So I am a children's doctor. I also have a husband who works nine until five monday to friday. As a result of doing part time long shifts., I do the bulk of the childcare and the housework. I work 30 hours as part time BTW compared to his 37. I have been in A's situation and I have been properly pissed off. Weekend long days are very busy. I usually manage to have half a cup of water when I'm writing up notes, but often I don't get to wee or eat properly, because just as I'm going to there a crash call to a delivery, then on my way back someone asks me to "just write up some calpol", then someone else says "this kid looks a bit poorly could you check on them", then there's a crash call to a and e"etc etc then you realise it's eight o clock and you are handing over in thirty minutes and you haven't written in for sets of notes or chased any bloods, and you want to get home on time so you do that quickly. At the time you are so busy that you aren't hungry, thirsty or needing a wee. I had to make myself pee before driving home as I almost wet myself in the car on the way home!
Then I would get in to the house I left tidy in a shit state, no home work done, mid been on screens all day, nappies on the floor, washing up in the sink. And he would have cooked pasta and sauce and I was meant to be grateful!
In these situations alot of arguements were had! However, eventually we got into better patterns. He always takes the kids out, and does home work. I batch cook or pick up takeaway and look the other way at the mess.
However, I really feel for A, those days are so rubbish, and whilst you definitely can fit in a drink of water here and there, sometimes it just goes so quickly that you may haven't eaten or gone to the toilet. That'd not being a martyr. That's being extremely busy!