To wonder what you would think if your OH said that

[Poisongirl81]

Before being with you in his life he has had sex with men! A couple of times just for the sex. He's also had long term things with women and fancies me very much. Just don't know how to feel.

Homophobia is the systematic oppression of homosexual people. Not wanting to fuck someone anymore isn't stopping them from working or infringing on their lives. How are we now defining homophobia? And are we expecting the same from gay men? They must never say they'd be grossed out by sex with a woman? There is a sex act that requires people to shove Jelly eggs up their foofs and bums and pretend they've given birth to aliens. I do not hate people who do this, I don't discriminate against people who do this but if dh said it was a thing with him and a previous partner I'd be like this .
Is that allowed or am I a kink shamer?

Aren't the majority of women shown to be turned on by watching two women have sex? If that's the case and they're simply put off by two men it's not actually simply homophobia is it? It's about a specific sex act that they can't picture themselves in and it putting them off their partner. Not that you need a reason to not fuck someone ever.

Of course it's allowed. Same as not wanting to fuck someone who fucks the same sex is allowed. No-one has once said you aren't allowed to have any preference you like.

Why is that so hard to understand?

I feel that on both sides of the argument people are taking this to extremes to suit their own agenda, trying to draw parallels with things hat aren't really true parallels at all (myself included)

I have never once said that people are not entitled to their own sexual preferences, nor denied that we all have these sexual preferences.

I guess for myself and prospero and others the fundamental differences in how we feel are this:

I do not think having experimented with gay sex, or having participated in any sex act between two consenting adults defines a person, and certainly wouldn't change the way I saw a person I had been in a long term relationship with.

Also, I think I'd like to clear up the fact that I don't think everyone who would find bisexuality a turn off is a closeted homophobe.

I definitely think those who have said it would make them consider a man less manly and those who have been so utterly squeamish about gay sex have homophobic views.

I don't care what any two consenting adults get up to sexually.

I genuinely don't know how I'd feel if my husband said he'd had encounters with men before me - we've been together for 15 years nearly and he's never mentioned it before so I guess it's not an issue? It might have given me pause at the beginning of the relationship, maybe enough for me to call time one it.

If all my sons told me they were gay...well how is that comparable as I don't sleep with my sons?

Bisexual man .. still the same person, he just might understand sex better frankly.

I know my mum would be horrified and never see him again ( but she also things the man 100% has to pay for the dates, has to have a nice car and that he should be in charge - even when it's about her bloody home).
Sorry slight divergence

And he's probably the top ( aka bummer)

But have you still not realised the difference between not being attracted to a physical aspect of a person, and not being attracted to someone because of something they did once?

So why would you not be attracted to someone who doesn't play a musical instrument, if that is the case?

And also, why not obese people?