DH doesn't want me using mumsnet anymore.

[PullUpAGlass]

And he might read this since he's said he's going to trawl through the forum to prove that it's a terrible place.

All started last night when I made a joke to DH about LTB. He asked what that meant so I told him. This started an all night argument about how he hates mumsnet, thinks it's dangerous for relationships, thinks it's a forum full of man-hating and stories about blokes with their nobs out, it's a site which is degrading to men and offensive for women to use. He went on to say that it's not normal for women to obsess over a forum where everyone hangs out their dirty laundry and he wouldn't mind if I did the "normal woman thing of complaining to friends over a coffee" but mumsnet is beyond that, he hates it and does not want me using it anymore.

He also declared that mumsnet is "destroying his faith in human kind" and that he thinks he hates women.

I personally think he's being sexist, controlling and constantly gunning for a row.

So AIBU? Sick of the constant arguining (not just over mumsnet but about everything, it's constant, there is always "something")

"He also declared that mumsnet is "destroying his faith in human kind" and that he thinks he hates women"
Don't get me started. The answer to that one is, "you only have to read any newspaper any day of the week and your faith in men is destroyed".
How much violence, sexual abuse, child sex abuse, exploitation of women, abuse of women via religious practice, etc, is perpetrated by men versus women. Nearly all religions have men as leaders and decision makers and relegate women to a lower subservient position. Duerte, the prime minister of the Phillipines just told his army they were free to rape as many people as they liked and he would turn a blind eye and that the courts no longer have jurisdiction there.
How I get by a day not hating men is beyond me. Being on Mumsnet certainly helped me manage my expectations in that regard.

I was told I spent too much time on mumsnet... until I pointed out some legal stuff which a helpful mn'er had given him indirectly.
To me its my leisure time. His leisure time at home is watching crap on tv. I pointed out that it wasn't too different. He hasn't mentioned it since.

I was going to ally but I'd already posted the knobs. Didn't want to be the token penis poster.

surferjet

How do you know this?

He sounds like a deeply unpleasant person, what are you getting out of being with someone like him.

Mumsnet is a very rare space that doesn't pander to the male ego. Men are so used to the world bending round them that it's a bit jarring to find somewhere that works for women.

There are too many women in shit relationships.

I just do, ask HQ on site stuff if you don't believe me.

Facebook has already come into it. When I told him I spend more time on Facebook than mumsnet he said "yes and that's another thing I'm not happy about" - he quickly backtracked with that one though.

I've recently fallen out with my mother (nothing to do with him) and he knows about it. He's offered no support whatsoever and doesn't even engage in conversation when I mention it. I feel alone quite a lot of the time to be honest.

surferjet

No, you're alright.

It's not really for anyone else to police, anyway. If I spend too much time on a hobby that's up to me, providing I am still holding down my job, looking after my kids, doing my fair share of work etc. DH doesn't get to ban me doing what I want with my own time.

Last night when handmaiden was on I told him if he wasn't into it he could go and do something else and he wouldn't. He prefers to sit there with a face on instead
You can't be left alone to relax and do your own thing, oh no he has to monitor you and keep you under the constant pressure of his disapproval

Do you have kids with this person? What exactly are you getting from this relationship given that he offers you no support?

Maybe if he did offer you support you'd not look for it online.

How do you feel about being married to a man who says he hates women? You don't sound at all happy and the existence you are both living right now sounds lonely and grim

You need to ask yourself what the sum your DP brings to your life is and then base further life decisions on that.

Wrt MN, well, I take the same stance with that as I do with abortion or homosexuality or other controversial things: you don't like it, don't do it .

Wrt to wishing to control what online forums you frequent? Provided you are an adult and he is not your parents (and that would be very VERY weird! ), he can skate right on.

In my experience, men who are happy and confident in themselves and how they are conducting themselves in their relationship do not have a problem with MN and other areas of support for women. Shit Head men, deep down know that's exactly what they are but like being that way and so don't want their wives to have support in becoming aware of how badly they're being treated.

RhiWrites

Crikey, it's pretty weird that he watched The Handmaid's Tale and his response was to start curtailing your use of the internet. It's not supposed to be a how-to manual!

THIS^^

Oh and he thinks he hates women because of MN? No he just hates and is suspicious of women and probably has been for a long time.

"Crikey, it's pretty weird that he watched The Handmaid's Tale and his response was to start curtailing your use of the internet. It's not supposed to be a how-to manual"

It's not supposed to be a how-to manual.

Just thought that was worth repeating.

There you go AllMyBestFriends

I remember when it was all green fields around here....

AnarchyKitty cross-post.

He openly said that he thinks he hates women?!

PacificDogwod
Oh my eyes!

reawakeningambition
Definitely needs to be posted a few times.

IME men who take issue with MN, things like The Handmaid's Tale etc are typically weak, feel threatened by women, often want to be controlling to counteract their anxiety and lack of self-esteem and can be pathetic and dangerous in equal measure.

Take v good care of yourself, OP.

You can give him a lovely big LTB from me OP ! Controlling bastard! You deserve better than putting up with his shit

Haven't read the whole thread but i really don't get his issues.
I am not very good socially and use mumsnet as a outlet. My dh actively encourages it and often i read threads to him and have a giggle. He even doesn't mind if i post threads on here moaning at him. As he says everyone needs someone to talk to and get things off there cheast and sometimes getting prospective from someone out of your relationship can help you see things more clearly.
Your dh sounds like he wants control over you and doesn't want anyone to point this out or make you see sense.
I thinks its funny he says he hates women more like he hates women who have voices and the balls to stand up for them selves.