Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to be cummed on?

304 replies

YouAreMySweetestDownfall · 02/06/2017 19:23

My dp does not do condoms and I'm not a fan of the pill. We use the withdrawal method and he, without fail cums somewhere on my body. This was the same with my Xh and most of the blokes I've been with in the past. What do they get out of it? Is it like pudding to mark your territory?

I've mentioned it to my dp and his chilled out self always says 'sure, next time' but then gets 'caught up in the moment, and it ends up somewhere on my body Hmm.

I'm not being unreasonable to resent being covered in someone's body fluids am I?

OP posts:
KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 02/06/2017 21:51

high

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=The%20Simba

Heebejeebees · 02/06/2017 21:51

For those talking about it being 'abuse' if you've said don't cum on me/ in me. Unfortunately ejaculation is sometimes involuntary. If you agree to the sex, it's inevitable it could happen.

You two don't sound compatible unless you haven't truly vocalised your issues and looked for solutions together.

StrangeLookingParasite · 02/06/2017 21:52

So on the point of ejeculation, other than whipping it out, he's supposed to carefully aim it onto the bed, towel or receptacle?

Would you like him to sing a Beatles medley whilst making shadow rabbits on the wall as well?

I'd quite like to see this.

DeadGood · 02/06/2017 21:55

"A blowjob is a "treat"? Your poor DP.

I'm on the pill so DH usually comes in me, but if he doesn't for some reason, I always swallow."

PUKE Envy

OverthinkingSpartacus · 02/06/2017 22:00

@pinky

That sounds awful, well done on getting rid.
Was reading bits of this out to Dh and he said when he was younger he knew a few males who thought there was something wrong with women who didn't happily swallow or accept being ejaculutaed on usually think the suggestion they rub in themselves or swallow a mouthful is "disgusting"

Heebejeebees · 02/06/2017 22:01

'DeadGood' horses for courses. I'd do the same.

It's equally horrible to be disparaging of those sexually more liberated, as it is to those more inhibited.

tiba · 02/06/2017 22:02

maidypops that's rediculous...

As I said, I asked him if he wanted to,
It wasn't something that bothered me, and previous partners have all liked to.

It's lovely to find someone who doesn't want to treat their partner as a porn mag though Grin

The amount of men who are happy to cum on their other halfs but not get it on themselves is whats wrong here

squoosh · 02/06/2017 22:06

Erm, you are fucking. I think some contact with the other person's bodily fluids at some point is par for the course.

What's more they're fucking without a conform. Fluids inevitable!

PeaFaceMcgee · 02/06/2017 22:06

if he had to aim at some receptacle surely it would spoil the moment

I imagine the moment is rather spoilt for OP if he deliberately and repeatedly does something to her sexually that she hasn't consented to. Or does his pleasure trump her choices?

Heebejeebees · 02/06/2017 22:11

But 'pea' do you have any sensible solutions that could happen realistically ever time he's near cumming that would involve zero cum on his DP, in her or around her?

Surely the point of cumming is to be turned on. If he's pulling out when possibly near it, and finishing in a towel, doesn't that completely ruin the moment, intimacy etc?

Shouldn't sex be bonding?

ohgoshIdontknow · 02/06/2017 22:12

YANBU.

That is revolting and I would hate it.

squoosh · 02/06/2017 22:13

It's like I used to know a woman who called me 'boring' for not wanting anal sex, and DH used to know a man who called US boring for not being into swinging

'And then the woman in B&Q told me we were boring for not going dogging and my in laws told us we were really boring for not visiting S&M dungeons...'

If you stop discussing your sex life with randoms you won't get annoyed by their irrelevant opinions! 😂

Figaro2017 · 02/06/2017 22:17

Perhaps the OP could wear a wet suit?

Or maybe he could put a little cork in the end so as it can be let out at a convenient time?

Maybe if the Op has an 'in' belly button she could line that with a little plastic bag for him to aim at?

Or could he wear a wicket keepers glove to catch it in?

Heebejeebees · 02/06/2017 22:18

Figaro - don't be mean.

Emboo19 · 02/06/2017 22:19

*He downright refuses, his reason being that it is a totally degrading act and he would feel disrespectful doing it.

Hes a keeper*

I sometimes ask my boyfriend to do it, or just aim it where I want it Blush definitely don't feel degraded by it!
We don't do it as withdrawal though, he uses condoms as we don't want more babies yet . And he's more than ok with it going on him as well.

CheeseOfHearts · 02/06/2017 22:19

In all seriousness, what biologically can a man do in this situation? Some people seem to be expecting a level of control that I'm not sure is possible. When my DH is on the point of orgasm it's not like he can just stop, find a suitable receptacle, then release. It's not a water pistol! It just kind of goes wherever it goes, nothing to do with respect or whatever it's pretty much involuntaryat that stage. So if you don't like cum on you, either it stays in or stay celebate.

PeaFaceMcgee · 02/06/2017 22:21

Heebejeebees

He can come in a wad of tissue, or a towel, or anything really except in/on OP or the bed (as that's a faff afterwards).

Surely the point of cumming is to be turned on. If he's pulling out when possibly near it, and finishing in a towel, doesn't that completely ruin the moment, intimacy etc?

That's his choice and tough tits as he declines condoms.

Emboo19 · 02/06/2017 22:21

If Op doesn't like it, he could easily do it into his hand or on to his tummy though.

PeaFaceMcgee · 02/06/2017 22:24

Any man is physically capable of pulling it out and aiming it somewhere else. If they claim otherwise they just don't want to.

missrabbit23 · 02/06/2017 22:24

Make sure the last position your in is you on top when his about to come jump off, gets it all over himself! Works every time 😜

TheMysteriousJackelope · 02/06/2017 22:26

If he had a vasectomy that would take care of worrying about becoming pregnant, and the stuff he produces wouldn't technically be 'cum'.

How about you suggest that? I imagine he'll suddenly discover a desire to try a variety of condom brands. .

PaintingOwls · 02/06/2017 22:26

Would it help if he came on himself? I have been using the withdrawal method for close to 7 years and am baby free with periods like clockwork. Precum is not a problem unless he has recently had an orgasm and not had a slash. Urine clears the tube of swimmers.

DP usually comes on my stomach or back but sometimes I am on top and it goes all over HIS stomach. He doesn't care and I think the blasé attitude makes me OK with it. When he first did it I thought it was a porn thing but when he came on himself I asked if he minded and he said no, it's just cum then had a taste so I think it's just a functional thing.

I suppose you could have sex in the shower and get him to aim at the wall so that it can be rinsed down after Grin

DeadGood · 02/06/2017 22:27

"It's equally horrible to be disparaging of those sexually more liberated, as it is to those more inhibited."

Oh Heebejeebees this is funny because I am not inhibited.

However, "DH usually comes in me, but if he doesn't for some reason, I always swallow" makes the writer sound like a submissive little wife who always swallows like a good girl, which just makes me feel ill.

Beachhairdontcare · 02/06/2017 22:28

I used the withdrawal method. I now have a 15 week old baby. Just saying.

squoosh · 02/06/2017 22:30

For plenty of men and women being submissive is their thing. Maybe they'd be equally unimpressed with your bedroom activities.

Live and let live.

Swipe left for the next trending thread