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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Elmlea Husband strikes again!

335 replies

ElinorRigby · 10/06/2017 11:30

I posted a few days back about my husband, who was given a shopping list with 'cream' and 'orange juice cartons' on it. He returned with a) Elmlea and b) cartons of orange squash - despite the fact that both of us always have real cream and pure fruit juices.

We had a conversation in which I said if the shop did not stock the products on the list, it was better to return empty-handed.

I asked him to take the squash back and he did so, telling me he'd now go some apple juice in exchange. (In fact he had got multivitamin fruit and carrot juice.)

Yesterday the handle of our smaller bucket snapped. We have one heavy duty bucket - the kind used for outdoor jobs - and the smaller bucket that I use for soaking and handwashing. I said 'Could you get me a small 8 litre bucket while you're out.'

He returned saying he had had to look everywhere in order to find a small bucket. He then showed me quite a large bucket with a label on the side saying '13 litre capacity.'

I said, 'This is too big.'
He said, There weren't any small ones. I went to lots of shops.'
I said, 'Did you get a receipt'
He said, 'No.'

I took the 13 litre bucket back intending to ask for a refund and then order one of the right size from Asda Click and Collect. But the woman at the shop said, 'We do have smaller buckets'. So, because she was being helpful, I got a 7 litre one from the display at the front of the shop.

Is this a '3 strikes and he's out' situation?

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 11/06/2017 16:47

araiwa May I kindly suggest you take your reasonable and rational response elsewhere. The OP is infact a very hard-done-by woman just trying to guide her DH through life's trickier bucket buying turns.

user1496785376 · 11/06/2017 17:22

Sorry if I've missed the answer to this but is there any reason why the OP can't do her own frickin' shopping?

lolalola19 · 11/06/2017 17:47

Poor bloke!

redcaryellowcar · 11/06/2017 17:59

My dh similar to your in as much as won't ask for help from shop assistants nor keep receipts! I'm not sure I can get rid of mine solely on tot up of uselessness, but it's getting close!?

metspengler · 11/06/2017 18:07

"The shop did stock the smaller buckets. When OP went in and asked the assistant. Why didn't he ask the assistant?"

They didn't stock the bucket asked for. They literally didn't, they stocked a bucket smaller than 8l and a bucket bigger than 8l.

It doesn't have to be Bucketgate. I think most people would have bought teh smallest bucket that held 8l, since 8l was mentioned.

frumpyheron · 11/06/2017 18:09

I'm going to be honest I didn't realise Elmlea wasn't cream.

Brittbugs80 · 11/06/2017 18:21

Araiwa spot on about the bucket!

The OP said towards the beginning of the thread that a 13 litre bucket would be too heavy to carry with her handwashing in. Don't think she figured the buckets don't have to be filled to capacity!

littlebrownbag · 11/06/2017 18:23

OP is not controlling, she is frustrated at a DH that does not consider her requests important enough to pay attention to, nor notice what goes on under his nose, or care what his wife wants. Like the poster asking her DP to buy cream to go in a savoury sauce for dinner and coming back with sweetened squirty cream. OP has already said that her DH would not eat Elmlea nor drink the non-juice drink himself, so it is not her being controlling.

It's being respectful and courteous to want to get what your partner wants. Would you get an Aston Villa footie top for a West Ham fan just because they are both the same colours, and think they're close enough?

littlebrownbag · 11/06/2017 18:26

Oh, and maybe she wanted a smaller bucket because that's what fits in the sink or under the tap or in the cupboard under the sink. Does it matter why? She explained what she wanted and presumably if that is the norm in their household, the DH should know why she wanted it!!

makadan600 · 11/06/2017 18:29

Gosh you sound like a nightmare 😮

Snotgobbler99 · 11/06/2017 18:40

Thank fuck you didn't send him for four candles...

Sorry, but it was Ronnie Corbet's memorial service last week.

lozzylizzy · 11/06/2017 18:41

When you next get anything slightly wrong I hope he pulls you apart for it!

keeplooking · 11/06/2017 18:49

Op, this thread could have turned out so differently, if only you'd remembered to put (lighthearted) Smile

Flumplet · 11/06/2017 18:51

I don't understand why you can't use a large bucket with half the amount of water in. My head hurts just reading your post I bet your poor DH's life is a right faff!

Brittbugs80 · 11/06/2017 18:53

Snotgobbler GrinGrin

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 11/06/2017 18:58

This reminds me of the time my mum had splashed out at Christmas and bought some cream for pudding.

My grandmother gasped when she saw it and shrieked,
"ugh, it's UHT cream" like it was poisonous. Grin

pam290358 · 11/06/2017 19:09

My husband of 40 years died of pneumonia with an underlying cause of lung cancer just on 7 weeks ago - 3 days from diagnosis, to being placed on a ventilator and 9 days later he was dead, without uttering another word to me. Elmlea, squash instead of juice and the wrong size bucket ? Really ?????? Is this what you think 3 strikes and you're out is ???? Treat your husband with respect and show him every day how much you love him - he could be taken off you in a heartbeat as mine was, and trust me, you have no idea what it's like until you go through it. Each half of a couple has a fifty fifty chance of experiencing the ultimate in grief - the loss of your life partner. You'd do well to keep this in mind - we all have our minor disputes, but to blow this so out of proportion is nothing short of moronic and you need a serious bite of reality. This life is short and precious - stop wasting it with stupid arguments and grudges that mean nothing and see love for what it is - a gift that you should thank God for every day of your life.

LookMoreCloselier · 11/06/2017 19:11

I buy elmlea because it is really handy to have in the fridge for making creamy sauces etc. While I had read the 'cream substitute' I hadn't given much thought as to what it is. The ingredients list doesn't bother me and I don't mind the taste of it.

In answer to a PP - it does thicken up when whisked but takes a bit longer.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 11/06/2017 19:16

Pam that's so touching and wise. I'm sorry you're grieving Flowers

Brittbugs80 · 11/06/2017 19:17

If this thread was role reversed, she would be advised that her DH was controlling and abusive.

LockedOutOfMN · 11/06/2017 19:27

Agree with littlebrownbag.

ZippingAround · 11/06/2017 19:29

Doesn't beat my dh. I sent him out to get a pack of minced beef & he came home with octopus! No kidding. Wtf was I supposed to do with that? Hmm

Writermom22 · 11/06/2017 19:31

In hindsight, I guess he could've phoned you and asked if you wanted the 13 litre bucket but, hey, give the guy a break. If you are that bothered about him bringing home the wrong stuff, go out and do the shopping yourself.

Decaffstilltastesweird · 11/06/2017 19:35

I just read the op out to my DH and he thought your DH had come back with 13L of orange squash...

muckypup73 · 11/06/2017 19:38

Can you not go and get this stuff yourself? that way you do not have to moan at?