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AIBU?

Wibu about DD's skirt?

283 replies

KubaLeebre · 15/06/2017 09:22

DD is 4 and in a small private nursery. Today at drop off, she was showing her key worker her new cotton dress. The key worker said "DD, the first thing we are going to do is put some shorts on you, you like to roll around don't you, and you don't want the boys seeing your knickers!".

I said, "I'm sorry, but I feel that she doesn't need shorts. She's 4, and wearing knickers, so her bits are covered as far as I'm concerned".

Key worker just said "oh, right".

WIBU? I'm annoyed that the worker has been doing this. I don't want my 4 year old DD thinking that she has to "cover up" so that the boys don't see her knickers.

OP posts:
RapidlyOscillating · 15/06/2017 09:28

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kaytee87 · 15/06/2017 09:29

If a child's vulva offends the key worker maybe shes in the wrong line of work Hmm

kaytee87 · 15/06/2017 09:30

Op yanbu. People need to let children be children and stop sexualising them.

Tazerface · 15/06/2017 09:30

Rapidly why would she see a vulva when the kid is wearing knickers?

curuncule · 15/06/2017 09:31

Rapidly are you actually being serious?! Hmm

RapidlyOscillating · 15/06/2017 09:32

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KubaLeebre · 15/06/2017 09:33

For the PP, I can assure that the knickers are well-fitting and sturdy (the one thing I don't mind paying Boden-prices for!)

OP posts:
RapidlyOscillating · 15/06/2017 09:33

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RapidlyOscillating · 15/06/2017 09:33

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JustMumNowNotMe · 15/06/2017 09:34

Rapidly Confused

OP you are not being unreasonable, its ridiculous!

YorkieDorkie · 15/06/2017 09:37

Flashing your knickers while cartwheeling is a rite of passage. That's the reason they are wearing knickers! Girls cartwheeling all over the playground where I work and never an issue. Since when were knickers taboo?

Silverstreaks · 15/06/2017 09:40

I'd investigate further. Do all the staff hold the same view?

TaurielTest · 15/06/2017 09:40

I'd be very unhappy about that - not just your DD being told that she needs to wear unnecessary extra clothing and the implied criticism of her physically active behaviour, but also the gendering. Why demonise "the boys", who I shouldn't think would care less about her knickers? Why set up a gender binary of boys vs girls that governs behaviour among children who may still be blissfully free of all that bullshit?

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 15/06/2017 09:43

She will likely soon suggest trousers to combat leg flashing. . .

MiaowTheCat · 15/06/2017 09:44

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Dancergirl · 15/06/2017 09:46

YANBU!

This would really annoy me. It seems to be a thing now for girls to wear shorts under their summer dresses. Must be very hot and uncomfortable.

Like you say knickers do the job of covering up their bits, why do THEY need to be covered?? Where will it end, will they need another layer to cover the shorts because they're NEXT to the knickers? Grin

KubaLeebre · 15/06/2017 09:46

I also felt the same re gendering. Her best friend is a little boy, and I'm certain neither of them give a crap about seeing knickers!

The way that she said it made it seem shameful to me, and DD looked a bit sheepish. That suggests to me that it's been commented on before to her, and it upsets me to think that she has felt like this.

OP posts:
Dancergirl · 15/06/2017 09:47

And it's not 'flashing' your knickers. FFS. It's just underwear. Flashing implies something naughty about it.

absolutelynot · 15/06/2017 09:48

yanbu, it's her body and flashing your knickers at 4, in this context is not unsafe, the covering up is based upon keyworker's individual opinion of what is appropriate, which is not something that should be enforced on a child that isn't their own.

rogueantimatter · 15/06/2017 09:49

YY to paddock

It's one thing to say that showing your underwear isn't socially acceptable. It's another to say that boys shouldn't have to see girls' underwear.

Also, the nursery should either have a policy about dress-code which should apply to girls and boys and remind you about it directly instead of passive-aggressively indirectly telling you via your child that her clothes don't comply with their policy. Or leave it up to the parents to decide.

rogueantimatter · 15/06/2017 09:52

Airy dresses are so comfy in hot weather it's a shame that it's not the norm for boys to wear them.

KubaLeebre · 15/06/2017 09:52

So, should I have a chat with the manager about it? On the one had, it's something I feel strongly about, but on the other, im wary of "making a fuss".

OP posts:
NeverEverAnythingEver · 15/06/2017 09:57

I would have a chat with the manager.

And wear your skimpiest clothes. Wink Grin There is NO SHAME in a woman's body.

NeverEverAnythingEver · 15/06/2017 09:58

Or a girl's body. Grin

BaronessEllaSaturday · 15/06/2017 09:59

Raise it, the more we can stop the gendering at an early age the easier it will get when they are older.

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