To wonder what you would think if your OH said that

[Poisongirl81]

Before being with you in his life he has had sex with men! A couple of times just for the sex. He's also had long term things with women and fancies me very much. Just don't know how to feel.

It would bother me. I would not want to be in a serious relationship with someone who was bi. That is my personal preference. So I would rather know fairly upfront whether someone is bisexual or not.

It would also bother me if my partners' preferred way of having sex was anal. Another deal-breaker for me.

What do YOU think or feel OP?

Did he use safe sex?
I'd be concerned if he preferred anal over vaginal sex.

It would bother me and I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with him.

It would bother me and I would end the relationship.

Wouldn't bother me. The preferring anal would though.

Would be a deal breaker for me I'm afraid.

Sounds bi-sexual. Does it bother you, it would me but if it doesn't bother you then that is what matters. Is he faithful to you now? If not does that bother you, does he/did be practice safe sex, has he been checked for STI's. Does he still want men or other women or just you. Depends on the answers, we all want/expect different things, it is what you want that is important.

Why would it bother you?

I thought that bisexual meant that you fancied men and women equally and so that meant that you liked having sex in the usual male and female way equally. The fact that he is favouring anal over PIV would kill the relationship for me. I just wouldn't feel like it was a proper male/female relationship.

Dh is bi. I still trust him. He has always known what monogamy is and that i eouldnt tokerate cheating with anyone. Thats no different because his last relationship was with a man.

I have never thought about him having sex with any of his exs so wouldnt spend timr thinking about him havung sex with a man.

Both mr and dh enjoy occasional anal but he doesnt prefer it.

The fact that you think he prefers it says you think he still wants to have sex with men? Do you think he is gay? Are you concerned he is actually gay but doesnt want to face up to it?

I have also known a couple of gay men that have done that. They are in denial that they are gay and call it being bi. Both endes up coming out as gay after marriage.

Only he can tell you if he is gay or bi. And like all relationships, only you can choose if you believe him and happy to continue the relationship.

Fuck me sorry for the typos

I wouldn't care one bit! If I'm attracted to someone and they're attracted to me then that's all there is to it. Their sexual history has no influence on our current sex life if it's mutually enjoyable.

Why would it bother so many posters? I'm intrigued.

If my partner consistently looked for anal sex I would wonder if he was in fact gay rather than bisexual.

Both myself and my DP are bi and have been in several same sex relationships before we got married. We have no trust problems; the past is the past and while we are both still attracted to other people of both sexes, our commitment is to each other.

Can I ask why it would be a deal breaker for some posters? I'm not being goady, I'm just curious nosey

Although we've never gone into the finer details of our past sexual histories (exact numbers to be honest) I'd have expected the whole bisexual thing to have been mentioned.

How long have you been together?

Wouldn't bother me and it wouldn't bother me if he prefers anal I'm sure there are straight guys who also prefer it.

If you don't like it then don't do it but see if as you do I'm guessing you also like it so why is it an issue if he favours it?

I like certain positions more than others doesn't make me dominant etc (depending on your view of different positions).

If it's an issue for you though that isn't wrong but I'd be honest about it being a problem sooner rather than later.

It would bother me, in fact, it would be a deal-breaker for me.

It wouldn't bother me, I assume bisexual people can mange to be faithful the same as heterosexual people can.
The preference for anal over PIV sex would be a problem though.

Curly it isn't as black and white as that. Some bi people may be attracted to one sex more than the other, or be sexually attracted to both but romantically attracted to just one sex.

Lots of straight guys prefer anal sex. I do think you're a bit homophobic and I do think it's a bit silly. That said there are probably far sillier deal-breakers. I don't know all the details but two things in his favour already are that he's honest and that he's confident, for him to tell you about things in his past that would attract stigma.

He seems like a good one but if you know you won't be able to get over it then you probably should let him be with someone who doesn't mind his sexual history.

Why would it bother you?! Why does liking sex with men make him less of a manly man?

It is homophobia.

wouldnt bother me one bit because im not a homophobe