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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or does this look like my husband has contacted an escort for sex??

406 replies

FeellikeLTB · 09/06/2017 20:23

Sorry for rambling but I'm shaking and fuming right now.

Hubby came home today from working abroad and I've just seen this screenshot in his IPad gallery. (Not snooping, daughter and I were scrolling through pics on there from when we last visited)
We are at his mothers for the night and it's the first time he's seen her in 10 months so I don't want to make a scene.
I have confronted him and at first he looked confused like I was showing him a picture of a fucking dog with 3 heads and said "I don't know" Hmm then he said "it's a long story". I told him I didn't want to hear it and I wanted him to drive us home after we'd eaten and he could stay at his mums.
He's now gone upstairs in his old bedroom because he's tired from the flight, bless him Angry And I'm sat downstairs with his mum and sister who hardly speak English entertaining our 6 year old daughter.
I want to smother him with a pillow but I'm not insured to drive the car.
So AIBU to think this is him looking for a shag while he's working away?
And what should I do?

AIBU or does this look like my husband has contacted an escort for sex??
OP posts:
LoveDeathPrizes · 09/06/2017 21:08

To be fair, if it was from a mate as a joke or whatever else his immediate reaction would've been, "Oh god! No! It's totally not what you think." Followed by a two sentence summing up to reassure you. He is bricking it.

Original poster
FeellikeLTB · 09/06/2017 21:08

Looks like the address of the sex worker. There's no web address though so I can't find the website

OP posts:
43percentburnt · 09/06/2017 21:08

Feel, I'm surprised after reading the uk website. I guess the sex trade flourishes everywhere.

what are you meant to be doing this weekend?

You do sound remarkably calm, do you have supportive friends you can lean on?

Original poster
FeellikeLTB · 09/06/2017 21:09

I can't go yet I don't want to cause a scene in front of our daughter

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 09/06/2017 21:10

I'm sorry OP, only one explanation I can think of and it's not good.

Original poster
FeellikeLTB · 09/06/2017 21:10

She thinks we're sleeping here but I'll just tell her we're going home after food, she won't mind she'll prefer to stay at home

OP posts:
43percentburnt · 09/06/2017 21:10

You don't need to cause a scene. Order cab, don't tell anyone, take dd when it arrives.

43percentburnt · 09/06/2017 21:11

Are you far from home?

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 09/06/2017 21:12

If there was an innocent explanation, he would have given it not said, "it's a long story, right I'm off for a nap" Confused
He has shown no respect for you.

How awful to be trapped at his mother's having to pretend everything's normal Sad. I would wake him up and insist he takes you home. Save the shitstorm for when you get home.
You must feel like your world's just imploded x

LoveDeathPrizes · 09/06/2017 21:12

Definitely not something merely for wank-fodder titilation alone as it looks as if he left if another night before he continued the enquiry.

howtopickausername · 09/06/2017 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoveDeathPrizes · 09/06/2017 21:13

Agree with earlynineties. Fight or flight. He'll be up there terrified.

PopcornBits · 09/06/2017 21:13

He's cheating on you. My husband also used to work away and a lot of the men there would go Dubai for escorts.

It's very very common and a lot of wives don't realise their husbands are actually seeing phillipino/Thai women behind their backs.

Original poster
FeellikeLTB · 09/06/2017 21:14

I probably won't tell my friends the whole story, If it comes to it I'll just tell them we've decided to separate because I want to stay here and he wants to stay in the UAE.
I have to take my daughter to her hobby tomorrow and a birthday party on Sunday, nob head is supposed to be coming with us tomorrow but not Sunday. He's only home for a couple of weeks.

OP posts:
user1491260401 · 09/06/2017 21:14

To me it looks like not only was he soliciting a sex worker, but if the comments at the side are other messages he is receiving it looks like he has been messaging women on the off- chance that they might be persuaded to do sex worker (which is why the second one down calls him a pervert and points out she isn't an escort). If so this indicates an appalling attitude towards women in general. Surely you would have noticed if your husband was this misogynistic?

WankStainWasher · 09/06/2017 21:15

Take a taxi home. £40 for cab fare is a helluva lot cheaper than £700 an hour ffs.

Original poster
FeellikeLTB · 09/06/2017 21:15

He's going to be coming down to eat in 15 mins Sad

OP posts:
Madwoman5 · 09/06/2017 21:16

I would be tempted to have a heart to heart with his mum and show her, asking for her view.......

43percentburnt · 09/06/2017 21:17

Are there a lot of guests for dinner? Would you be missed if you said you felt unwell and wanted to go?

Original poster
FeellikeLTB · 09/06/2017 21:17

Wank stain it's 700 dirhams not pounds so around £140, not that it makes much difference

OP posts:
Original poster
FeellikeLTB · 09/06/2017 21:18

43 no there is just me, MIL, SIL, my DD and SIL DD. And the prick upstairs

OP posts:
Georgeofthejungle · 09/06/2017 21:18

I'd go up to 'wake him up' and find out what the hell he is playing at!

minisoksmakehardwork · 09/06/2017 21:18

To me, him 'having a nap' gives him enough time to come up with a plausible explanation of it being 'for a friend' and giving a friend a heads up that this is going on so could friend please confirm the story if asked.

Sadly you are going to have to work out whether you believe him or not and then what your next steps are. TBH if he wants to stay at his mum's, it gives you some time to get home (taxi) and get your documents together. Just don't let on that's what you will be doing. You can have 'some space' or 'time to think/come to terms' with it which will buy you some breathing space.

Original poster
FeellikeLTB · 09/06/2017 21:19

His mum barely speaks English so I can't properly converse with her

OP posts:
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 09/06/2017 21:19

Try to be cool and calm although you want to throw his dinner in his face.
I hope you can get yourself and your daughter home. Insist he pays for a cab.

It might not feel like it but you are going to be ok Flowers