Wibu about DD's skirt?

[KubaLeebre]

DD is 4 and in a small private nursery. Today at drop off, she was showing her key worker her new cotton dress. The key worker said "DD, the first thing we are going to do is put some shorts on you, you like to roll around don't you, and you don't want the boys seeing your knickers!".

I said, "I'm sorry, but I feel that she doesn't need shorts. She's 4, and wearing knickers, so her bits are covered as far as I'm concerned".

Key worker just said "oh, right".

WIBU? I'm annoyed that the worker has been doing this. I don't want my 4 year old DD thinking that she has to "cover up" so that the boys don't see her knickers.

suntrapped there is a BIG difference between underwear being on display for the few seconds it takes to do a cartwheel or shift position, and walking around in your underwear.

Why is it ok for women to deliberately show their bra straps these days? I have much more of an issue with that rather than a small children showing their underwear for a few seconds

Oh no not the bra straps

How would you feel about 4-year old boys at nursery only wearing tshirts and briefs instead of shorts?

I'd be totally fine with it. They're FOUR! Crikey, in this warm weather, strip 'em down and let them be free!

My 8 yo son still gets changed for swimming with the whole class and as far as I am aware there is no issue at all about seeing underwear or bodies or anything.

Gasp!!

The point is: bra strap on display all day on a woman: ok. Small child's underwear on display for a few seconds: not ok. Madness.

No you said you had more of a problem with it.

Why is it a problem At all

I had a missed call from DD(5)'s teacher the other day. Called back in a panic thinking there had been an injury. No. It was just that DD had forgotten to tell me she needed her swimming costume, but it was alright as she'd said DD should strip down to her knickers so she could play with water in the playground for the afternoon with the others. And not to worry as she'd given her suncream.

The key worker is being ridiculous.

Perhaps I didn't explain myself very well. I personally don't like the visible bra strap look, same as I don't like teenage boys with their trousers half down and pants on show. More a style thing than a modesty thing I suppose. But I get it's socially acceptable these days.

YANBU. I'd be raging.

I'd be really annoyed. She's four ffs. And if a child's vulva is so offensive (though how would you ever see it!) you're definitely in the wrongness line of work. Most four year olds still need help with bum wiping that's their job

YANBU. If I wanted my child in shorts I would have dressed her JUST in shorts. No way would I want her to be sweating all day around her privates just so somebody doesn't catch a glimpse of her knickers.

You know what I never thought about it. If any boy pointed at my girls knickers the embarrassment they would feel they would probably stop doing cart wheels. If they have always put shorts on her on days she was wearing a dress and she feels comfortable to play around in. Take the shorts away would she be bothered if they saw her knickers.

My 8 yo son still gets changed for swimming with the whole class and as far as I am aware there is no issue at all about seeing underwear or bodies or anything.

I think it depends on the leisure centre some places have separate sex changing rooms. My local leisure centre don't its unisex when I went swimming with the school boys and girls were separated.

"But can we please rain the fires of hell down in boys who lift girls skirts to see their knickers?"

This.

At my local primary, the kids get changed for pe in the same room until they are in year 4 (so about 8) and they don't think anything of it. Wow betide anyone who lifts a skirt or pulls down trousers though. The difference being one is just getting changed, the other is to upset and humiliate someone. Totally agree with it.

if you didn't have your PE kit with you, you did PE in your vest & knickers/pants. Nobody seemed to have any concerns about the visibility of underwear then.

Speak for yourself.

I remember when I was at primary school in the late 70s/early 80s, at playtime we girls used to do handstands against the wall. We had to do it in pairs though, as it was one person's job to hold up the other's skirt while she was upside down to preserve modesty in front of the boys.

We'd often go straight back after break to do PE in vest and pants with the same boys

We did PE in our vest / knickers at infant school... sooo 25 years ago when I was 5

On really hot days our nursery lets all the kids strip down to their pants to play in the paddling pool. So far they seem in traumatised!

I remember my daughter when she was 4 didn't want to poo. It took me up to 3 days to persuade her to poo and I tried everything. My other daughter when she was 3 she wanted to wear her coat where ever she went all year round. All kids are different my oldest daughter never gave 2 hoots who saw her knickers and my son.

I haven't read this yet on here that all children are individuals and they all have there preferences. I remember my dad stripping me down to my knickers and made me go out and play in the garden. I didn't like that one bit.

Horrid I'm talking about school, not swim classes at a pool.
They have a pool at school.

I out shorts on under my daughters dress for that reason. I dont want people seeing her in her knickers. I believe in a bit of modesty and best to teach them whilst small. Ny boys would have their underwear covered too. But i am obviously in the minority.

Its warm now where we are and I frequently go to collect my youngest from kindergarten to discover most of the children of both sexes (aged 3-7) either in swim wear, just knickers/ underpants or totally stark naked, playing with the old fashioned style water pump in the garden which is surrounded by sand and pebbles, and often engaged in a spontaneous group project to build a river/ canal/ castle with moat etc.

Its a bit of a pita having to wait for dc3 to get dry and dressed before we can go to get dc2, but that's the only problem. They all have such a lot of fun doing what children do in warm weather. I'm sometimes glad it's a bit backwards where we live (not UK) :o