To ask anyone awake to keep me sane till midnight?

[Welshmaenad]

My final assignment result - the one that determines if I pass or fail my degree - is released at midnight.

I started out wanting a First - to be honest now I'll just be happy to pass! It's been a rough three years, I've lost both my parents, have been ill with a chronic pain condition, and my marriage disintegrated and I've done the last year as a single mum. So I can forgive myself for not getting a First but I really, really need to pass. I have worked my arse off.

So can anyone distract/entertain me? Tell me something funny or happy or a joke or just something, I am going crazy!!

wounded does your name begin with an m, is it your birthday today? That's a friend of mines favourite jokes, is it you?!

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

Nacho cheese!!

Fingers crossed for you!

Here's my favourite joke:

People call my grandfather Spider-Man. He doesn't have any superpowers, he just really struggles to get out of the bath.

I'm in. No good at jokes but I'm awake!
Bless your 10 yr old!!

Useless fact: I caught the sun today. The red catching of the sun. Feeling pretty toasty on my back right now!

Good luck Welsh

9 minutes to go lovely

Eileen! I fucking lean.

Apocolypitic, you are a sick genius!!!! (with a terrible sense of humour!)

I keep guessing the answers but by the time I post people have posted them so I just look like I'm repeating their answers.

That's quite sad, isn't it? (not worse than Welsh's issue) but, i COULD start a thread about it

mikey paracetamol

Why did the ocean roar?

How many psychotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change!

Not long now! Good luck op.

Mikey - cos parrots eat em all = paracetamol

Because it saw the sea wave.

Thanks Choppolata

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

What do you call a sheep with a crisp packet on it's head?

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, you're a poo.

Crisp packet - no idea

Ooh mikey dunno?

A cloud.

Not long! I graduated a year ago (Not social work though, that sounds intense) I remember the wait all too well.

what's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

sorry, archie this thread's moving so fast...

Big ish who?

[is the punchline an offer of a sale of a weekly newspaper???? Sorry, it came to me as I was typing it!]

mikey a cloud!

Because the sea weed

keep we use that lightbulb joke for social workers too!

Hello, signing in -good luck OP

What do you call a Frenchman who wears sandals?

Phillipe Phillop.

Russell! ( rustle)

Noeleen

Good luck! You deserve a medal to have completed the course after all you've been through.
Xxxxxxxx