To wonder what you would think if your OH said that

[Poisongirl81]

Before being with you in his life he has had sex with men! A couple of times just for the sex. He's also had long term things with women and fancies me very much. Just don't know how to feel.

I was saying "seriosuly" in your response to saying you haven't asked different scenario questions.. keep up.

I was replying to Blazing. There are other people here, do keep up.

😂

live long

Because I dont find it attractive. I dont need explain any further. It's just my preference. Im not sure why that's hard to grasp.

But there is a reason you don't find it attractive. These things aren't random. You don't have to share the reason if you don't want to, but we both know there is one.

Beardoren

Take your ignorant misogyny elsewhere. Your views are ludicrous

They aren't. And she's clearly not misogynist.

Oh you aren't half pathetic lol.

Trying to goad posters into giving a reason where sometimes there just isn't one.

I honestly used to say I could never date someone with glasses (I wear them myself) I had no reason why, they just were off putting for me. My partner wears glasses.

Sometimes, in fact most times, there is no reason behind why we do or don't find someone attractive. That's all there is to it.

*I'm assuming this is yet another instance of you misquoting me to suit your own argument.

I said surely you can see that people will likely assume it is due to distasteful ideas about men who have sex with men if you're unwilling to admit any kind of rationale behind your preference. Which I stand by.

Of course, this was before I was made aware that you, specifically, Pallisers, had mentioned that it was due to a previous relationship with a bisexual person. As discussed. Which shifts the possible explanation in your case to a slightly different area, perhaps, but doesn't really dig any deeper on the misguided ideas front, just introduces more potential... flavours of distasteful or misguided ideas... I suppose.*

I wasn't even thinking of you actually -whoever you are. And I didn't quote anyone in that post.

I really don't need your ham-fisted offensive comments on my life thanks. You are extremely rude when there is no need to be. How about digging deeper into your own motivations for that that instead of taking digs at some stranger on the internet.

Of course there is one! If you are too uncomfortable to examine yourself for one that is your own affair, but you're not quite as unthinking as you claim.

is it so hard to understand that for some of us sexual attraction is a big part of a relationship for us?

0/10.

Summer

So it's discrimination if a straight woman doesn't want to sleep with a gay or no man

Can you not appreciate how that seeks to erode the very basis of the entire concept of individual consent?

No I do not and never have discriminated against people based on their sexual orientation. But my vagina is mine. I'll do what I want with it with whom I choose and it's got bugger all to do with anyone else.

Bi not no

live long

your arrogance that you know me or what I think or feel is quite breathtaking.

Would you harang a gay man as to why he may not want to sleep with a bisexual?

Because I was born that way. That will have to do you.

dixie 0/10 did you have a point or not?

If you're going to quote me then at least do it in context.
That quote you've highlighted was in reply to another poster, who has called various posters shallow for hypothetically finding their partner less attractive if they become overweight/disabled and whatever other ridiculous scenario she posed.

*I wasn't even thinking of you actually -whoever you are.

Hah. You assume I've read a post of yours from earlier on in the thread when you open a dialogue by responding to a post of mine not even directed at you, and now you pretend you don't know who I am and are too lazy to scroll up and check if you've spoken to me? Who do you think is buying that?

Anyway, too many GFs in this thread. Or one or two and a few sock puppets. Some awfully similar deliberately obtuse posts. I am very much out, have a nice Friday evening!*

you obviously are way more invested in this than I am. Yes I did quote you earlier. No I did not go back up through the thread to remind myself of posts I had replied to. No your name was not graven into my memory - apologies for that if it upset you.

Would you like to address your unnecessary and nasty commentary on my relationships and my life? Or even that you are calling me a goady fucker and a sock puppet?

I suspect not.

You're quite patronising lol.

Just as a matter of interest how many of you would quite a relationship because a partner had been involved in a threesome beforehand or bdsm or swinging. And if not why is this different.

I would love to know how I am misogynistic?! I have emphasised countless times that consent trumps all. But as life long said, reasons can be twattish.

Beadoren

I think you just have to accept that we are all different and all have different sexual preferences. Some gay men won't sleep with bisexuals, some straight women won't sleep with bisexuals, some straight men are happy to sleep with straight and bi women. We as a society are all a big mish mash of different views and preferences and as long as you and your partner are happy then I don't see why other stranger's sexual preferences has got you in such a froth that you've spent an entire Friday night on it.

I've read the entire thread and here's what I think some of the posters who are labeling this homophobic are missing: a lot of what constitutes attraction is unexplainable and unquantifiable. I think people think that it's easy to look at society and say not attracted to bisexual men = homophobic.

But sexual attraction doesn't work like that. Why not BDSM = wife beater? If your DH likes blowjobs, it's because they like you in a submissive position? If you like open relationships, you are selfish?

See how it doesn't work when you just transpose for any other attribute?

I wouldn't be attracted to a bisexual guy because I find the thought of my partner being sexually active with men a sexual turn off. I don't think it makes him less manly but it would feel less special somehow. I think I like the idea of my partner being attracted to me as a woman. I really enjoy owning my sexuality as a woman. I just love having boobs and a womanly figure and I like the idea of a man thinking that it's not just cool and sexy but also a bit mysterious. Like we complete each other physically. It just wouldn't feel as special if he were attracted to other men.

I love men who love women's bodies exclusively. Honestly, I wouldn't be attracted to a man who had dated trans women either. But then a man whose past gfs were androgynous would also be a push for me.

Fundamentally, I think the idea that you need to just interrogate these preferences because "society" makes no sense. Relationships are overwhelming and hopefully life long. Sex is a deeply instinctual thing that is supposed to survive so many changes and crises. Realistically, being "open minded" is not a strong alternative to your own physical instincts.

It must be very frustrating for people to keep coming back to this thread to see people saying they don't like it 'just because'.

I get that. Very unsatisfying.

But that's really all the explanation you're going to get.

Yes, it may well mean people have homophobic tendencies. It may not, as well. Also frustrating, because it would be great to just be able to say, 'you're homophobic', have the other person agree, and that be the end of the matter.

What's not going to happen is people changing their minds over something as personal, and matter-of-preference, as sexual attraction.

But there is a reason you don't find it attractive. These things aren't random. You don't have to share the reason if you don't want to, but we both know there is one.

Think of all the things you find a turn on, and all the things you find a turn off. Can you explain why you feel the way you do, about each one?

I really, really doubt it.

But just in case you can, I bet it tells you some extremely uncomfortable things about yourself.

Not attracted to obese men or women? Why not? Not attracted to very short or very skinny people? Why not? Men with long hair? Beards? No teeth?

Or do you not discriminate at all, and you are attracted to literally every other adult on the planet?

Don't be silly, I know exactly why I'm not attracted to obese people. Or old people. Or people who don't play a musical instrument. Of course I know!

But have you still not realised the difference between not being attracted to a physical aspect of a person, and not being attracted to someone because of something they did once?