To ask anyone awake to keep me sane till midnight?

[Welshmaenad]

My final assignment result - the one that determines if I pass or fail my degree - is released at midnight.

I started out wanting a First - to be honest now I'll just be happy to pass! It's been a rough three years, I've lost both my parents, have been ill with a chronic pain condition, and my marriage disintegrated and I've done the last year as a single mum. So I can forgive myself for not getting a First but I really, really need to pass. I have worked my arse off.

So can anyone distract/entertain me? Tell me something funny or happy or a joke or just something, I am going crazy!!

Not long now! Sounds like you have done amazingly well to get through.
Funny thing that happened today, took my apple out of bag at work, to find I had put an onion in my bag instead. Thank goodness I looked! Was gutted though!

Oh gosh, how stressful! Frankly, given everything you have been through, I'd say you are already pretty amazing for surviving/ keeping going through such a difficult year. I hope you get a first but really you've already achieved so much more than that. Xx

What degree did you do?

Signing in! And wishing you all the best / keeping fingers crossed for a good result

Well done for not giving up on your studies!

Q. Wjy did the condom cross the road?

A. It was pissed off

Holy shit, op. After everything you've been through, it's amazing you are still functioning let alone anything else. I'm in awe. My brother, dad and mum all died in the space of four years and I couldn't pick myself up off the floor for about 18 months.

Goodness now I'm tense!

Here's a joke

What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!

Its the only joke I know

You can help me with the crossword? It's cryptic, sorry.

Did smoking make it sleepy? (6)

Oh wow how nerve racking!

Not long to go now

Wow, I really admire you. You've done brilliantly. I hope you get the result you want.

Ooh, what degree?

Sorry, I'm hopelessly nosey

Good luck. You are amazing just for getting through all the crap and carrying on with your studies!

Shame there's not a good parking thread to occupy you! Have a look st the vegetable friend thread.... that will kill 5 mins! Well done btw. I could never have done what you have x

Fingers crossed!

What's brown and sticky? Terrible I know - massively impressed with your stick ability - I did an ma distance learning and it was bloody hard with the rest of life colliding with my studies - well done you and good luck

Love the jokes! My favourite: what cheese can you use to hide a horse in?

Marscapone.

It's a Social Work degree, so very intense, and a total of 9 months in full time work placement on top of academic work! I'm amazed I'm still alive and also that my children are!

I won't get a first - averaging out the marks I already have, I'd need about 90% on this dissertation and I don't think I've done that well. But a pass will be fine for me. A 2:1 would be thrilling!

bigcat did you eat the onion?

It's only short yet, but this might be a nice distraction:

Is this one of the worst-ever Facebook selling group posts?

(sorry, that's not a link, but it's the title of another thread)

Good luck, OP

Teatimebear is the answer kipper?

A. A stick

Oh keeping my fingers crossed for you op! You have had a shitty time so to have done a degree is fantastic seeing there's no champagne

I won't still be Around by midnight (just sleep... nothing sincere... or is sleep in that catagory now?!?!)
But best of luck to you, whatever you've achieved be proud!

I didn't eat the onion thank goodness, the rustling distracted me!