DH doesn't want me using mumsnet anymore.

[PullUpAGlass]

And he might read this since he's said he's going to trawl through the forum to prove that it's a terrible place.

All started last night when I made a joke to DH about LTB. He asked what that meant so I told him. This started an all night argument about how he hates mumsnet, thinks it's dangerous for relationships, thinks it's a forum full of man-hating and stories about blokes with their nobs out, it's a site which is degrading to men and offensive for women to use. He went on to say that it's not normal for women to obsess over a forum where everyone hangs out their dirty laundry and he wouldn't mind if I did the "normal woman thing of complaining to friends over a coffee" but mumsnet is beyond that, he hates it and does not want me using it anymore.

He also declared that mumsnet is "destroying his faith in human kind" and that he thinks he hates women.

I personally think he's being sexist, controlling and constantly gunning for a row.

So AIBU? Sick of the constant arguining (not just over mumsnet but about everything, it's constant, there is always "something")

And yes, I've recounted to DP how a typical thread goes on here - bets on for a LTB within five posts and how people use it humorously as well as seriously and overuse it. He laughed, because he recognises the notion of 'people having a laugh (and some getting overwrought) on the Internet'.

That's because to him women are people. Not 'other'.

I'll put money on your dh reading the daily mail

Sounds like he's spent a fair bit of time on here himself since he knows so much about it.

He hates women. He is controlling and abusive. You will have a miserable life with him.

Anyway, whatever, he can think what he likes. What do you want to do?

Men with their knobs out! There you go OP's DP, and anyone else who wants a supportive, interesting discussion about making men feel good about their penises. Content from Guardian weekend life and style, very non-risque. But plenty of knobs.

I would so check his browser history.

But it's not up to him what you do. You get to decide if you enjoy being on Mumsnet and if you do then crack on.

I personally think convos on MN can be quite biased against men, and I've seen open sexism towards men which I find appalling. It doesn't mean I'm going to become brainwashed against my DH. Your DH sounds very insecure and maybe he needs to seek help for that rather than trying to limit your use of the internet and phone, which is just controlling behaviour.

AIBU IS a fairly horrible place though, I'm with him there. I cried over some of the responses I got a couple of years ago. People were VILE.

I have no interest in going out and meeting new people. I've always been a loner and I want to stay that way, why should I change who I am? He he didn't like who I was he shouldn't have married me.

What do you mean he made you put a thread on AIBU? I think maybe he knows he's controlling and a complete asshole and doesn't want you to keep reading these threads in fear that one day you'll figure it out for yourself and LTB. Btw you should defo LTB

He's gone way OTT. But he has a point.
Some women spend far too much time on here, & probably are ignoring their partners as a result.

If he doesn't use Internet forums then it does seem a bit pathetic to see your partner so invested in the opinions of randoms.

TBH it sounds as though you might have deeper problems

Sorry to digress, but "Terry Wogan's knob"? What's that about then?

OP, my DH complains about 'Bumsnet', as he calls it. Whenever I trot out an opinion or a piece of wisdom, he always says: "did you read that on Bumsnet"? I tell him to fuck off. I love it here, I, like you, have no real friends IRL. If I had to choose between DH and Mumsnet, I would probably choose Mumsnet . But then my DH is not a controlling arse, so it wouldn't come to that.

I think you need MN now more than ever.

He sounds horrible. Controlling, selfish & not at all interested in you as a person.

...I'm not joking when I say I'd LTB. Who the hell does he think he is dictating what web sites you can & can't use & talking to you like that?

He also declared that mumsnet is "destroying his faith in human kind" and that he thinks he hates women

if Mumsnet is destroying his faith in human kind, he has no sense of proportion and is easily influenced.

Or he's looking for an excuse to stop you reading it. Which is not his place to do.

But doesn't he watch the news? Wars, bombings, preventable famines? Didn't he notice Trump getting elected? Now there's somethign to make you lose faith in human nature.

I've seen some of the sexism towards men on here and I don't agree with it. I'm not stupid or gullible, I'm not going to brainwashed into thinking all men and shit because of a forum and yes, AIBU can be harsh to people but still - it's still my decision as to whether to read it or not! Half the time I'm only here to read the funny posts anyway!

Years ago I got a lot of support from the kid and student parents sections. I don't tend to go on them bits now but my point is there is so much more to mumsnet than "my husband ate my last rolo, should I LTB?"

My ex was the same and when he left me he found a post from me asking for help I was devastated. He set up a profile and posted on it all the reasons for leaving me as I was such a terrible person. Everyone had pointed out they thought he was having an affair which he denied. Turns out he was. Fucker.

Do you sit on your arse all day reading it? If so then he is not BU

IF you fit it in to your daily life without it getting in the way, then he is BU

I think it's about control and insecurity.

My ex was the same. He was caught on adult hookup sites and when I posted about this, having kicked him out, I received so much support and saw him through others eyes.

I emailed him the thread. Of course all the people who posted advice and support were "a bunch of dried up old man hating bitches with nothing better to do than mind other people's business"

His advice was maybe they ought to go and get a shag.

The irony although lost on him, was delicious.

It took a while but he's gone, im finalising the divorce, and if I could, I'd travel over and hug everyone if those man hating bitches for the support and care they gave me, while I was a thousand miles from home, with a young son, trying to work out my headfuck of a relationship.

thank you bitches

Quite interesting that this row kicked off during the Handmaid's Tale, isn't it? He was watching an hour of feminism, got uncomfortable, so his next move was to try to restrict your access to a huge community of women (not all of whom are feminist by any manner of means, but maybe DH doesn't know that).

Why do you think he feels so threatened by women's voices?

OP, I could come up with all sorts of cutting remarks and acerbic comments, but it would all be to make the same one point: you need to leave this loser yesterday. The kind of dickless wonder who is threatened by the idea of women having their own opinions in their own space is not a keeper.

Obviously he will use this post, and others, and the dumping I hope you will give him, as proof that he is right about Mumsnet, but honestly who gives a shit. He's a hateful idiot, who cares what he thinks.

He's even explicitly told you that he hates women, what more do you need?

Just get out and get rid.

He wants to control you and he sounds like a complete pain in the arse.
I wouldn't even engage with him, don't try and defend or justify what you read, watch etc, just do it
You don't require his approval or consent

surferjet

I'm not sure it's different to watching the football or F1: it is downtime, relaxation. What is 'too much time' anyway?

LTB