Not a single reply to invites - should I cancel?

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

I moved house recently into a lovely little road of 24 houses. It's a very well established area, and I thought it might be a nice idea to get to meet all the neighbours by inviting them to drinks and tea in the garden on 25th June

Thing is, it's a fortnight now since I put the invitations through the doors and I've not had even one reply (I've not upset them, honest ... I haven't been here long enough, even if I'd wanted to )

I absolutely get that folk are busy and that not everyone RSVP's these days, but since I've not had even one reply I'm wondering if I should just forget the whole thing - I really don't want to decorate the garden, make tea for a crowd and then be sitting here alone

Please can anyone advise the best thing to do?

Oh cross posts, I see you did put RSVP. I think people will just turn up on the day tbh.

Xpost

Go and ask the neighbours who said it was a good idea! But rude of them to encourage you (unless they were doing the British thing of telling you it's a great idea because they don't want you to be upset you had a bad idea!!) and then not even RSVP

RSVP still seems a bit formal for drinks and nibbles in the garden?

You're right, but that's why I gave my hone number on the invite itself. The RSVP card was in case some might feel uncomfortable calling someone they don't know - I wanted to give them as much choice as possible

So glad I'm not being totally unreasonable in feeling a bit ruffled about it, though ...

I think some people are like StarCrossdSkys on previous page who think, "Who else is going?" and don't commit unless they can be sure it's going to be in their comfort zone. Shame really.

Well if you were my neighbor I'd be delighted to accept

Perhaps none of them speak French/dislike the French/had ancestors who didn't fare too well at Waterloo/Trafalger/etc. or they're all related to White Russians?

Could be they're all Druids planning a massive bender for the summer solstice and doubt they'll have recovered by the 25th.

They might all be members of an obscure religous sect that has an almanac with the 24th as the day that a hitherto, unknown and humungous asteroid, slams into Planet Earth and throws lots of dirt & water into the air, ruining their party clothes....

I think people will come , but part of the problem might be the length of time between invitation and event. Normally for something more casual you would send out invitations close to the day, not more than a week in advance, so people may be waiting to see if they are free that day, or might have forgotten, as it would have been weeks away when they received the invitation. I think asking around closer to the time might be more likely to get a response?

Leave it till the week before then decide. If you do go ahead buy stuff that will keep if not many turn up.

I think it was a nice thing to do and the neighbours are a bit rude for not replying. Don't cancel OP, I bet some of them will just turn up. I hope it goes ok

In fact, they may be waiting to see what the weather is going to be like? Don't want to commit if it's going to be raining.

Rude, but maybe they don't know each other, or maybe there has been an argument in the road or one of them isn't very pleasant.

I must admit OP I would be breaking out in a sweat if I received something like this. I would feel obliged to go but I wouldn't really want to. I would want to speak to a neighbour casually (hello over the garden fence type thing) before being invited to their house. I accept that I am a bit weird though and my idea of an ideal neighbour is strictly casual.

It is very rude not to RSVP, but if you haven't asked to have a reply by a specific date, people might (should) still reply later.

I hate people who wait for a better offer, but it's better if they don't it after replying!
If I have an invit, I reply yes or no immediately, unless I actually want to go but am unsure I will be able to and have to confirm other things first. You can give the benefit of the doubt to others who do the same.

Is there a local fair or other event on that day? Half marathon past the end of the road, local school sports day etc?

And/or I think maybe you gave them a bit to much notice and they've forgotten? A month away for a casual garden get together - could feel a bit OTT?

Did you ask for a reply by X date?

The date I requested for RSVPs was yesterday; granted some might consider that too soon, but then others like to reply before they forget all about it. I know it's usually hard to suit everyone, but really wouldn't have thought nobody would reply?

The folk who live here are a real mix of families, retired and all sorts ... AFAIK they don't appear to be cult members / political fanatics / Francophiles or whatever but who knows? That was the whole point of the idea ... to get to meet them!!

Glad I didn't do this where we used to live.... Big drama when 2 couples split after swinging nights between the neighbours!!
And it was a respectable area!!
Houses sold and 2 went off together!!

I think it's unusual to ask for rsvp for this kind of thing - it's more of a drop in occasion, not a party.

I'd expect people to just turn up, so be prepared for guests but don't go to too much trouble.

they may be waiting to see what the weather is going to be like? Don't want to commit if it's going to be raining

Well yes, but given that the Met Office are hopeless the only alternative there would be to send invites the day before - and then folk would moan about insufficient notice

And there definitely isn't anything happening in the area on the 25th; I checked before choosing the date

I think people just don't want to commit themselves.

I've been given free tickets to see a very famous band in a few months time. Friend was recently unable to go and see same band although ticket had been bought. I emailed them last week to see if they would like to go with me to the gig. No reply. Not even a "thanks, would love to but not sure yet".

I did a similar thing. I invited everyone round for mince pies / Christmas nibbles. Not a single one responded or turned up. I figured it's not that kind of neighbourhood. I then got attitude for not going to a Macmillan cake sale on my birthday a few months later

I wouldn't cancel, people might well just turn up.

it's 2 weeks away yet

i'm sure people will come, if you haven't heard by say Thursday before then maybe pop another note around asking them to confirm either way. They probably are seeing it as a "just pop in", understandable for you to ask them to RSVP but usually these things are more casual than that.

do you ever see any of them to ask/remind/prompt?

Might be a bit of shyness, I suppose every neighbourhood is different too.
Surely having your friends round instead would still be a great housewarming! :)

It is for a Sunday.

We keep Sunday for family, so would be an automatic no here.

It probably is because you asked a month in advance and then expected RSVPs 2 weeks before the big day.

Most people would probably expect a whip round Tesco day of the event, but this sounds like you are planning hors d'oeuvres carried round by uniformed waiting staff. I don't mean to sound nasty but it's perhaps a bit too try-hard for a casual meet the neighbour do - can't you just loiter out the front pretending to do the garden like most people do