How many mini-tasks do you do before 8am?

[m0j1to]

Kind of following on from the "mental load" thread, I think lots of women are in the position of having effectively done the equivalent of maybe half a days work before they even leave the house "of a morning"?

This would be a typical weekday morning for me -

5.30. Get up. Feed and deal with cats / litter trays. Get showered and ready.

6.00 Iron and "de-fluff" 4 school uniforms (hazard of 3 white Persian cats ). Lay out all clothes for DC
Make sure PE kits are in bags.
Check correct homework is in bags etc.

6.30 Take DH coffee in bed and wake him up. Wake everyone up. Start making breakfast, unloading dishwasher and whatever else. Up and down stairs in the meantime for people asking where's this and where's that and general moaning.

7.00 Serve everyone breakfast - to various specifications

7.20 DS1 and DD1 leave.
Run round and make sure bathrooms ok and no underwear etc left around the place, beds made etc (particularly on days cleaner is coming). Put some laundry in. Make beds.

7.30 DH leaves. Tidy kitchen and see if I can get DD2 and 3 (twins) to do 15 mins music practice if they didn't do it the night before.
Do whatever hairstyles of the day on both.

7.55 Leave for school run.

This is NOT meant to be a moan or sound like a martyr complex because after this, my time is more or less my own until 3pm. But AIBU to think that actually most women do a multitude of such mini-tasks every morning which other members of the household are barely aware of?

You may well ask why I don't do a lot of this stuff in the evenings and I do try to, but the evenings are busy too with dinner, homework, baths and bedtimes. DS1 not in bed until 10 and I'm generally too tired by then.

Get up at 6am, go downstairs , prepare lunch box( fresh sandwich, cut fruit in half, etc) get kids breakfast table ready, then shower, get dress, get my lunch box ready for work, clean bathroom downstairs, get kids bags ready, check te weather, sort out wash and dryer, get kids up ( 2 kids ages 6 and 5) getting them dress, brush teeth, brush hair, do beds , open windows, wash breakfast dishes, out of the door at 7:30 for breakfast club, get bus to work before 8am!

Our morning routine is...

Get up at 6.30 (check Facebook/news)
6.45 I shower and dress whilst hubby dresses dc (age 3 & 5)
7.00 ish DH showers and the kids vegetate in front of the tv whist I continue to get ready.
7.20 we do kids hair/teeth/inhalers etc
7.30 kids help DH with breakfast
7.30-8 me - quick tidy of house/washing out
8.15 nursery run/work for me.

Non working days, me & the kids get in to our bed, watch TV and leave DH to get organised.

It seems a lot on paper but most people probably do that. At least you can relax during the day (I take it from post you don't work). A lot of people have this to do and work. (Not meant in negative way)

Up at 04:49 (I like odd numbers )

Go for a run for 30 minutes.

Shower, dry hair, do make up.

Prepare breakfast and packed lunches. Load slow cooker if needed.

Eat own breakfast, wake family.

Pass on serving of breakfast to DH.

Dress, go to work.

I definitely complete loads of mini tasks on the weekday mornings that I'm not at work.
My day starts like this....
7am wake up kids/make breakfast for youngest
7:15 make packed lunches for kids, start washing up leftover bits from last night.have a coffee with my DH who has just finished work.
7:45 empty potty/clean toilet/collect dirty clothes. Probably brush my teeth and pluck a few eyebrows.
8am announce to DD that it's time to get dressed/get youngest clothes out for the day/start tidying up random toys/ collect yet more dirty clothes that have been hidden under beds/wardrobe.
8:10 put washing machine on/start tidying up kitchen from breakfast/putting plates etc away.
8:15 curse as DH puts all his work clothes in the laundry basket/DD brings in more hidden dirty clothes
8:20 attempt to drink another coffee whilst DH washes/dresses youngest. Argue with DD about where homework/book/planner is
8:30 do whatever extravagant hairstyle DD demands just to get her out the door
8:40 get washed/dressed myself and prepare to get to nursery before 8:55am whilst dragging DD out the door to start her 5 min walk to school

I think that it fair enough that OP does those things for her DH (coffee,breakfast etc) as it seems as if he works, she doesn't and has a cleaner.
The morning uniform business seems a bit much,maybe do them the day before, hang uniform in wardrobe then a quick whizz over with a sticky roller as they leave the house.
Definitely agree with oldest children doing more for themselves, they should be unloading/loading dishwasher , my 7 and 10 year old do that daily, getting their own bags ready , etc
My morning is - 5.30 am get woken up repeatedly by insistent 3 & 5 year olds
Get up more towards 6.45 if I can hold them off until then.
Make breakfast/drinks x4 or DH does
Eat my breakfast , wash dress me
Wash dress 3 year old
Find lost socks/gym kit, shoe/homework
Do hairstyle on 7 year old
Make 10 year old lunch
They sort their own bags

Sort my work bag
Continuly chivying everyone along during whole process to eat, wash,dress,fill water bottle,put on shoes,
stop fighting,arguing,standing around in pants....
Do school/nursery run and go to work
I felt like I did a lot but you really do OP!

From 3/4am (bad sleeper)

Wee
Wind up Daily Mail bigots
Facebook
Poop
Read emails - including work
Have a little cry at impending long, boring meeting
Iron dd's shirt
DD first alarm
DD second alarm
Row with DD and clear plates/bin/assorted shit from her room
Feed fish
Check DD definitely up
Shower
Minimal make-up watching the news
Get screamed at by DD
Realise no time to dry hair. Put up in 80s clip
Read all work emails that have arrived since last checked
Have a little cry and wonder what it's all about
Leave with DD to despatch her at bus stop and me to work

I do about that same - but from you post I assume you are a SAH mum and to be honest I'm more of a morning person so doing lunches, dishwasher, school bags etc ... it suits me to do them in the morning as I like to be up at 6 and generally get the kids up st 7 so in that hour I get a lot done and even manage a wee without an interruption!
lol

Get baby fed, changed and dressed. Get ready myself. Wake 4yo if she isn't already up and tell her to get dressed (she gets her clothes out and puts them on.) Supervise tooth brushing. Dd gets her breakfast while I get mine and ds's. Get dd to check she has the right things in her book bag for the day. Drive dcs to childminder for 7.30. Go to work.

Haven't rtft
But seriously 7-30 am music practice.
Please tell me you don't have neighbours

Strawberries...too much crying there.

How about a couple of sessions with mind ?

I have left the house at 8am every day of my adult life. Never have I needed to get up at 5:30 to achieve this

I get up before 5 and leave the house at around 7:50.

I don't need to; I enjoy having extra time in the morning. Morning routines are personal and you work out what's best in your family.

DH and I are both up at 5:30am every morning and getting stuff done to get out of the house/make it so there is nothing much to be done in the evenings.

DS1 pretty much looks after himself now he is 13 and will often take care of DS2's breakfast when he is getting his own and/or make an extra lunch if he is doing his.

I am out the door at 6:45am, DH & DS2 at 7:00am and DS1 at 7:45am. Mornings are a military operation of washing/drying/prepping so that we can all chill out in the evenings.

If everyone does a bit, no one has to do a lot.

Sparkles -dyspraxia, adhd, dygraphia & hms for me- my mother would also have claimed that I managed it all fine. That didn't include the huge cost to my emotional and mental wellbeing that forcing myself to perform at a level that was so incredibly difficult for me just because she expected that I did so. Her passive agrestive expectation that I get a grip on my disabilities meant I missed the chance to develop much needed coping skills or not be so hard on myself. The perfection despite my challenges came at a high cost, emotional breakdown, cfs and non existent relationship with my mother as an adult. Your tone sounds similar.

Wait.... What? Do other dh's help in the mornings?

Mine does naff all... Am I being mugged off? I'm sahm so assumed kids and everything else is my domain until he's home in the evening?

Im same as you op.... Get up at ridiculous o'clock with kids and don't stop until dd goes down for her 11am nap I find it exhausting as at the moment she gets up at 3am some days.

Well my DH doesn't help because he leaves for work at 4:15am. I do the morning routine on my own. DH does the bedtime routine on his own 3-4 nights a week.

I do all routines on my own. Sometimes DH will pitch in when he can. He's better at doing the household stuff

Get out of bed,that's about all.

Im same as you op.... Get up at ridiculous o'clock with kids and don't stop until dd goes down for her 11am nap sad I find it exhausting as at the moment she gets up at 3am some days.

You're not the same as OP though as she has school age children (aged 9 to 13) and also a cleaner (at least twice a week) so can put her feet up between 9 and 3.

How old are your dc op? Can they sort uniforms and breakfast?

Get up get dressed leave for work ! Have a Sahd

The fun starts at the weekend

Just seen the ages of your dcs

I'm in a similar position to the OP in that I'm a SAHM to school age DC (similar ages but only 3 of them). I don't know what people are all about here really. Of course, it gets easier in a way as they get older, but it also gets more complicated and possibly emotionally draining in another.

Roomster - you seem to need to keep reminding everyone that the OP has her own time and can "put her feet up" between 9-3. Well so what? My mornings and after school / evenings are very full on as well, so I feel no guilt whatsoever about taking my down time during school hours. DH actively encourages me to do this because he's grateful that I make his life smoother and take the pressure off him when he's at home. That's the deal for us. Everyone needs to recharge surely?
That said, much of my weekdays are actually spent running errands for the resume if the family. With 3 DC, there is always something they need and it means I don't have to drag them with me after school or spend time shopping at weekends. I'm the first to admit that I have time for a manicure or something, but like everyone, I fill my time, as do all the other SAHMs I know. We have a cleaner too, but there is always stuff to do around the house nevertheless because 5 of us live in it! Nobody lives their life in suspended animation. I do breakfast for DH in the mornings and carry the domestic/school/DC emotional "load" because I have the capacity to do so and I'm not rushing out to get to work myself. That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to feel a bit overwhelmed or manic at certain points of the day or week.

Rest of family, not resume

Roomster - you seem to need to keep reminding everyone that the OP has her own time and can "put her feet up" between 9-3. Well so what? My mornings and after school / evenings are very full on as well, so I feel no guilt whatsoever about taking my down time during school hours

I didn't say you needed to feel guilt. What you do with your time and how much time you have off and indeed how you allocate your time is entirely up to you. I just found the whole "we are so hardworking" attitude from OP and some other posters on this thread quite laughable when they actually have very little to do overall in the day (including you it seems). They just choose to do it all first thing in the morning. The lack of recognition that you have a pretty easy life is ridiculous and quite insulting to those who do have to work really hard.