to be pissed off at parents' reaction to dog?

[MacarenaFerreiro]

We have been thinking about getting a family dog for a few months. My kids are very excited about this idea and are old enough to understand the work which is involved with getting a dog. Yesterday we went to see puppies and put a deposit on one - she'll be coming home as soon as she's big enough to leave her mum.

Kids understandably excited about this and were desperate to share their news with everyone, including grandparents. My parents have made it clear in the past they very much disapprove of us getting a dog. To be clear - we live a fair distance from my parents, so it's not like i'm going to be expecting them to dogsit, have the dog while we're on holiday or be involved with the dog in any way at all. Plus I'm in my 40s, FFS and it's none of their business anyway.

When kids phoned Granny to tell her about the puppy she wouldn't even talk to them about it. They came off the phone quite deflated, "granny doesn't like us getting a puppy". AIBU to be a bit cross about this?

Anyone who dislikes dogs is weird!

So many things i want to say, First. Well done on doing your research in finding the right puppy for you. Rescue dogs don't work for everyone - but not all have issues.

Second, i work with dogs in various capacities and my MIL works with child mental health. We work together often. My dog is a PAT dog and she works specifically with people with fear.
You do NOT need an NHS referral, at all. I have people contacting me for group and individual visits, so i'm not sure why they told you this.

Anyways, good luck with your puppy OP.

I don't think YABU at all. I sympathise entirely. My Dad always had pets as a child - rabbits and Dachshunds mostly - but my Mum - EVEN THOUGH she had a rabbit and then later a black lab - hates animals. She hates anything with fur and it's always been a big thing.
Anyway. DH and I got a couple of rabbits a few years ago. Two years ago one died and we were very distressed by it. Needless to say our remaining rabbit is very much loved and precious to us and we allow him to run around the house as he will. My mother hates him and constantly turns up her nose about how unclean my house must be (he's 'house broken', so he's quite a clean bunny!) and she's always trying to shoo the bunny away from her feet by kicking at him. Recently when she followed me into DS's room while I changed his nappy, the bunny followed me in and tried to come over to sniff DS but my mother (deeming the bunny too close to her feet) ACTUALLY kicked him. Poor little thing ran away, hitting the wall in his fright. I was LIVID. Her excuse was he shouldn't have been in the nursery. I told her that this was the bunny's home and he could go wherever he damn well pleased and if she didn't like it she could leave. Phew. Rant over.
You should be able to have whatever pet you like in your own home and it matters SFA what Granny thinks about it

I would be furious if someone kicked my pet! I once went on a date with someone who had professed to love dogs but then tried to kick mine when he met her. End of date.

OMG MiniMummy what a nasty thing for her to do! Poor bunny you must have been so upset and angry

They're mean to deflate the kids' excitement. And bred by responsible breeders dogs are just as acceptable as a rescue dog if what you're looking for has to meet specific requirements family wise - eg size, temperament, being socialised to your particular situation. Don't let anybody burst your bubble.

You do NOT need an NHS referral, at all. I have people contacting me for group and individual visits, so i'm not sure why they told you this

It must work differently in different areas - I contacted the head of hte local PAT group after seeing a piece on telly about how they took the dogs into Uni at exam times to calm the students down. We spoke at length and he said he would only work with her under the guidance of CAMHS. We do know people who say "i've got a dog, he's as soft as anything" but they don't realise that's not quite the same thing....

Anyway, she's still super excited about the puppy and counting the days until she comes home.

I'd be bloody disapproving too if any child of mine went out and bought a dog from a breeder while rescued dogs are put down every day. Indicates you think it's a toy rather than an animal.

WTF?

I agree that the issue is that they could have shown excitement for the children's sake even if they did not agree with the decision. That's the reply they could have said to you, not deflate the poor kids.

Off topic- I have worked with rescue dogs for many years so always promote getting one but at least it sounds like you did your research and found a good breeder.

For anyone thinking of getting a dog:
Some rescue dogs are nervous /ill treated, most are not.
Pedigrees (or these blasted "hot crosses") are now more common in rescues than mongrels.
You can get a puppy in rescue - often pregnant bitches are handed in so the whole litter needs homing. Have just rehome a 9 week old bichon who is perfect...
Some rescues don't rehome to families with young children, some do. Shop around. Make sure it's a responsible rescue though - home checks, neuters, offers back up and is honest. There are sadly lots of cowboys out there.
You may have to search/wait /travel to find the perfect rescue dog for you but you should have to do that to find a good breeder too.
Puppies and sought after dogs (good with kids etc) often don't even make it on to rescue websites, you have to call/register - and keep in contact, rescues get dozens and dozens of calls a day.
Puppies are adorable but naughty and chew everything in sight. Also v important to teach bite inhibition as will mouth - this can hurt as they grow and become less funny. At 8 weeks they are tiny but they v v v quickly grow!
I'm not saying don't get a pup but don't dismiss a slightly older dog who is past all the chewy/naughty stage, often already has lots of training and has many years of love to give. If you do go for a breeder then do your research and be careful! We deal with so many puppy farmers/dealers its frightening. Illegal imports are growing at exponential rate too. Always. See. The. Mother. And visit several times

Good luck with the pup OP, it sounds like you have a good set up ready to deal with all the fun!

If you don't expect or take help from your parents (financial or other) then of course it's none of their business and ynbu.

psicat - excellent non-judgmental information! xx

I'm sorry your PAT service works that way, I guess I should be pleased I get to help people without the need for NHS here!
I'm pleased she's looking forward to the puppy, set your boundaries quickly and stick to them, and all will be fine!

AnathemaPulsifer - as someone said above, child friendly dogs rarely make it on to websites... they'll be snapped up by new families very quickly. Contact your local rescue, get a home check and assessment done, then start looking for your new family member 😊