Not a single reply to invites - should I cancel?

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

I moved house recently into a lovely little road of 24 houses. It's a very well established area, and I thought it might be a nice idea to get to meet all the neighbours by inviting them to drinks and tea in the garden on 25th June

Thing is, it's a fortnight now since I put the invitations through the doors and I've not had even one reply (I've not upset them, honest ... I haven't been here long enough, even if I'd wanted to )

I absolutely get that folk are busy and that not everyone RSVP's these days, but since I've not had even one reply I'm wondering if I should just forget the whole thing - I really don't want to decorate the garden, make tea for a crowd and then be sitting here alone

Please can anyone advise the best thing to do?

Bit rude of them not to RSVP seeing as you'd provided a reply card and everything. I'd probably go ahead and hold the party. If no one turns up just channel your inner Miss Havisham, spurned by neighbours rather than your betrothed. Wander the cul de sac forever more in your floral summer frock. A moulding cucumber sandwich in your hand and a haunted look in your eye.

You sound like a lovely neighbour op their missing out

Well I'd love that if neighbours invited us. How rude!
It's not hard to post a note is it?

I think you've had a few reasons on this thread: people saying they won't commit in advance, the poster who said (rather pompously) "Sunday is family day", another who said they'd want to see who else is going first. And another who said they're shy, and others who say it sounds formal.

What rude meanies! I would have come, OP, and brought a pot plant with me.

4 weeks notice for some drinks and nibbles in the garden for your neighbour is a bit OTT, and even then it's still 2 weeks away, if they haven't lost/forgotten about the invitation by now it's still pretty early to plan your life around an informal get together this far in advance.

OP, what were the envelopes you sent them in like? Were they printed and addressed to the householder or similar? A lot of junk mail comes addressed like that so a lot of people would have put it in the bin without looking.

And I also think it is a lovely gesture and would have loved to come!

OP you sound lovely, but I agree with PP that sending out invites a month ahead for something that should be a fairly informal gathering, with RSVPs requested 2 weeks before...may scare some people off. It has perhaps given the impression that the event is terribly formal.

I think most people would prefer to RSVP a bit closer to the event, e.g. a few days before. Better still for an informal neighbourly tea party I would prefer not to have to provide a formal rsvp at all, but just catch the neighbour in the street while putting the bins out or something, to say thanks for the invite and confirm attendance!

Personally I would go ahead with the party, but draft in a few friends & family just in case. You might find some of your neighbours decide to turn up despite not Rsvp-ing.

how mean!

but agree with If I got your invitation I'd be a bit unsure. I don't know you, I don't know who else is going to be there. It could be really good fun or it might be awful

it would really stress me actually!!

I would have RSVPd immediately that I couldn't make it, then spent the next few weeks skulking about avoiding you.

I get exactly how you feel. I sent out invites to my birthday party and its not until I've asked people if they're coming that they said yes/no. No one actually messaged me 'thanks for the invite I can/t come' it's been massively stressful wondering if people will even show up.

OP - Sorry for not reading the whole thread just yet but I think that it is really bloody rude not to reply after someone has tried to arrange a really nice gathering.

I wish I was your neighbour because your idea sounds great.

Send round a reminder. "A gentle reminder about the party in my back garden on . . It would be great if you could pop in for 10 minutes. I've ordered sunshine specially An RSVP will ensure I get enough drinks in, here's my number again".
And get a couple of good friends/family round early to get things started and create some noise so it's not too awkward.

Perhaps your neighbours don't get along? If I'd received such an invitation, I'd not be going. I'd assume you'd also invited The Knobheads Next-door and Cheeky Feckers Across the Street. There's no way I could be making jollies with them in someone else's garden. However, I probably would have replied (eventually) sending my regrets and wishing you well in your new home.

I wouldn't go either, I have to say.

I have no inclination to being friends with the people on my street.

I would tell you I couldn't go, though!

Plant a pampas grass, instal a hot tub and and make plenty of mentions of sausages on the barbecue.

The neighbours will be swarming round.

Are you Hyacinth Bucket?

Another thought- how did you word the invitation?

'Let's get merry and have fun up my back garden' may have a few of your neighbours curtain twitching and pearl grabbing instead of replying .

I would invite a few of your friends as back up so you can still have a good time.

Can you invite some other friends so you can still have a nice time if no one does come, but of they do you are not just sat there?

I just don't have time for this sort of thing.

If I had all the time in the world maybe. But people are busy and need to choose how to divi up their energy and life etc.

How nice Is this the prevalent attitude nowadays? Poor OP if she has moved into a street of very busy people.