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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to be cummed on?

304 replies

YouAreMySweetestDownfall · 02/06/2017 19:23

My dp does not do condoms and I'm not a fan of the pill. We use the withdrawal method and he, without fail cums somewhere on my body. This was the same with my Xh and most of the blokes I've been with in the past. What do they get out of it? Is it like pudding to mark your territory?

I've mentioned it to my dp and his chilled out self always says 'sure, next time' but then gets 'caught up in the moment, and it ends up somewhere on my body Hmm.

I'm not being unreasonable to resent being covered in someone's body fluids am I?

OP posts:
Highalert · 02/06/2017 20:21

So what if she doesn't swallow.

Original poster
YouAreMySweetestDownfall · 02/06/2017 20:21

No I'm not a shrinking violet but the sex topic can be a bit much.

This is my first normal relationship in ever so I'm happy to put up with a couple of sticky transgressions. However, I have learned tonight that being jizzed on is more accepted as normal than I thought.

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 02/06/2017 20:21

I don't mind swallowing but sex is usually midday or mid Peppa pig and I don t have an opportunity to shower.

Two solutions:

  1. Get him to cum in your mouth after pulling out
  2. Wet wipes.

I would be at least 573 times more keen to use a couple of wet wipes on my stomach than to change the duvet cover.

I do like sex though. And spunk. If my DP said "I don't want your bodily fluids all over me" after helping me orgasm I would be quite upset.

Original poster
YouAreMySweetestDownfall · 02/06/2017 20:22

And I do swallow but a blowjobs a treat, not day to day sex.

OP posts:
chitofftheshovel · 02/06/2017 20:23

Hang about. Did someone at the beginning of this thread actually suggest that being cummed on made OP a victim of abuse?

memyselfandaye · 02/06/2017 20:26

I'd rub his fucking nose in it if deliberately spaffed on my lovely clean bedding.

Sparklingbrook · 02/06/2017 20:28

'spaffed?'. MN has just turned into an episode of the Inbetweeners. Grin

Mollie85 · 02/06/2017 20:30

What Maisypops said.
You've reached an empasse unless you're prepared to tell him it's condoms or nothing.
Or you continue to get jizzed on.

(Seriously though... you need to rethink your "contraception")

What are you going to OP?

DrDreReturns · 02/06/2017 20:30

chitofftheshovel I think the point the poster was making was that being cummed on against your will is abuse / sexual assualt. Which is true.

dementedma · 02/06/2017 20:30

Yabu for using the phrase "cummed on"

Highalert · 02/06/2017 20:31

Yes. me too,memyself. I'd rather go without sex than have to wash my bedding every couple of months.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 02/06/2017 20:32

And I do swallow but a blowjobs a treat, not day to day sex.

A blowjob is a "treat"? Your poor DP.

I'm on the pill so DH usually comes in me, but if he doesn't for some reason, I always swallow.

IloveBanff · 02/06/2017 20:32

"Did someone at the beginning of this thread actually suggest that being cummed on made OP a victim of abuse?"

Pretty much. Their exact words were "If you've asked him not to and he still does, it's assault."

They'll be back to suggest that you 'ring 101 and log it with the police' soon, I expect OP.

Original poster
YouAreMySweetestDownfall · 02/06/2017 20:33

He's not abusive. It's irritating but believe me I know abusive and it's not him.

What's wrong with with cummed on Confused

OP posts:
user1493759849 · 02/06/2017 20:34

I don't think someone being cummed on - when they have requested not to be - makes them a victim of abuse. But at the other end of the spectrum, why do some people assume that any woman who doesn't want cum shot all over her body, and doesn't want to take it in her mouth, is some kind of desperately frigid old lump who lies there like a corpse in a chapel of rest?

Really fucks me off it does. Hmm

It's like I used to know a woman who called me 'boring' for not wanting anal sex, and DH used to know a man who called US boring for not being into swinging. Just fuck off and mind your own business. I have zero fucking interest in your opinions. Me and DH have always had a perfectly good sex life. And just because we don't do the same 'stuff' as you, that doesn't make the sex you have better than ours! Hmm

NotMyPenguin · 02/06/2017 20:34

If you'd like to more effectively avoid pregnancy (but still not bother with condoms) then do look up Taking Charge of Your Fertility (TCOYF) by Toni Weschler. Life changing! Up to you how you choose to handle risky times (avoid sex, use condoms, take the risk of withdrawal method) but you don't have to worry at all the rest of the time. I used it to successfully avoid getting pregnant for 3.5 years and then used it to conceive -- which happened first time we tried.

Highalert · 02/06/2017 20:35

Oh god here we go with the competitive sexing.

Code42 · 02/06/2017 20:35

It's called "Vatican Roulette" for a reason, OP Grin

WetsTheFinger · 02/06/2017 20:37

Take a receptacle to bed. Might I suggest a ramekin? Or maybe a mason jar - fill it up, let it set, stick a wick in and you've got a nice Yankee candle.

pinkisugarmouse · 02/06/2017 20:38

There are other contraception choices; it doesn't have to be condoms or the pill. There is the IUD/IUS, cap, diaphragm, implant, injections and of course sterilisation.
I use the IUD which is sometimes known as the copper coil. It can be inserted by a doctor or a nurse. It takes the same amount of time as having a smear. It causes some cramping for an hour or two and then it sits there for years. The IUS is similar but this has hormones as well. The IUS can stay put for 5yrs the IUD 10. They both have 'threads' which hang down. If you have a low lying cervix (like me) the nurse or doctor can trim them. I admit I got my (now ex) husband to trim them but for be careful and do not attempt it yourself. I contraception education for girls is pretty rubbish because I came out of school only knowing about condoms and the combined pill. Go and have a chat at your local family planning clinic there are lots of options.
As for your him cumming on you, well I have to admit I like it myself but then I like giving oral a lot and enjoy giving it more than penetration and hubbie is 71 so penetration is a bit less of a certainty for him, but oral always hits the spot. Sorry if TMI. But it's personal choice and if you don't like it he shouldn't do it. I would suggest a towel rather than having a wet patch. A towel seems a bit nicer than a box of tissues.
But if you really don't want to get pregnant I would recommend you find a contraceptive which works for you both.

Twinkie1 · 02/06/2017 20:38

I'd rather he cummed on me, I'm waterproof.

Highalert · 02/06/2017 20:39

One of those GU dessert ramekins would work. Everyone has loads of them in the cupboard.

Highalert · 02/06/2017 20:40

Is it me? I hate the word cum.

ComputerUserNotTrained · 02/06/2017 20:40

That would be a Wankee candle, surely?

SecretNetter · 02/06/2017 20:41

Get him to cum in your mouth after pulling out

Eeewwww. I wouldn't want a willy that's just been covered in my bodily fluids anywhere near my mouth!

I'm amazed at the comments suggesting he aims for the sheet or duvet Shock Just...why? Why deliberately cover your bedding in cum? I'd much rather it was on me where it can be easily wiped off with a wet wipe. The only time it pisses me off is if it gets in my hair because that's proper inconvenient.