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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell his girlfriend I slept with him?

705 replies

Minnievintage · 01/06/2017 09:29

I'm on a well known dating site, been single for 3 years. I started talking to this guy who lives in my area but I don't know.

We got on really really well, and after 3 weeks of chatting on the dating site he suggested we meet. I was really into him so I agreed. So 2 weekends ago we met up at a pub that he suggested about 15 miles away from where we both lived - at the time it didn't cross my mind to think it was odd.

We got on really really well and I fancied the pants off him. It's been a long time since I found someone I connected with and fancied like that so I was so excited. We kissed at the end of the night very passionately. We then spent all of that week texting each other as he gave me his phone number - great I thought, this could end my dry spell!!!!

Weekend just gone, I suggested we meet again. He was abit hesitant said he had a few things on. Things had started to get progressively more sexual in the conversations between us so when I made a joke about something quite suggestive he quickly changed his tune and said we could meet at the weekend.

To cut a long story short, he came to my house and I cooked a meal for us and after too many wines we ended up sleeping together. He got out of bed afterwards and started to get dressed saying he had to go but wasn't off with me at all. I then asked what he was doing on the Sunday and he replied "I'm seeing my girlfriend!!!" To say I was flabbergasted is an understatement!!

I don't have Facebook but my friend did some digging and she's found out who is girlfriend is and they are engaged due to be married at Christmas. I don't know his girlfriend personally but I know of her. AIBU to tell her what happened? I know of it was me getting married I would want to know!

OP posts:
svalentine60 · 20/06/2017 10:33

I disagree. the only person who will be hurt here is her and she has done nothing to you.

brianna5 · 14/07/2017 11:31

SuperFlyHigh
Sure my mess indicated what I meant and was left for op. Thanx

Jupitar · 14/07/2017 15:54

I'd send a copy of his dating profile to her and also put a comment on it saying he's been seen out having lunch with other women.

I've been cheated on and I wish someone had told me. If she already knows and turns a blind eye then no damage has been done, you've told her something she already knows.

Cheaters get away with it because no one wants to be the one who tells...

Bluntness100 · 14/07/2017 16:07

I wouldn't tell her. For the simple reason of self preservation. Either one of them could be a nut job. There is a good chance she will blame you, and possibly even publicly harass you as being some special kind of slut who used her womanly wiles to sleep with her poor fiancé, or he will harass you because you told and you ended his relationship.

In a world where nutters didn't exist, yes, I'd tell her, she would thank me kindly and bin him and he would not try to seek revenge on me, but scurry away back under a rock.

Are you sure that neither of them are of that special nutty variety? If so, then tell her, if you're not so sure, I'd steer well clear. So many times someone tells and then lives to regret it because either one of the couple seeks revenge and makes the person who had sex with their partners life a misery.

milliemolliemou · 14/07/2017 16:07

Don't know dating sites but can you comment on them? I would certainly let her know he's on them before she makes the mistake of a lifetime.

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