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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to be cummed on?

304 replies

YouAreMySweetestDownfall · 02/06/2017 19:23

My dp does not do condoms and I'm not a fan of the pill. We use the withdrawal method and he, without fail cums somewhere on my body. This was the same with my Xh and most of the blokes I've been with in the past. What do they get out of it? Is it like pudding to mark your territory?

I've mentioned it to my dp and his chilled out self always says 'sure, next time' but then gets 'caught up in the moment, and it ends up somewhere on my body Hmm.

I'm not being unreasonable to resent being covered in someone's body fluids am I?

OP posts:
Heebejeebees · 02/06/2017 22:30

Pea, no idea how to quote or bold, but read cheeseofhearts above too. Sex is for pleasure, intimacy and bonding. Compromise is needed surely as it's likely impossible to control it enjoyably.

Have you orgasmed? Not being patronising I promise, I was a late cummer. Either I get close and don't if the 'situ' changed, or I can't control it. Same for a man surely? Not allowed to cum in, over, out etc. I get why men hate condoms, have you ever tried to squeeze one on? No matter what brand, size, they are tiny, tight and don't allow proper pleasure.

Maybe femidoms need a revival!

user1486669405 · 02/06/2017 22:30

I always used the withdrawal method and never got pregnant from it. Wouldn't have used it in a non serious relationship though. Whenever we tried to conceive it always happened within 3 months, so no fertility issues. He just always withdrew. I think it is hard to get pregnant from precum.

ChildishGambino · 02/06/2017 22:32

Ewww not on the bed...anywhere else but there!

PeaFaceMcgee · 02/06/2017 22:34

No method is 100% apart from hysterectomy. There are thousands of people who also get pregnant on the pill, or with condoms. Done properly withdrawal is 96% effective. Done badly it's 78% effective.

OP has said she'll be going to her GP in any case - sounds like this situation is temporary then.

AnniesShop · 02/06/2017 22:35

@Mollie85 Billy Connolly: "I'd personally like to thank the Catholic Church for the "withdrawal method"... without which, I wouldn't be here... Grin

Grin I nearly spat my cocoa out.

MiddleClassProblem · 02/06/2017 22:36

user1486669405 sounds like you e been lucky. In my head it sounds like someone saying they had a few drinks and always drive home but never had an accident.

PaintingOwls · 02/06/2017 22:37

I get why men hate condoms, have you ever tried to squeeze one on? No matter what brand, size, they are tiny, tight and don't allow proper pleasure.

There is a brand called MySize which offers condoms the exact size you need. It's the ones we use, he just needs to take a few measurements and away you go. You can buy these online.

Heebejeebees · 02/06/2017 22:37

Pea - 'Any man is physically capable of pulling it out and aiming it somewhere else. If they claim otherwise they just don't want to.'

Not true, my ex had premiture ejaculation, would happen 60% of the time, literally no warning.

Not saying this is him, but I think your statement is incorrect.

Deadgood - I didn't mean to imply you were Personally inhibited, but so many comments on here intimate some people are disgusting and some not based on what they are 'OK' with in bed. Live and let live. It's about being comfortable as a couple together. This couple are not clearly, and need to talk and compromise.

Heebejeebees · 02/06/2017 22:39

Paintingowls - wow, thank you! I don't need these today (tested and coil) but that is awesome (if a little weird getting the tape measure out)

Ravenblack · 02/06/2017 22:42

There is a brand called MySize which offers condoms the exact size you need. It's the ones we use, he just needs to take a few measurements and away you go. You can buy these online.

BA HAHAHAHA!! Grin

Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 02/06/2017 22:42

If he doesn't do condoms then you don't do sex your risking STI's and getting pregnant you need to get yourself on to the pill or something. Also YANBU about not wanting him to cum all over that's just disgusting.

PeaFaceMcgee · 02/06/2017 22:45

Sex is for pleasure, intimacy and bonding

I agree - but do you think this is only possible where climax happens squirted inside an orifice or splatted on a body? I don't.

Have you orgasmed?

I am female and have had thousands of orgasms, since I was 14, thanks very much.

We know that OP's partner is able to climax after withdrawal. If he can only achieve this by doing it on her skin, and she doesn't like that, then he or they will have to come up with another solution as it is not acceptable for him to go ahead regardless, without her consent.

Fanciedachange17 · 02/06/2017 22:47

LTB

MaisyPops · 02/06/2017 22:54

tiba
Then say he is a keeper because of that.

Don't suggest that a certain act is inherently disgusting and degrading because it comes across like he's somehow better for thinking the act is bad.

There's many things that don't float my boat but if it floats somebody else's and is within the law then who am I to say it's disgusting.

Heebejeebees · 02/06/2017 22:55

Pea - you quoted me out of context. That's not fair. Go back and quote me properly of you want to respond. I'm too inept technically to do so!!

My overall point is, they need to talk and agree a solution. There is no possible solution though to no cum in/over etc every time. Sex doesn't work like that. I'm glad you've been orgasming since 14! Took me til I was 28! 😳

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 02/06/2017 22:57

However, "DH usually comes in me, but if he doesn't for some reason, I always swallow" makes the writer sound like a submissive little wife who always swallows like a good girl, which just makes me feel ill.

I swallow because I enjoy it.

But yes, I am submissive in the bedroom. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Heebejeebees · 02/06/2017 22:59

Pea - my full response 'Today 22:30 Heebejeebees

Pea, no idea how to quote or bold, but read cheeseofhearts above too. Sex is for pleasure, intimacy and bonding. Compromise is needed surely as it's likely impossible to control it enjoyably.

Have you orgasmed? Not being patronising I promise, I was a late cummer. Either I get close and don't if the 'situ' changed, or I can't control it. Same for a man surely? Not allowed to cum in, over, out etc. I get why men hate condoms, have you ever tried to squeeze one on? No matter what brand, size, they are tiny, tight and don't allow proper pleasure.

Maybe femidoms need a revival! '

Your retort below = unfair quoting.

'Sex is for pleasure, intimacy and bonding

I agree - but do you think this is only possible where climax happens squirted inside an orifice or splatted on a body? I don't.

Have you orgasmed?

I am female and have had thousands of orgasms, since I was 14, thanks very much.

We know that OP's partner is able to climax after withdrawal. If he can only achieve this by doing it on her skin, and she doesn't like that, then he or they will have to come up with another solution as it is not acceptable for him to go ahead regardless, without her consent.'

Sparklingbrook · 02/06/2017 22:59

Perhaps this would be better in the Sex Topic after all....

Heebejeebees · 02/06/2017 23:02

Maisypops - 100% agree with you!

But like, dont bring people down to build you up. Similar vein.

Heebejeebees · 02/06/2017 23:03

*bit like

Snugglepumpkin · 02/06/2017 23:04

If you tell him you don't want him to do that & next time he pulls out ready to splash it all over you, just reach out & redirect it so it goes all over him.

If he doesn't like it on himself, he should learn to point it somewhere else, although frankly I'd rather it was on someones skin as opposed to the sheets/wallpaper/carpet or whatever else is within range.

Alternatively, have you considered that during Peppa Pig is not the time to be doing this & you should wait until you do have time to use the bathroom afterwards?
Considering the episodes are only 5 minutes long I'm sure you could find those 5 minutes at some more suitable time of day/night?

PeaFaceMcgee · 02/06/2017 23:05

Heebe - My responses to you remain the same.

OP has posted to say that she's going to the GP - presumably to choose a method that means he can come inside her.

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer · 02/06/2017 23:11

These just popped up on DH's Facebook. Grin

BeeThirtythree · 02/06/2017 23:11

Anyone else remember the 'cum' used as facial mask trend? There was YouTube tutorials etc?
Maybe try it as a facial mask and see if the 'high protein content' makes a difference? Do it and report back any improvement in smoother skin or is it really a myth?

Heebejeebees · 02/06/2017 23:14

Pea- then we agree mostly, despite your partial quoting that misreprented my views. I said they need to talk and compromise. I agree intimacy, bonding and sexual pleasure is not all about 'squirting the load on/in' but let's be honest, it's a HUGE part.

My original response to OP was 1. To sort temp or permanent contraception metnods. 2. To talk with her partner. 3. Provided my personal experience.

Most of this thread has been some offensive competition that is not required.