Wibu about DD's skirt?

[KubaLeebre]

DD is 4 and in a small private nursery. Today at drop off, she was showing her key worker her new cotton dress. The key worker said "DD, the first thing we are going to do is put some shorts on you, you like to roll around don't you, and you don't want the boys seeing your knickers!".

I said, "I'm sorry, but I feel that she doesn't need shorts. She's 4, and wearing knickers, so her bits are covered as far as I'm concerned".

Key worker just said "oh, right".

WIBU? I'm annoyed that the worker has been doing this. I don't want my 4 year old DD thinking that she has to "cover up" so that the boys don't see her knickers.

Supra 8 is the standard age at which boy children are not allowed into the ladies. Left to their own devices without adults stage whispering about boys seeing your knickers etc I'd say the "magical switch" flips at about 7 or 8...

Most neurologically typical kids stop wandering about naked at home (say from bedroom to bathroom) somewhere between age 7 and 9 I think, where parents haven't made an issue of it (earlier if parents have always insisted on dressing gowns or getting dressed and undressed in the bathroom, or in a particularly cold house!)

drinking

That's good to know.

Telling a girl to cover up before 8 is inappropriate. A boy seeing her after 8 is the boy's fault.

Thanks for being so clear cut.

noeffing my dds lived in jersey striped dresses from Boden and the like when they were of nursery age. Cool and comfortable, much easier to grab one item of clothing rather than two when dressing your toddler/preschooler and nothing uncomfortable round their waist. Their clothing never stopped them from running about and playing.

I'm with you on this op. I would be livid if someone told my dd to cover herself up at 4.

There is no need for "modesty shorts". And play suits are ok until your dd needs to go to the toilet. I find there are too many buttons to unfasten and fasten and dd pretty much has to strip to go to the toilet.

they become aware due to being constantly told not to show their knickers

This. Absolutely this.

I was told by midday supervisor in our school (infants) that the girls had been told not to play on the monkey bars because they were showing their knickers. What utter twaddle. Not only does it shame girls, it also suggests that boys are unable to control themselves.

Why is it ok for them all to get changed together for PE but not to reveal their knickers for a split second during playtime??! Crazy.

I really hate the term "modesty shorts". Shorts are shorts. The suggestion that girls must be "modest" is surely putting us back 150 years.

Clearly you have superhuman powers to read what nobody's written Supra - have you come to the thread with an agenda of your own for some reason?

dancergirl lucky for your girls. I was not alliwed to wear trousers at all as a child, and found dresses restrictingand definitely cold and uncomfortable in the winter.
Adults were always telling us to sit in a certain way, how to bend over, etc. Perhaps none of that matters to you, but it certainly did when I was growing up.

Like it or not dresses and skirts are not suitable school wear for young children.

They are not designed for climbing, rolling and general 'ruff and tumble' They are designed for sitting nicely and looking pretty, hence why boys don't wear them.

I wish more schools would have unisex uniforms, of shorts or trousers for primary school pupils.

All that said, my 4yo DD lives for her gingham school dresses!

I couldn't care less about seeing girls knickers but I told a child who kept making a fuss about seeing them to stop being so silly and their parents have put in a formal complaint about me, so basically whatever school and/or nursery staff do we are wrong.

Update: spoke to the manager who was great. I asked whether there was an issue with what DD had been wearing, and she said not at all. I mentioned the shorts comment from key worker, and she was quite shocked and said she would have a sensitive word.

To the previous poster - yup, I consider a light cotton dress perfect attire for this weather. Many schools clearly agree with me as they are a staple of school girls' summer uniform

My post obviously went over your head.

I know they are a uniform staple (did you miss the part where I said my own DD wears them?) just pointing out that are out of date and not particularly fit for purpose.

I wasn't critizing you, so right back at you.

*they are

Okay, we'll agree to disagree on that point.

We are asked at DDs preschool that they wear cycling shorts under dresses because it can uncomfortable if they go in the sand pit etc and get bits in their knickers. Could it be to do with this, but just clumsily worded?

To be fair I could have been clearer that my post was just general wittering about my thoughts on girls' uniform, rather than about your OP.

Also I would have handled said comments from nursery just as you have, so not much to disagree about really

What can you not do in a light summer dress during summer?

It's also funny how "unisex" clothes are always traditionally male clothes.

So sad Dd (13) has always preferred dresses and skirts to trousers and shorts. She says there are seams on trousers that always dig in - she just about copes with leggings. She also gets frequent urinary infectons if she wears trousers - skirts allow more air to circulate. She has always worn decent cotton knickers and has never had any problems or complaints.
Let children be children IMO!

It isn't about sexuality, it is about dignity.Underwear is not supposed to be seen and most people would feel degraded by their underwear being on display.
As a carer for someone with dementia for example , Would it be ok to allow them to walk about in public with undies on display? Of course not ! So maybe it is up to carers of people young and old to afford them dignity even though the person has no awareness themselves?

It's also pretty undignified to have an adult male all your decisions about where you go and what you eat. But that's what we do for children.

There's lots of things that children do that would be inappropriate for an adult. This is a pretty well accepted situation