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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Elmlea Husband strikes again!

335 replies

ElinorRigby · 10/06/2017 11:30

I posted a few days back about my husband, who was given a shopping list with 'cream' and 'orange juice cartons' on it. He returned with a) Elmlea and b) cartons of orange squash - despite the fact that both of us always have real cream and pure fruit juices.

We had a conversation in which I said if the shop did not stock the products on the list, it was better to return empty-handed.

I asked him to take the squash back and he did so, telling me he'd now go some apple juice in exchange. (In fact he had got multivitamin fruit and carrot juice.)

Yesterday the handle of our smaller bucket snapped. We have one heavy duty bucket - the kind used for outdoor jobs - and the smaller bucket that I use for soaking and handwashing. I said 'Could you get me a small 8 litre bucket while you're out.'

He returned saying he had had to look everywhere in order to find a small bucket. He then showed me quite a large bucket with a label on the side saying '13 litre capacity.'

I said, 'This is too big.'
He said, There weren't any small ones. I went to lots of shops.'
I said, 'Did you get a receipt'
He said, 'No.'

I took the 13 litre bucket back intending to ask for a refund and then order one of the right size from Asda Click and Collect. But the woman at the shop said, 'We do have smaller buckets'. So, because she was being helpful, I got a 7 litre one from the display at the front of the shop.

Is this a '3 strikes and he's out' situation?

OP posts:
BumWad · 10/06/2017 11:55

You come across as a right knob even

TatianaLarina · 10/06/2017 11:56

Many women on here have very low expectations of men.

Apparently it's too much for poor souls to manage to buy the correct item.

MikeUniformMike · 10/06/2017 11:57

Elinor, perhaps you should do the shopping yourself. I'd be pist off too but is it really worth being annoyed over. If you order your shopping online, you'd probably get much worse substitutions.

HunkyDory69 · 10/06/2017 11:57

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Branleuse · 10/06/2017 11:57

poor bloke

NicolasFlamel · 10/06/2017 11:58

Do it yourself?
My mum is like this with my dad. Everything he does is wrong but she never actually does it herself. It's infuriating to watch.

morningconstitutional2017 · 10/06/2017 12:00

I have found that if you want to be particular about things you really have got to get them yourself, rather than expect other people to be mind-readers. Then you have only yourself to blame if it's wrong.

Hmmalittlefishy · 10/06/2017 12:00

You sound mean.
If you are that particular go yourself

McButtonwillow · 10/06/2017 12:02

What?!

Here's a novel idea, why don't you go yourself.

Poor guy Hmm

BeepBeepMOVE · 10/06/2017 12:03

You are treating your husband like a child. You sound very nasty and controlling, I bet your poo DH is developing some awful anxiety issues. Can't do anything right can he.

If you were a man you'd definitely be called abusive.

MiladyThesaurus · 10/06/2017 12:04

I really don't think it is laziness. It's about him not knowing exactly what's in your head.

Not everyone cares about the difference between cream and Elmlea. Just because you always buy cream doesn't mean that he knows that there's a difference. Loads of people don't.

Same with cartons of squash (if it came in cartons, I bet it was juice drink, because squash usually comes in bottles). It may be that the OP's DH doesn't have cause to care about whether the juice is made up from concentrate or not.

As I said, there are lots of details that matter to DH (or the DC) that don't really register with me. It's not that I'm being lazy; it's that the minor things that are very important to him are not important to me. I recently learned that he'd rather not bother than watch the same film on DVD when the bluray wasn't available. He cares about the sound and image quality much more than I do.

Maybe the OP's DH doesn't attach moral superiority to cream over Elmlea and hasn't realised that she does.

Addley · 10/06/2017 12:05

Elmlea pisses me off. You go to the dairy section and look at the milk, and there's own-brand milk and Cravendale - both come in redtop, greentop and bluetop. Cravendale boasts that it lasts longer. Next door, the own-brand cream and Elmlea - they both come in single, red, and double, blue. Elmlea boasts that it lasts longer. I don't scour the Cravendale to check that it's milk, so why would I scour the Elmlea to check it's cream? I really can only assume people are meant to think it's branded cream, and that it's gone through some kind of process to make it last longer. I only know it's not cream because my grandparents used to buy it when I was little and it's rank.

Allthebestnamesareused · 10/06/2017 12:06

Also by your own admission the smaller buckets were "in a display at the front of the shop" so presumably not in the aisle where the other buckets were. Having found the bucket aisle he bought a bucket. How silly of him not to realise that he was supposed to look everywhere else just in case there was a bucket being displayed elsewhere!

Boysnme · 10/06/2017 12:06

So it's ok for you to get a different size bucket and not return empty handed like you told him??

Crispbutty · 10/06/2017 12:07

I would tell you to fuck off if you ever asked me to go shopping for you again, and tell you to get it yourself. Confused

gamerchick · 10/06/2017 12:09

If you're that particular to the point of making him go back then really you should do it yourself. If you were a dude posting about his wife you would b hung drawn and quartered the amount of contempt in your posts Confused Be kind!

CinderellasBroom · 10/06/2017 12:09

I'm with you on this, OP. If he's drinking juice he should know which packet it comes in, and that it's not squash. The cream I can understand more, as if he doesn't actually every use it then he wouldn't have had a chance to see the packet.

And on the bucket, it sounds like he didn't look very hard or ask anyone. Classic example of klutzing out so that you feel you have to do the shopping next time and he doesn't have to (see posters above say 'then do it yourself' - yes, you could, but why should you have to).

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 10/06/2017 12:09

i'd have made him drink the squash....it's all about the consequences.

MiladyThesaurus · 10/06/2017 12:09

DH was confused when I insisted on going with him to get some vanilla from the shop. When we got there he realised that there are more options that he wasn't aware of, and I wanted something very specific. If I'm going to be super picky then I get it myself.

It's not about having low expectations of men. I wouldn't ask MIL (who doesn't cook much) to pick up things in the supermarket if I was sure that it had to be the exact right thing. She's not an idiot or lazy but she might not appreciate my exact preferences.

allegretto · 10/06/2017 12:10

I was going to say you're unreasonable. But my husband buys fruit squash instead of fruit juice too and still doesn't seem to be able to grasp the difference, so you have my sympathy.

TatianaLarina · 10/06/2017 12:10

Oh won't somebody think of the menz!

Poor poor menz who hold down challenging jobs, pursue extreme sports, but can't be expected to take responsibility for the family shopping cuz it's just too hard.

nostringstoholdmedown · 10/06/2017 12:12

Many women on here have very low expectations of men

It's not about low expectations at all. It's about asking someone to buy something specific without being specific.

TheHobbitMum · 10/06/2017 12:13

Seriously? This is Batshit crazy FFS Confused

RhiWrites · 10/06/2017 12:13

I think the husband is the one who sounds like hard work. If she asks for juice, does she rally have to specify not squash?

A lot of you seem to think your husbands are incapable of shopping for food and can only understand man things like electronics.

I'm glad my partner is able to intelligently use initiative and purchase items we need without being micromanaged.

TatianaLarina · 10/06/2017 12:13

She's not an idiot or lazy but she might not appreciate my exact preferences

It's not a question of your preferences but the OP's husbands too. According to OP he too eats cream and drinks fruit juice. There's no reason for him not to get the food he himself consumes, right.

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