DH doesn't want me using mumsnet anymore.

[PullUpAGlass]

And he might read this since he's said he's going to trawl through the forum to prove that it's a terrible place.

All started last night when I made a joke to DH about LTB. He asked what that meant so I told him. This started an all night argument about how he hates mumsnet, thinks it's dangerous for relationships, thinks it's a forum full of man-hating and stories about blokes with their nobs out, it's a site which is degrading to men and offensive for women to use. He went on to say that it's not normal for women to obsess over a forum where everyone hangs out their dirty laundry and he wouldn't mind if I did the "normal woman thing of complaining to friends over a coffee" but mumsnet is beyond that, he hates it and does not want me using it anymore.

He also declared that mumsnet is "destroying his faith in human kind" and that he thinks he hates women.

I personally think he's being sexist, controlling and constantly gunning for a row.

So AIBU? Sick of the constant arguining (not just over mumsnet but about everything, it's constant, there is always "something")

God he sounds a delight

There is so much good on Mumsnet. Mumsnet got me through a complicated pregnancy, understanding how breastfeeding and childbirth worked, tips to make both easier, ways to cope with baby sleep, parenting tips, AND gives me ideas for food and skincare stuff.

AIBU, relationships and cries of LTB are only one or two sections of Mumsnet.

I don't ignore him to use mumsnet, r usual routine is aftervwork one of us uses computer for a bit, we have tea and then we sit and watch tv. Half the time he's sat playing games on his phone and I'm on Facebook. I've told him I want to go out in the evenings, take the dog out together, have a walk to the pub but no - he just wants to sit watching TV all night. And if I'm not into what he's watching, what am i meant to do?

Last night when handmaiden was on I told him if he wasn't into it he could go and do something else and he wouldn't. He prefers to sit there with a face on instead.

Blimey, OP.

My DH knows that I regularly use mn for marriage guidance [guidance].

I post my problem/concern/grievance then sit back & go through the replies with DH to see who's right. It's invaluable.

Got one such thread on the go as I type - & it has really helped us sort out a major source of worry & stress for me.

He sounds controlling, OP

As soon as I read your thread title I thought "Yeah, I bet he does."

He just wants to distance you from any support you might have to deal with what sounds like a fairly unhappy marriage. If he hates women he can fuck off surely?

Oh, and I don't think there are nearly enough stories about mens knobs on MN.

He sounds horrid. Does he have any redeeming features?

Crikey, it's pretty weird that he watched The Handmaid's Tale and his response was to start curtailing your use of the internet. It's not supposed to be a how-to manual!

"Mumsnet is an awful time sink. Maybe he's just had enough of you being on it a lot and wants you to meet some RL people."

But that's not at all what the OP's partner said. My dh rightly thinks I waste too much time on here, but he doesn't tell me it's full of relationship-destroying man-haters. He says, "You said you'd help me with my tax return today and you've been wasting time on MN all afternoon instead of sorting the paperwork." Which is a fair comment.

I don't sit on mumsnet all day, chance would be a fine thing 😁 I work 30 hours a week. When I'm not at work I spend a lot of time on Facebook or instagram. Mumsnet takes only a small amount of my time.

I signed up for the Times online recently (to read Jenni Murray's article about transg people she had interviewed) but I'm going to leave it because there is so much more interesting stuff here. I've just read the thread about how other EU countries provide healthcare- so interesting and so many views- much better than one journos take on stuff.
Then there's all the other stuff. . . .
Direct him to Reddit you both browse together.

does he not believe you are intelligent enough to read any threads or responses to your threads and then use them to make up your own opinion on things ? I agree that mumsnet can be quite divisive in its opinions but no one forces the users/readers to do things.
I think you both know things are far from right and maybe the mumsnet issue is a symptoms of underlying unhappiness.

It sounds like you would like a different kind of relationship , and i do not believe that is being driven by stuff you are reading on mumsnet.

I dont have any words or wisdon OP but suggest you read what you have written about your relationship and imagine what you would say if someone else had written that on mumsnet ....

This is my advice. If you suggest a walk and taking the dog out or whatever, and he doesn't want to, do it anyway. Go and enjoy your life. If you don't do the thing, he has influenced you and you will have a duller life as a result. If he was offering you a better alternative - great but he's not is he? Sitting in with him with a grid like an eel trap is not a great alternative. Paddle your own canoe.

If he hates women why did he marry one?

Bless, he sounds really scared of us! What an immature little response - "I don't understand it, I'm scared of it, waah you must stop tiny woman no relationship with other women for you they might have IDEAS".

Mind you I hate my husband using reddit - he only reads the warhammer and aw threads - but that's specifically because they don't have robust enough policies against hate speech and misogyny and treat their female execs appallingly - but I'd never make a thing of it. I've pointed out my issues but I wouldn't ask him to stop looking at pictures of bunnies because I don't like the cut of reddit's jib.

(ALSO OMG HOW GOOD WAS HANDMAID???)

Surprised he hasn't complained about Facebook yet. I give it three weeks or whenever he manages to get you off Mumsnet, whichever comes first. And then it'll be your friends, and then your family...

He's told you he hates women. You're a woman. Take the warning.

Get this moved to the 30 days only board so this disappears after a month.

Name change so it's harder to find you & post your personal problems on the 30 days only board so he can't trace you.

Look up the term coersive control, that's what your husband is trying to do.

Women talk to other women
Women have opinoins

And he has an issue with it? What a man child.

Then he wants control over how you watch TV. It sounds to me like he's looking to start a fight so that you'll have enough and end to with him. It's the cowardly push somebody into breaking up the relationship ploy.

I very rarely use LTB but that's all I can think here.

Ridiculous, me and my missus both use the site. I've not seen any dick pics or man hating going on. Just real issues with people trying to support each other. He's being a knobber.

He sounds like a knob.

There is occasionally sexism here but it never goes unchallenged.

Mine does not like some of the terms I have picked up here but that's his problem.

On that score, what is the difference between a wankbadger and a cockwomble? Inquiring minds want to know.

He sounds massively controlling looking for anything to affirm and legitimise his hatred of women.

I agree with pps, sounds like you need mn now more than ever

I see what you're saying ciliated but I didn't get married to sit in the pub on my own. I do take the dog out alone though. Was going to join a gym but he's not happy with the cost of it.

We were both big drinkers on a weekend (in house) and I've cut right back. I used to sit sipping beer all night, go to bed drunk and wake up at 3am feeling like death. I've now cut down and limit myself to half a bottle on wine. He hasn't cut down however, last night he drank 3 cans of lager and half a bottle of wine. This is when he's at his most argumentative. See I could say I don't want him drinking so much anymore but he'd tell me to spin as he's an adult - fair enough but it works both ways doesn't it.

Once a year we go to an event where he smokes cannabis and take Es - last year he was doing small amounts of Coke. I've asked him to stop doing that but all I get is "it's once a year - that's not comparable to the hours you spend on mumsnet" and maybe it isn't but it's all relative isn't it. He's unwilling to stop the things I'm uncomfortable with yet he thinks he's perfectly justified in telling me to stop using an Internet forum!

I would have though Handmaid was right up his street - women as possessions not being allowed their own opinions etc....

Trifleorbust
People have to contact HQ to temporarily ban them their addiction to this site has become so bad, so yes, there are women on MN who need to really question how much time they spend on here.

TWC was mentioned and there wasn't a picture put up within 10 posts?

This place is going to the dogs.