AIBU or does this look like my husband has contacted an escort for sex??

[FeellikeLTB]

Sorry for rambling but I'm shaking and fuming right now.

Hubby came home today from working abroad and I've just seen this screenshot in his IPad gallery. (Not snooping, daughter and I were scrolling through pics on there from when we last visited)
We are at his mothers for the night and it's the first time he's seen her in 10 months so I don't want to make a scene.
I have confronted him and at first he looked confused like I was showing him a picture of a fucking dog with 3 heads and said "I don't know" then he said "it's a long story". I told him I didn't want to hear it and I wanted him to drive us home after we'd eaten and he could stay at his mums.
He's now gone upstairs in his old bedroom because he's tired from the flight, bless him And I'm sat downstairs with his mum and sister who hardly speak English entertaining our 6 year old daughter.
I want to smother him with a pillow but I'm not insured to drive the car.
So AIBU to think this is him looking for a shag while he's working away?
And what should I do?

Btw he didn't stay last night he is back at his mothers

Is there a date on the screenshotted message?

Yes the screenshot I posted at the beginning of the thread

Sorry I misunderstood yes the email was sent on the 26th August the same day as the screenshot message

So, if you were to ring this "mate" right now and ask him he'd corroborate everything? Dearie me, you'd think that having locked himself away for so long he'd have managed to come up with a better story than that!

Should I message the guy on Facebook? I can't call him as I don't know his number and I don't want DH (dick head) to know. I do have his wife's number.

You would be best to go to a dedicated sexual health clinic

Better still, make him go but accompany him to make sure it happens. Nothing like having the end of your knob scraped to focus the mind.

Indeed AF.

Of course his friend will corroborate the 'story', because your DH has already pre-warned him. They know you won't contact the wife, or they may have pre-warned the wife that you've "gone mad" or something.

Quite often the simplest explanation is the one staring us in the face..

The email message could well be contrived to corroborate his story. He is banking on you not trying to confirm and suspect any attempt to do so may conveniently disappear into cyberspace. Thevfriend is not your problem.

No need to contact the friend, ofcourse he is going to corroborate this story, what do you think your husband was doing during his naps?

I would tell the wife.

If you've seen the message and it's the same date then to me it sounds like he's telling the truth. It's not great that this guy has a wife but to me it does sound like your husband is telling the truth. It's weird he didn't just say this straight away and send it to you, but if the email definitely said sent on the date (and there is no way this has been photoshopped) then it sounds truthful. Still sketchy. Did you see it on the email or did you see a screen shot of the email?? It's all a mess with his wife being a friend too! Urgh. He's been a dick either way!

The email was in his gmail deleted folder he retrieved it from his gmail account somehow. I think he's telling the truth but even if he is then it's not exactly good is it. I never had him down as someone who could be a part of this.

I have no intentions of saying anything to the wife, not yet anyway

Why would he do this for someone else? That's a lot of interest and effort isn't it. Sounds like he set it up for his mate as he has already got contacts himself and knows how it all works.

Once a fortnight, that's what I'm worried about 😩

So there's a chance he's telling the truth. However, it sounds like if this was the case then he was the one negotiating the price. This makes me wonder if he's pretty well practiced in this and offered to sort something out for his mate.

Or there's always the possibility this is a threesome. I can't believe his story given how much time he took. It makes no sense.

Sorry onceafortnight you already made that pount. Dead on I reckon. And worst, sadly.

Like I said upthread

He's a punter or a pimp (or both)

Neither of those things are the actions of a decent husband and father

Looking distinctly pimpy I reckon.

OP could you ask to see other deleted sent emails from the same time? I would actually suspect he's got a fair few saved for monetary reasons.

Let's say he is telling the truth. As a favor to his (married) friend, your dh got the info together about how to secure an escort, sex, or whatever it is, complete with profile pics of these escorts, and a conversation with one of them about where to meet, etc. and then he sent it to his friend.

Think about this for a minute. How did he know to do this?
A. He's done it before, that's how.

Does your dh think it's ok for a married man to pay for an escort/stranger sex and put his wife at risk of her life?
A. Yes, he does. Connect the dots. The very close together dots.

He claims he himself has never done it. What??!
He is an OLD HAND at doing it. Look at the screenshot!
When you confronted him, he immediately ran away for hours to figure out how he could spin this incredibly complicated and "long story."

He's a liar. If you need more evidence, I'm sure there's plenty of it if you look. Let the detective in you show you reality.

Get checked out, get a lawyer, and get yourself far away from this loser. Your children and you deserve much better. He's not even around that much, and now you know what he's been doing instead of being a husband and father. At the very least, he gets on these websites and knows how to get escorts or hookers. Come on, Op!

I like Maman79's way of thinking.

This just reminds me of being a teenager and everyone was pretending to be at everyone else's house. We were all covering for each other. Very convenient. I hear hooves, I think horses. Not zebras.

You have to think about the stories and how realistic they are.

His story: For some reason his friend wants to contact prostitutes through your completely innocent DH, who has given no indication he approves of or condones the use of women for money. This in a country where it's illegal and the women are likely prostituted. Not the type of thing that comes up in conversation with my friends but whatever. DH agrees and helpfully screenshots the details to send to his friend. Rather than tell you this when you confront him, he feels tired and goes to bed. I'm always sleepy when my DH thinks I've shagged someone else. He goes to bed not once but twice. Saying it's a long story. He then tells you a very short story.

The actual story: He used a women, screen-shot for the details, erased everything else, forgot to erase that. He panicked and went to bed to give himself time to make up an excuse. Thought of this, contacted his friend, they emailed, changed the dates. His mate's on board because they are all at it.

I know which sounds more likely to me.