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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to be cummed on?

304 replies

YouAreMySweetestDownfall · 02/06/2017 19:23

My dp does not do condoms and I'm not a fan of the pill. We use the withdrawal method and he, without fail cums somewhere on my body. This was the same with my Xh and most of the blokes I've been with in the past. What do they get out of it? Is it like pudding to mark your territory?

I've mentioned it to my dp and his chilled out self always says 'sure, next time' but then gets 'caught up in the moment, and it ends up somewhere on my body Hmm.

I'm not being unreasonable to resent being covered in someone's body fluids am I?

OP posts:
coconuttella · 03/06/2017 10:41

Surely you have to enjoy all of that to enjoy sex. If you spend the time thinking 'Eww' or about cleaning up afterwards there can be no pleasure?????

Precisely... I bet there's a strong correlation between people's enjoyment and frequent of sex and feelings of repulsion to bodily fluids.

user1493759849 · 03/06/2017 10:45

I bet there's a strong correlation between people's enjoyment and frequent of sex and feelings of repulsion to bodily fluids.

I bet there isn't.

ForalltheSaints · 03/06/2017 10:48

Sex should be consensual. In this case, it should be 'no glove, no love' or the snip.

ComputerUserNotTrained · 03/06/2017 10:53

Having an aversion to the kind of bodily fluids which are part and parcel of straightforward, not even remotely kinky sex, must take the edge off a bit though, surely?

coconuttella · 03/06/2017 11:14

user1493759849

But bodily fluids of one kind or another are an integral part of sex... as Computer said above, part of normal, vanilla sex. If someone finds such a core part of sex repulsive, it must affect their desire for it.

For instance, I like hiking, but if I had an aversion to mud I'd be less inclined to do it...and enjoy it less when I did and had to go through a muddy field.

TakeThatFuckingDressOffNow · 03/06/2017 12:46

I agree with you OP, you don't need to have it flung all over you. Imagine if you dropped your yoghurt over him at the drop of a hat, see how he likes it.

Nothing to do with enjoying sex, everyone has different views on the fluids. Your's might differ to OPs but all are valid.

LakieLady · 03/06/2017 13:11

Ever considered wrapping yourself in cling film OP? Then you could just peel it off and wrap up the spunk at the same time, and bin it.

IloveBanff · 03/06/2017 13:17

It's a good job your dp doesn't object to getting your body fluids on him isn't it, OP? Then I suppose you'd both just stay fully clothed and describe what you'd do with each other if it wasn't all so frightfully icky.

LiveLongAndProspero · 03/06/2017 13:27

Good point. Himself is covered her fluids but she objects to his, its a bit weird. Are people aiming for perfectly dry sex?

MaidOfStars · 03/06/2017 13:27

I have very regular cycles and very obvious ovulation symptoms. My husband and I therefore use a combination of condoms (unsafe times) and withdrawal (safe times where messing around isn't going to be a problem). This means that in 'safe weeks', I'm getting ejaculated on. I don't mind it at all; I find it rather exciting. and better me than the duvet

But if you don't like it, OP, you have the right to refuse it.

Original poster
YouAreMySweetestDownfall · 03/06/2017 13:32

I agree that there is a strong element of competitive sex life bragging on here. I waiting to hear from the poster who likes to double dipped and then lick the truffle butter off her dp's dick Grin

I'm not a clean and sterile person and I don't have an aversion to bodily fluids. I have an aversion to having a sexual request repeatedly ignored and yes if it's a quicky, waiting for him to return with tissues whilst you crouch on all fours is not pleasant.

It's the first time I've noticed it and I've only been here a few years but MN had changed Sad. It used to be witty but also supportive. My problem for posting in the bunfight section though!!

OP posts:
CountryCaterpillar · 03/06/2017 13:51

Coco -

I like quite kinky sex but still wouldn't like being cum-ed on. We don't do withdrawal though so it isn't a problem

Funnily enough I like hiking but tend to avoid muddy routes/go in good weather!!!

ComputerUserNotTrained · 03/06/2017 14:03

I don't think there's been much bragging on this thread at all Confused

Anyway OP, you don't like being ejaculated on; that doesn't make you some kind of repressed prude. I'm pleased that you're going to visit your GP about your contraceptive options, but regardless, do you really want to be having a relationship with a man who repeatedly ignores your feelings?

Motherbear26 · 03/06/2017 14:52

OP, he is very wrong to ignore your feelings but I'd be equally concerned that he doesn't do condoms. It is by far the easiest (not to mention safest) solution if you don't wish to take contraception, hormonal or otherwise. Just how many people has he refused to 'do condoms' with? I can't believe there are still men out there that behave like this, with no concern for their own health or that of their partner. And to be brutally honest, I'm even more surprised that there are women out there who accept this kind of treatment. Tell him it's condoms or nothing, see how long his aversion lasts then. I don't want to be harsh, but if his behaviour isn't abusive, I don't know what is.

MaisyPops · 03/06/2017 14:54

I waiting to hear from the poster who likes to double dipped and then lick the truffle butter off her dp's dick
I don't think there's much bragging at all. I think based on OP's reply they were hoping for a unanimous 'omg that's awful he is so horrific' and what they actually got was
a lot of people questioning how no condoms, no pill, zero contraception, so dont cum IN me, don't get cum ON me etc would realistically work and then the view 'fine you don't want it on you. Personally I'd rather that than it go on my sheets.'

He can try to aim somewhere other than her, but sometimes you haven't really got a choice when your orgasm is going to happen. Sometimes it might get her. Sometimes hell manage to aim better.

People have been a bit funny, but no more so than the beaker thread ages ago. Grin

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 03/06/2017 19:49

Can't he just pull out and hold his thumb over the end?

If he did that he'd end up with a ruined orgasm and that would not be pleasant at all.

Giddyaunt18 · 03/06/2017 19:56

Can't he just pull out and hold his thumb over the end?

Lol and what, pretend he's just won the Grand Prix?

Jupitar · 03/06/2017 20:03

Lol and what, pretend he's just won the Grand Prix?

GrinGrinGrin

IloveBanff · 03/06/2017 20:11

"Lol and what, pretend he's just won the Grand Prix?"

Don't be daft! To do that he'd have to jump up and down at the same time!

(They shake the bottle you seeBlush)

squoosh · 03/06/2017 20:16

I don't think his grand prick would enjoy the Grand Prix gesturing.

PortiaCastis · 03/06/2017 20:17

They shake the bottle you see
Yep and the stuff goes everywhere

LiveLongAndProspero · 03/06/2017 20:21

Can't he just pull out and hold his thumb over the end?

I don't think you know how sex works.

cloudchasing · 04/06/2017 06:50

Absolutely 100% agree with Lulu ^^

cloudchasing · 04/06/2017 06:53

However OP, regarding your main issue - I would not be impressed by him repeatedly doing what the fuck HE wants. Not one jot.

coconuttella · 04/06/2017 07:08

Can't he just pull out and hold his thumb over the end?

How joyless... I get the OP has an aversion to being ejaculated on and she has the right to expect her DP to respect that, but surely to disengage from your partner at the very moment of orgasm doesn't make for good sex. Imagine if a man, realising his partner was about to orgasm said... "I find you orgasming a bit of a turn off frankly, so here's your dildo to finish off, I'll just roll over. Let me know when you're done". Having said that, in this case the man's equally to blame for refusing to wear a condom.

how clueless... do you genuinely think it would just rebound off the thumb back into his balls?