To ask people not to stare at my son

[AlletrixLeStrange]

I'm posting this here with the hope more people read it.
I have a son with ASD and today was a bad day, constant meltdowns, asking to go home and attempts to escape me but we had stuff we needed to do and no car with us (in the garage) so we couldn't just leave as we normally would.
I can deal with his meltdowns, he's my son and I've learnt how to cope with them. To be honest, a lot of it goes over the top of my head now and I won't play along with them unless I know he needs my direct attention.
I also know it's a bit shitty when you're trying to shop and there's a kid screaming next to you, but I just can't care about that.
He's having a difficult time out of routine and with the business of holidays, he was supposed to go to his dads today but he cancelled again, he hasn't seen him in almost 2 weeks and my DS is confused.
But why do people have to stare?!
Today was the second time I've ever snapped at people in public, because dealing with my DS is hard enough, I don't need lots of pairs of eyes glaring at me as well. He's a child, with a disability, finding the day and surroundings hard. He's not a show.

You've phoned the police ten times in a year about a child screaming in a supermarket?! Bet they love you. How many of those ten have ended up going to court? You'd know, for sure, being the eyewitness and all.

You've phoned the police after seeing kids having meltdowns in the supermarket?

What do you say to the operator?

Alletrix I have a 10 year old DD with ASD and a 9 year old DS who is being assessed for ASD/ADD. I bought one of these bags. Useful in more ways than one

asdbrightideas.co.uk/asd/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=197

Yeah sure you have

That link didn't take me to a bag TheFrench but that site does have lots of stuff I've been looking for so thank you

This is me trying not to lose my rag with granny -bites tongue so hard blood drools from mouth-

Bugger.. I'm pants at techy stuff on my phone

I need one of those bags to stick on the back of the buggy so everyone who tutts or keeps glancing over when DS is having a meltdown in the doctors may actually look away for once -.- it's the waiting that always gets him bless him

TheFrench love it, the parenting advice bit reminds me of that time a lady said to me "he just needs a good 'hiding' that lad" (I had to ask my mum what that meant)

For someone without a child with ASD it's hard to tell they aren't just being naughty. Not everyone knows your child can't help it.

Busy so it's ok to stare at a naughty kid then? Because all parents with naughty kids are shit parents and really appreciate that.

No I meant that she has to realise that when they hear a shout people always turn round to look. It's human nature. She thinks they are staring at her child because he has ASD. They aren't they are just looking at the noise. And yes I generally do look round when a child is being naughty and yet to catch the eye of the parent to say it's ok we've all been there and it gets easier. I darent do that now in case someone like the OP rants at me

Groupie So when you see/hear a child having a tantrum in public you think there is a possibility it might be a case of abuse and the police need to be called???

REALLY?? Everything seems to be abuse these days.

How about poke your nose out and stop being such a busy body? That sounds like a better idea.

Well, as has been said nigh on a million times now, an instinctive look is one thing, watching/staring is completely another. Staring is rude whatever the circumstances.

As for the 'called the police 10 times' joker, if I wasn't so concerned that they may actually be telling the truth I would laugh.

My mum only has one leg, people still stare at her. Ridiculous.

Kids aren't worse behaved now than ever before, and it isn't hard to look the other way and think "thank goodness that isn't me today" if you do see a 'badly behaved' child.

Even if the kid doesn't have autism you have no right to judge AT ALL.
I've seen loads of kids play up in public over the years and managed not to be Mrs snotty judgey pants. It's quite easy really.

My ds(10) has adhd and autism. He often gets overwhelmed and shouts at me. People always stare and tut. The older ones are the worst and often they comment within earshot 😠

I got a badge saying 'I have autism, please be patient with me' think it was from eBay.

I tend to use it when we have to go out and my son is having a bad day.

I truly sympathise op, it's hard and takes a good few years to develop a thick skin. And even then you wobble sometimes.

Had to go out the other day to get my oldest son hair cut, while waiting my asd boy was having a good old moan he didn't want to be there! He wanted to be home. Had my usual bag of stuff to help him. Nope not happening mum! A lady walks in with her boys then spends the next 10 mins staring and could feel her judging me and my son. Gave her a few raised eyebrows in the end I leant over and said he has got autism, so stop bloddy staring! She did look ashamed, but it really does get on my nerves that we have to do this sometimes. Your doing great op!

These threads always get the same goady posts on them. It gets dull.

Wow. I've heard it all on here now. Phone 101 and log disabled child meltdown.

My "yeah sure you have" post was directed at poster who talked about calling police btw.

Not read the full thread but this is something we deal with too.
One day so might be able to tell people not to be so rude.
Instead I just try and get home asap.

I've had "does she take Ritalin? She needs it"
"If that was my child she'd be getting a leathering"

You should just say "oh well i don't like to beat disabled kids its not very nice"