cover up" so that the boys don't see her knickers.

If a child's vulva offends the key worker maybe shes in the wrong line of work

Op yanbu. People need to let children be children and stop sexualising them.

Rapidly why would she see a vulva when the kid is wearing knickers?

Rapidly are you actually being serious?!

For the PP, I can assure that the knickers are well-fitting and sturdy (the one thing I don't mind paying Boden-prices for!)

Rapidly

OP you are not being unreasonable, its ridiculous!

Flashing your knickers while cartwheeling is a rite of passage. That's the reason they are wearing knickers! Girls cartwheeling all over the playground where I work and never an issue. Since when were knickers taboo?

I'd investigate further. Do all the staff hold the same view?

I'd be very unhappy about that - not just your DD being told that she needs to wear unnecessary extra clothing and the implied criticism of her physically active behaviour, but also the gendering. Why demonise "the boys", who I shouldn't think would care less about her knickers? Why set up a gender binary of boys vs girls that governs behaviour among children who may still be blissfully free of all that bullshit?

She will likely soon suggest trousers to combat leg flashing. . .

YANBU!

This would really annoy me. It seems to be a thing now for girls to wear shorts under their summer dresses. Must be very hot and uncomfortable.

Like you say knickers do the job of covering up their bits, why do THEY need to be covered?? Where will it end, will they need another layer to cover the shorts because they're NEXT to the knickers?

I also felt the same re gendering. Her best friend is a little boy, and I'm certain neither of them give a crap about seeing knickers!

The way that she said it made it seem shameful to me, and DD looked a bit sheepish. That suggests to me that it's been commented on before to her, and it upsets me to think that she has felt like this.

And it's not 'flashing' your knickers. FFS. It's just underwear. Flashing implies something naughty about it.

yanbu, it's her body and flashing your knickers at 4, in this context is not unsafe, the covering up is based upon keyworker's individual opinion of what is appropriate, which is not something that should be enforced on a child that isn't their own.

YY to paddock

It's one thing to say that showing your underwear isn't socially acceptable. It's another to say that boys shouldn't have to see girls' underwear.

Also, the nursery should either have a policy about dress-code which should apply to girls and boys and remind you about it directly instead of passive-aggressively indirectly telling you via your child that her clothes don't comply with their policy. Or leave it up to the parents to decide.

Airy dresses are so comfy in hot weather it's a shame that it's not the norm for boys to wear them.

So, should I have a chat with the manager about it? On the one had, it's something I feel strongly about, but on the other, im wary of "making a fuss".

I would have a chat with the manager.

And wear your skimpiest clothes. There is NO SHAME in a woman's body.

Or a girl's body.

Raise it, the more we can stop the gendering at an early age the easier it will get when they are older.