AIBU to smack my toddler?

[ElleDubloo]

I never believed that I would ever smack my little girl. But here's what happened today.

We went on a short walk to the railway bridge because she loves to see the trains. We counted five trains. Then she suddenly decided it would be hilarious to pull her trousers down. For reasons known only to her, she refused to pull them back up, even when I threatened her with "ok we're going home now" and "no cartoons". I couldn't move about easily because I was also carrying a baby in a wrap. I pulled her trousers back on three times while muttering various threats. The fourth time she pulled them down, I gave her exposed bottom a big smack. She cried for a few seconds, then held my hand and walked all the way home like an angel. She started singing after a couple of minutes. So the smack was bad enough to make her cry a little and behave well, but not bad enough to make a lasting dent in her mood.

Was I a terrible parent today, for smacking her despite always vowing I would never smack a child?

*maybe

that involve hurt and humiliation

bet she got a kick out of it

fucking sick bitch angry*

That comment was very uncalled for.

OP I have seen lots of parents smack their children whilst I've been out in public, so you're not the only parent that has smacked their child (if that makes you feel any better)

But I do think YABU you should have resulted to violence, no matter how angry or annoyed you were at her, on the other hand what she did was very inappropriate and to be honest putting myself in that position I don't know how I would have handled it.

I think you're all making a mountain out of a mole hill. Get some perspective and move on.

Haha terrible parenting you are a soft lot!

Not hitting your kid when stressed doesn't make you a perfect parent - it makes you a pretty average one in this day and age.
As a parent of a child with sn I know stress believe me. But there is no situation where you HAVE to hit your child.
If you can cope with workplace stress for eg without hitting your clients/boss then you can manage not to hit your child when stressed.

Alice wow, well you have certainly lowered the tone making OTT and totally unwarrented personal attack on the OP well done you.

read the level of detail in the OP.

I did read it thank you and haven't felt the need to be as judgemental or down right nasty as you

Probably something pornographic I'd imagine aliceintime...... get yourself some grips. Op it happens we are all human don't beat yourself up.

She smacked her daughter's bare bottom, child not injured, marked or bruised.

I cannot see how you are so angry over that or feel the need to say that the OP enjoyed it, it was totally uncalled for.

I save my anger for actual child abusers who actually beat/starve/sexually abuse/neglect children.

Violence is violence though and I can't have a 'well it's not ideal' attitude to a tiny child being hit by someone who is supposed to protect them from harm. Trying to justify it by saying it's not the absolute worst form of abuse is like trying to justify a man giving a woman a slap because at least he didn't beat her to death.

I personally do not feel that the amount or degree of anger directed towards the OP is warranted.

I don't see how a smack is the same as a child being beaten. If that were the case then it would be illegal.

Perspective is needed as frankly many attitudes on here stink.

On one of my first outings with the baby (in pram) and toddler (on foot and refusing to budge in the rain) I lost it and shouted many threats in her face. It was horrible and wrong and was an accumulation of exhaustion and frustration. She actually made reference to it the other day ( remember when you shouted at me in a very scary way) and it was a year ago. Anyway - since then I got a buggy board and never leave home without a packet of emergency jellies in my bag. On some occasions if distractions don't work an all out bribe of - I know what would be fun, if you pulled up your pants and we ate these jellies - is just the ticket.

Alice, get a grip.

I really like the suggestions of bringing food on future trips. Up till now, I'd always tried to avoid using food as bribery. But it's definitely effective, and much more preferable to what happened.

Alice - if you managed to read anything sexual in what I wrote, then the problem is very much in your brain.

If all violence is the same in your eyes mumoftu does that mean that the OP should lose custody of her children and be prosecuted then the same as a child abuser that murdered their child ??

Yes bribery is a good one. I used it a lot when mine were little, and just to reassure, they are 10 and nearly 13 and definitely haven't turned out spoiled and grabby as a result.

I didn't say all violence was the same. I said that more minor abuse like smacking isn't made ok because other people do worse. Imagine if anyone suggested that minor domestic violence was ok because 'he didn't beat her up really badly'.
The problem is that parents still have the support of the law to smack in this country. Which gives smacking children a legitimacy it shouldn't have imo.

YWBU but I'm sure you know that. Always folk who say stuff like "oh I was hit as a kid never did me any harm" etc but from someone who was smacked about regularly as a child it did personally for me mentally and physically. I'm obviously projecting a bit from that so my views on it are probably more extreme than most. But the bit of your post that made me particularly uncomfortable was where you mention how she behaved after that almost as though you were justifying it or looking for permission to use it as a valid parenting tool in future.