To formula feed baby despite OH's objections.

[Herbie22]

DD is 5 weeks old and exclusively breast fed. I am finding this tough because she is either on the boob or upset.
This is my first baby so I'm not sure what I am doing. I think she might not be getting enough from me as she needs near constant feeds. I would like to top her up with formula as I literally do nothing all day/night but feed her. I know that it's hard work a newborn but I can't even walk down the road to the shops without her screaming. I don't get to see anyone and it is making me sad and lonely.

I tried to speak to OH about this and he said that he doesn't want her on formula. He said that I am making enough milk because she is gaining weight. I don't think she is gaining it fast enough though which worries me.
I also wonder if she would sleep better if she was formula fed. I am up nearly all night feeding her at the moment which is another reason I think I'm not producing enough milk as she won't settle.
I don't want to give up BF completely. Maybe just supplement her feeding but at the moment I feel like I've lost all my zest for life because all I do is sit either on the sofa or on my bed feeding. It is also damaging my relationship with OH as we can't even have dinner without DD wanting to be fed (though I do feed her just before) and I'm starting to resent him getting to do things, even popping to Tesco, without a baby attached to him.
I know I sound horribly ungrateful as I am so blessed to have DD! I just want to be able to do things other than feed her!

Just wanted to echo PP, supplementing can have a detrimental effect on your supply so if you do give formula do it at different times of day. Second expressing so DP can give a bottle (or cup if she won't take a bottle).
Also, try to go to a breastfeeding group, I found it invaluable when DD was this young.
It definitely will get easier but don't beat yourself up if you give formula

What PeaFace said. Call a breastfeeding helpline and take a look at the Kellymom website. Ask your HV for details of nearby breastfeeding drop-in groups with trained supporters.

Yes, the first few weeks can be particularly exhausting, and, yes, your boobs are yours to choose how to use them, but this decision needs to be made from a point of good, supported knowledge. It's really difficult to know what to do when it's your first and you are shattered.

Access the amazing help available from the breastfeeding charities - I really rate the BfN, but NCT and ABM are also excellent. They will not try to persuade you to keep going, but will help you with whatever you chose.

I, too, switched to formula when dc1 was only a few weeks old, but I bitterly regretted my choice. Establishing breastfeeding with dcs 2&3 was also hard, but those times I knew how to access support, and I was so much happier. I understood what I could have done differently with dc1.

I think it is a shock to find out how much time breast feeding takes.As for weight gain babies loose weight in the first 3weeks before the put it on again.
Formula won't make a difference,your babies stomach is really tiny to start with so that is why she is feeding little and often.
See your health visitor and she can reassure you that everything is ok and should be able to point you to support groups,IAm in a rural spot but even here there are groups.
At this stage you should be feeding and resting and going for gentle walks,use a sling as babies are comforted being up close.If your husband wants you to breast feed and you are happy to keep on trying then he has to do the cooking and cleaning.It does get easier are your baby's tum gets bigger but be warned there is a growth spurt at 7-8 weeks with non stop feeding when that passes they seem to get intoore of a pattern.
So congratulations and be easy on yourself you spent 40 weeks growing her and it takes quite a while to get over that.

It does get easier OP. I fully BF three DC and gradually as your milk supply settles and your baby's stomach gets bigger, you'll find that feeds are further apart.

The way milk is made is that your baby sucks and more milk is made for next time. So if your baby is wanting to feed frequently, you will make more milk.

Her dad can help by changing nappies, bathing her and supplying you with lots of nice food and drink.

Once it got easier for me, the thought of buying milk, making up feeds AND sterilising bottles made me very glad that I persevered.

Tell him that when he gets a tit out for her, day and night, he gets a say. Or, just get rid of one giant tit and feed the baby the way you want.

I hate to be this person but this is your DPs baby as well so you need to listen to his reasons for wanting you to BF. Let him feel heard and as if you're taking his opinion into consideration. He deserves it.
Babies are clingy. They go through a huge growth spurt where they constantly feed. If you look in the back of your red book you'll see the chart that outlines if they're gaining too much, too little or the right amount of weight. I know breastfeeding is such hard work but seeing your little one gain weight purely from the food your body makes them is amazing! I really struggled at the beginning too and once we hit 6 weeks it got loads easier. I'd speak to a breastfeeding nurse/HV and get help. Have your partner there as well, then he will be able to see how tough your finding it and perhaps he'll soften up about your decision.
If you really don't want to continue, I'd sit your Oh down and explain everything. Please don't start throwing about the 'It's my body and I'll do what I want' or 'my boobs my choice' because, while they are both true, ultimately he is trying to give his baby the best start in life just as you are.
Please don't stress and best of luck!

Your husband isn't actually wrong if the baby is gaining weight then you have enough milk.

Your baby also sounds not real and this is what they do.

However, your mental health is more important and if formula feeding helps lighten the load then go for it, I can understand why your partner would be upset but ultimately it's your body so your choice.

Try to be gentle with him and explain that there is virtually no difference between breast and bottle. If it wasn't for formula (albeit a special version) my daughter wouldn't be alive and she is thriving in every way. (Except the fact she is nil by mouth lol)

What you're describing in regards to breastfeeding your 5 week old sounds completely normal. It is hard. Especially at the beginning. But it does sound very normal.

*BUT
*
Your OH has no place in the decision to breastfeed or formula feed! It is not his decision at all!! If you declared you wanted to try her on tinned soup and redbull, then he can object!

I formula fed my first and really really benefitted from being able to pass feeds to my partner and parents (who I lived with for the first 3 months)

My 6 month old has only stopped feeding every 2 hours a few days ago. She still feeds every 2 hours at night.

It is very demanding and a massive commitment to breastfeed. It is your decision!

Do what right for you!!!! Be it bf or ff or mixed. as you tend to (not always before mn jump on me) sleep better if ff you find the bond is better (judging my family and friends).

Be aware, OP that many health visitors do not have specialist or up to date breastfeeding knowledge - you really are much better off seeking out advice from the sources already given in this thread x

Obviously yanbu. At all.

Don't bother getting help unless you want to, either. If continuing with bf is important to you, yes absolutely, there is some wonderful support available. But it is only of any use if bf is what you want.

Normal. Instead of not real. Fucking hell what a typo lol

I couldn't have coped without DH taking DC3 after most feeds, burping him, cuddling him, so I could take a shower.

During growth spurts though, the feeding would be constant. It was so hard. There's literally no time for anything other than feeding. Mentally draining. Physically draining.

Make sure you're eating well and drinking lots of water.

I'd be very annoyed with the 'not going on formula' comment. That is wrong on so many levels.

Go for it OP if you feel it will help. Your OH can pipe down as its not him going through all that, a lot of my friends combi feed ands it's helped them a lot

It starts to get easier from about 6 weeks, so of you want to continue ebf, then you could stick it out another week or two and see how it goes.

But adding in a bottle of formula might be exactly what you need to enable you to bf for a bit longer. It just might save your sanity.

Babies do tend to sleep better when FF, on the whole, (plenty of exceptions of course) because their stomach takes longer to digest formula. On the other hand, they are more likely to be colicky and have a bit more wind to get up.

Have you had your DD weighed recently? Is she tracking along the same centile line?

Babies do cluster feed but if this is constant perhaps the milk is not transferring effectively. Ask for help to check and possibly improve the latch and to ensure there is not a tongue tie. If you want to give formula that is your choice and should be respected but it sounds as if you are just exhausted and need some support. Six weeks is often a turning point and things can start to become a little easier going forwards. You have done really well to get this far exclusively feeding. If you decide to give formula perhaps you could try just one feed a day initially to give you a chance to have a rest and then see how you feel without having too much effect on your supply.

Well he sounds lovely...

I found bf so hard-going. I managed 5 weeks with bleeding nipples, a hungry huge baby who then started to lose weight and in pain from complications from an ecs. When the midwife came round and told me it was ok to stop bf, I literally cried with relief.

The pressure to do it nowadays is too much. It's a choice. If u can do it/want to do it then great, if not then that's fine too. Do what's right for u. Use the formula!!

I know how you feel but the cluster feeding will pass, the best advice I got was that babies do cry, so if you need to go in the shower then she will have to cry for 10 minutes, it won't do her any harm even though the crying can sound like someone is trying to pull her arms off!
Please see a breastfeeding councillor even if it's only for reassurance that she is getting enough milk (she definitely will be by the way!)
I found that if I put her in a sling I could go to the shops and she was happy just being close to me.
And if you want to give her some formula just so you can get some sleep then go for it.

Oh, and most importantly, your DH doesn't get to dictate what you do with your body.

Congratulations on your DD.

It's perfectly acceptable for a father to voice opinion on how their baby is fed.

OP, some of the best breastfeeding advice I've ever heard is to never stop on a bad day. If you do decide to stop then that is totally your decision, but if you would like to continue then help IS out there.

If a baby is feeding literally constantly (which is different to cluster feeding etc) then the baby may well not be getting enough milk. This is extremely unlikely to be down to you not producing enough milk, however.

If there IS a problem, it is far more likely to be either latch issues, or oxytocin (milk let down) issues. Both of which can be overcome easily with the right support.

I'd be happy to help you OP (I'm a peer supporter), if help to continue is what you want

Feeding constantly at 5 weeks is not normal.
It might be a sign of a tongue tie or another cause of ineffective milk transfer. It could be that she is absolutely exhausted and trying to settle.
But at 5 weeks even though there might be some cluster feeding you could still expect a few decent stretches of 3-4 hours between feeds

Firstly - it is your choice to breastfeed or not. Your DH cannot stop you switching to formula or topping up and you do sound exhausted. How much does he help, with your baby and in other ways?

I do remember the intense cluster feeding at that age - especially early evening. My eldest would drop off feeding, then scream as soon as fully unlatched, my HV advised he wasn't actually feeding the entire time. Carefully swapping my boob for my pinkie had exactly the same effect...unless he really WAS still hungry!

Good luck with whatever you decide, I would second getting advice before making any decision...it does get easier, it really does.

Congrats on your recent arrival:)

A lot of posters on here clearly don't value their partners as also being 50% of the baby and who should also get some say.

Yes he can't make you breastfeed if you don't want to but it is nice to hear a man have a view on it and wanting the best start in life for his child.

Thank you. I respect my husband's opinion as he is her parent as much as I am. However he couldn't give a reason for wanting her to be breast fed. I have attended breast feeding cafe (hit and miss depending on what sort of morning/night I have had). I am trying to be proactive. I think I am just tired and anxious.

He is now telling DD "Mummy said she doesn't like you anymore." I know he's saying it as a joke but am feeling a bit fragile and wishing I hadn't mentioned formula!

lapin that's not true. I barely got an hour or two with my little girl and she doesn't have tongue tie at all. She didn't even have collic or anything like that.