To ask anyone awake to keep me sane till midnight?

[Welshmaenad]

My final assignment result - the one that determines if I pass or fail my degree - is released at midnight.

I started out wanting a First - to be honest now I'll just be happy to pass! It's been a rough three years, I've lost both my parents, have been ill with a chronic pain condition, and my marriage disintegrated and I've done the last year as a single mum. So I can forgive myself for not getting a First but I really, really need to pass. I have worked my arse off.

So can anyone distract/entertain me? Tell me something funny or happy or a joke or just something, I am going crazy!!

And Welsh - believe me -she would be terribly proud

keep I've only just caught up on impatient cow

Woolly jumper!

These are terrible, I love them.

Ok ok - erm, what do you call a sheep with 3 legs?

Everything crossed for you OP!!

Joke: knock knock

sorry x-post with Apocalpitic

Welsh, it's amazing you're carrying on a family tradition. I'm sure your mum would be really, really proud of you tonight. x

Ok, if we're doing crap jokes and it's 20 to 12....

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea!

smoking turns the fish into a kipper - to kip is to sleep so by smoking did it turn into a kipper - well yes for the fish and if someone taking a kip or sleep is a kipper the smoking made it sleepy - urgh my brain hurts. I don't usually get these but got this one straight away. Not sure if it is cryptic or lateral!

Who's there?

Good luck!

What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror? Halloumi!

Good luck OP, what a crap time you've had & what an incredible show of strength to keep going 😊

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It drove down the lane and turned into a field!!! Badaboom tish...!

Why are theee no aspirins in the jungle?

Horse went into a bar, barman said "why the long face?"

Apocalyptichorsewoman Jake????? A broken carpet???? Sorry, not a clue

ArchieStar Who's there?

I'm under strict orders to call my boyfriend (LDR) and text my sister but when I've done that I promise I will come back and update you.

My ten year old is pacing around her room, she's nervous for me. I wish she would go to sleep!

Apocalytic - what do do you call a sheep with 3 legs

I have my fingers crossed for you Welshmaenad!

I'm going to give you my very favourite joke, and I don't share this lightly...

How do you make an apple puff?
.
.
.
Chase it round the garden

Cos the parrots eat em all!

How exciting, good luck!

Eileen!

Choppolata did the parrots eat them all????

keepserving big ish

Apple puff! Lol!

Finger, toes and a few internal organs crossed for you Welsh!

(Whispers: Not long now, keep focused on the jokes, whilst remembering to breathe!)

What's white and can't climb trees?

A fridge

Good luck with your results!

You've made my night I know an Eileen

Why does no aspirin = parrots?