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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Elmlea Husband strikes again!

335 replies

ElinorRigby · 10/06/2017 11:30

I posted a few days back about my husband, who was given a shopping list with 'cream' and 'orange juice cartons' on it. He returned with a) Elmlea and b) cartons of orange squash - despite the fact that both of us always have real cream and pure fruit juices.

We had a conversation in which I said if the shop did not stock the products on the list, it was better to return empty-handed.

I asked him to take the squash back and he did so, telling me he'd now go some apple juice in exchange. (In fact he had got multivitamin fruit and carrot juice.)

Yesterday the handle of our smaller bucket snapped. We have one heavy duty bucket - the kind used for outdoor jobs - and the smaller bucket that I use for soaking and handwashing. I said 'Could you get me a small 8 litre bucket while you're out.'

He returned saying he had had to look everywhere in order to find a small bucket. He then showed me quite a large bucket with a label on the side saying '13 litre capacity.'

I said, 'This is too big.'
He said, There weren't any small ones. I went to lots of shops.'
I said, 'Did you get a receipt'
He said, 'No.'

I took the 13 litre bucket back intending to ask for a refund and then order one of the right size from Asda Click and Collect. But the woman at the shop said, 'We do have smaller buckets'. So, because she was being helpful, I got a 7 litre one from the display at the front of the shop.

Is this a '3 strikes and he's out' situation?

OP posts:
pam290358 · 12/06/2017 16:57

Hi again, and thanks to all who supported me. ElinorRigby sent me a private message - we now understand each other, and we're fine. I kind of understand where she's coming from and I explained what provoked my post. She made a fair point that bereaved people have posted in anger on MN in response to trivia and that was what she thought I was doing. From the many kind responses, a lot of you got it, but for those who didn't, let me explain.

Until my husband was taken ill so suddenly, and then taken away from me, I didn't appreciate how life can change so completely in such a short space of time. It came out of the blue with absolutely no warning - he had acute pneumonia and the underlying cause was a tumour which had already spread. No symptoms, no cough, no pain - nothing to indicate that he was so seriously ill until he collapsed, and by then it was too late. Nothing I could do about it and nothing the medics could do to save him. I completely hold my hands up to a total sense of humour failure when I read this post, and I missed the fact that it was supposed to be lighthearted because it didn't seem that way - but I promise you, I did not post in anger or to 'vent'. People die. It's part of life and everyone who is part of a couple has a fifty fifty chance of experiencing the worst kind of bereavement when they lose their life partner. All couples have arguments - Keith and I certainly did - but bereavement puts a different slant on things. Suddenly you can't see, hear, touch or talk to the most important person in your life - and at the very time you need them most, which seems to be the ultimate in irony. The only point I was trying to make was that you should be kind to each other while you can because what happened to me can happen to any of us in a heartbeat.The only reason I disclosed details about my disability, was to make the point that I am not a weak person using the site to let out my frustration, as the OP seemed to be suggesting. I have had numerous difficulties in my life, faced them and overcome them. I will face this too, and I know my husband would want me to go on and rebuild my life when I'm able to. Thanks everyone for your support and please be kind to each other - you never know the minute. Pam

aspoonfulofyourownmedicine · 12/06/2017 17:08

Sorry OP, but I'm surprised he hasn't said 3 lovely little words to you

'Do. It. Yourself'

My husband would've told me to fuck off and get my own if I were to moan and certainly wouldn't return to the shop to return cartons of juice. You sound rather difficult.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 12/06/2017 17:16

Thanks for your update Pam. I found it very moving and honest. You're a wise woman. Wishing you strength and hope and much sympathy Flowers

Anotheroneofthese · 12/06/2017 17:22

The OP's first post could have been considered lighthearted. Her subsequent posts, definitely not.

Pam, all the best with this difficult journey. Your admonition is a good one. Indeed, we forget how life can change in a twinkling of an eye.

Obviouspretzel · 12/06/2017 17:37

@Sapiosexual it doesn't say cream on the label. It says "alternative to cream". And it tastes nothing like cream! It's like margarine is to butter.

WomblingThree · 12/06/2017 17:44

Fucks sake, at least four people have explained what Elmlea is. Why is people's time so important that they a) can't read the fucking thread or b) can't fucking google

senua · 12/06/2017 17:50

I'm glad that pam and elinor have sorted this amicably. Thanks for the update, pam, and best wishes.

ComputerUserNotTrained · 12/06/2017 19:03

Likewise, senua.

babsjonhson · 12/06/2017 20:14

Psychopath

Redredredrose · 12/06/2017 20:34

I must admit, I used to me like you, OP. I like things done a certain way, I like certain brands/types of food and not others, I find it hard to cope of things feel 'wrong'. I used to peck DP's head when he got things 'wrong'. I still do at times but I try really hard not to - it is annoying when people get things 'wrong' but I just started thinking how hurtful it must be to feel like you've fucked up all the time. I love DP to distraction and hate the idea that I was upsetting him by finding fault all the time.

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