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Original poster

To not want to be cummed on?

304 replies

YouAreMySweetestDownfall · 02/06/2017 19:23

My dp does not do condoms and I'm not a fan of the pill. We use the withdrawal method and he, without fail cums somewhere on my body. This was the same with my Xh and most of the blokes I've been with in the past. What do they get out of it? Is it like pudding to mark your territory?

I've mentioned it to my dp and his chilled out self always says 'sure, next time' but then gets 'caught up in the moment, and it ends up somewhere on my body Hmm.

I'm not being unreasonable to resent being covered in someone's body fluids am I?

OP posts:
Voice0fReason · 02/06/2017 23:17

I just don't understand how, in a grown up relationship, couples can't discuss and agree things like this!
It really shouldn't be that difficult - "I don't like it when you ejaculate on me, can you do it into a tissue please? Thanks, and we really need to look at our contraceptive choices as I'm likely to end up pregnant if we carry on like this."

Woody67 · 02/06/2017 23:20

The result of our use of the withdrawal method is currently sitting his GCSEs! Grin

VestalVirgin · 02/06/2017 23:21

They don't need to compromise. If she doesn't like it, she doesn't like it and he ought to NEVER do it.

Sex is not an area of life where you compromise on something you don't want 100%.

They should use condoms.

Or he could get a vasectomy, since he is the one who doesn't want to use condoms.

Ethylred · 02/06/2017 23:23

Look it's Friday night...

OP have you tried bumsex?

noego · 02/06/2017 23:24

How about he wipes it on the curtains :)

Timmytoo · 02/06/2017 23:24

I've had 20 years of using withdrawal as contraception and never fallen pregnant except the time my ex DP and I actually tried for a baby but I miscarried unfortunately. I've always found it a reliable method. I'm not infertile as I've been tested and I have very regular periods but I react very badly to any of the pills and I'm allergic to latex. I have had a very active sex life but with only two guys as I don't sleep around due to risk of STD's. My partnered have to get checked out before I sleep with them and they've all been extremely long term. Withdrawal has just always worked for me.

RedStripeIassie · 02/06/2017 23:24

I don't think me and dh can be too fertile. He's another no condom zone and besides the planned one we're doing ok.

Seriously, anything you're not comfortable with sex wise should be talk througH.

Heebejeebees · 02/06/2017 23:25

VestalVirgin - being in a relationship is about compromise, unless you're friggin lucky and agree EVERYTHING!! Wow I'd love that 😄

He doesn't like condoms, she doesn't like cum on her. As equal partners why do you think he should do something he doesn't like but her not? I'm not sticking up for him or her. Judging asking based on your post.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 02/06/2017 23:28

You need a plant for the bedside table. Kill two birds with one stone.

FastAbsorbingCake · 02/06/2017 23:28

Oh my whatsits

This thread is depressing on so many levels.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 02/06/2017 23:32

Oh my whatsits

This thread is depressing on so many levels.

If that was aimed at me, I'm not sure what's depressing about a happily married couple engaging in consensual kinky sex? Confused

PortiaCastis · 02/06/2017 23:32

I suggest a Venus fly trap Lois

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 02/06/2017 23:35

Touche portia Grin

PeaFaceMcgee · 02/06/2017 23:39

I agree intimacy, bonding and sexual pleasure is not all about 'squirting the load on/in' but let's be honest, it's a HUGE part

For YOU it seems. This is not a universal truth. Sex is a rich tapestry, eh?

He doesn't like condoms, she doesn't like cum on her. As equal partners why do you think he should do something he doesn't like but her not?

It is not acceptable to expect anyone to put up with something sexually that they do not like.

If this means they are sexually incompatible then so be it, but it looks like OP is open to trying other contraceptive methods.

Shame it's usually the woman who has to go to the effort. I still maintain a man is capable of directing his load elsewhere Wink

Persemillion · 02/06/2017 23:44

Highalert

Oh god here we go with the competitive sexing.

As if competitive cleaning wasn't enough...

tickwhitetick · 02/06/2017 23:49

I'm on the pill so DH usually comes in me, but if he doesn't for some reason, I always swallow

wait, what? so he whips it out and you open your mouth to receive a load of spunk? Why?!

Pollyanna9 · 02/06/2017 23:50

So he has the wherewithall to withdraw and not to not jizz over her when she's said she doesn't really like it/finds it distasteful - that makes it sound rather more deliberate.

He won't use a condom which would be the ideal solution!

And she doesn't particularly enjoy giving BJs (which is 100% her right - there is no 'should like') and I'm sure if there was something he didn't like she wouldn't force it on him.

It sounds a little bit to me like there's a bit of control/selfishness on his part and a few aspects OP isn't really happy about but does anyway - including pretty much not seemingly getting a proper say in the contraception. If he won't use condoms I'd be getting my own contraception sorted so he didn't have to withdraw - that would sort the problem - so in fact in theory it's a totally resolvable issue.

However, I think even if that was sorted I believe there are still possibly some issues there that wouldn't.

That's just my take on it.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 02/06/2017 23:51

wait, what? so he whips it out and you open your mouth to receive a load of spunk? Why?!

Sometimes, yeah. Why not? I love to swallow.

Heebejeebees · 02/06/2017 23:52

Pea - Jesus, you either hate me or sex given how you're replying so angrily defiant. I'll bite. Mostly, If you're into sex, or caring if your partners sexual needs are met, then yes cumming is a huge part of it. I'd probably have argued your point 2 years back.

Im no way an advocate of doing things you are not comfortable with. Im an advocate of talking / agreeing / being on the same page.

This honestly is a recent thing for me. I've seen both sides. I was raped at 17, now 37 and I've only my just begun to enjoy sex. It's about agreeing / talking / relaxing.

I fully agree about incompatibility. I mentioned it earlier in the thread. I hope OP works on compromise that works or finds someone that meets needs.

Not looking for a row. I'm actually quite a nice person. 😘

coconuttella · 02/06/2017 23:56

VestalVirgin - being in a relationship is about compromise, unless you're friggin lucky and agree EVERYTHING!!

Agree.... You can compromise with sex in the same way as anything else... but compromising within parameters you are comfortable with.

Whereas I agree that the OP shouldn't have to accept her partner doing that if she doesn't like it, I'm a bit Confused at the level of general squeamishness on here about a bit of semen on the body!

Heebejeebees · 02/06/2017 23:59

Coconutella - agree 100%.

supermoon100 · 03/06/2017 00:08

To be be fair i don't think men mind their own cum on their own bodies. This thread is awfully prudish.

PeaFaceMcgee · 03/06/2017 00:09

Pea - Jesus, you either hate me or sex given how you're replying so angrily defiant

Neither, actually. I'm not angry or being defiant - I simply disagree with the points I highlighted Smile

Mostly, If you're into sex, or caring if your partners sexual needs are met, then yes cumming is a huge part of it

But he's not unable to come, OP hasn't said that he can't come unless it's on her - he just happily ignores her wishes and spunks on her without her consent.

Not looking for a row

Me neither, we're not having one, we're having a discussion. Tone doesn't come across always on screen x

Keepthebloodynoisedown · 03/06/2017 00:24

DeadGood is being submissive not allowed now then?
Tbf I'd rather dp came pretty much anywhere other than the sheets apart from up my nose and in my eye, that shit hurt

Heebejeebees · 03/06/2017 00:27

Pea - glad we're not rowing 😍

Ref him cumming, I doubt he'd be able to if if came in a towel each time. I know he can cum. OP said. I wouldn't cum if it was restricted so much.

Look, sex is an emotive subject. I was a scared, and a prude a while back. Now liberated and very open to apparently 'disgusting' things. Hey ho!

We are all different. Let's all talk, try to compromise, or agree to part and find a more compatible match people.

Wouldn't it be nice if we were all happy? X

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