Neighbours kid!

[MissBax]

Right, I've just stormed downstairs to the flat below ours and screamed at them after 3 years of them being a total nightmare culminating in one foul-mouthed fury!
They have two children (son 5 and daughter 7).
They have NO routine - the children seem to be allowed to run riot in the flat no matter what time it is - 6am or 1am! They never seem to take the children out, when the sun is shining they shove them on the balcony where the kids then scream and shout constantly (i don't mean general children playing noise by the way - I mean FULL ON screeching and screaming). They don't discipline the son AT ALL - I've watched him throw food all over the communal areas of the building whilst the mum simply walks on. Or when he is screaming she just quietly goes "shh shh" to which he just yells and screeches over.
The mum takes them out at about 9pm at night and returns at 1am - just now they arrived home, kids shouting and screaming in the communal stairway for everyone to hear. They then slam doors downstairs, shouting and screaming commences. It has been like this for 3 YEARS!!!
We have spoken to their landlord - says he doesn't have any reason to take matters further which is fair enough (i suppose).
In the first year I actually befriended the mum and felt very sorry for her - she is clearly struggling to discipline and parent her own children. Dad seems useless by all accounts. I tried asking politely that they keep their windows and doors shut if the kids are screaming as their windows are only a matter of feet from ours and the sound travels so easily. They said they would. They don't!!
It's been so warm that I have to sleep with windows open but they are so loud it just wakes us up.
My OH went down around a year ago and had a more stern word about how it wasn't acceptable anymore and something has to change - we then had a visit from their Health Visitor stating that they'd complained that WE were harassing THEM!!! We were gobsmacked and explained that we actually have concerns that they aren't managing very well and that we constantly hear screaming and banging from the flat. -Just to give some context - we never hear anything from any other flat above us or to either side-
The HV seemed to understand and asked us to call if we have any other worries, which I have done a couple of time over the last 6 months - she doesn't put seatbelts on her kids when in the car for example, amongst other things.
Anyway - they came home tonight banging and screaming away at 1am as always and I just saw red. I went down and made it clear that I was at breaking point and that they were making my life hell. And low ad behold - not a peep out of them now - so they CAN shut the kids up when needed. So why don't they do this anyway when it's 1am and people around them are sleeping?!?!
I guess I was going to ask AIBU but after reading it back I don't think I am.
What I would like to ask though is what the hell can I do?? I don't think the children are being abused so can't exactly contact SS, the HV can't do a great deal either and they aren't breaking any laws (are they?!)
Moving isn't an option for us for another 18 months - 2years. But I can't live like this anymore?!?!

lots of Muslims don't have much in the way of toys and children's stuff in the house as they don't seem to see the importance of it

Well that's the ignorant view.
An informed view would be that some tend not to focus too much on dolls/teddies etc due to religious reasons....this doesn't affect other toys.

However, in general most muslims don't have an issue with it. Growing up in a muslim family and community, it was only ever the odd family or two that were strict in that respect.

Operation used to be my favourite game - and Hungry Hippos!

Couldntmakethis, not an ignorant view just not in my experience. Not just dolls and teddies, no toys of any sort. Even when these are used by family support assistants they are put away in the home when the session ends and not brought out again until the session the next week.

Rachy - how weird that you're then asked why you've complained!! That's what i don't understand. It's one thing being that noisey, but to not even acknowledge or recognise how detrimental it can be to neighbours is just baffling!!

I've just received this email from the NSPCC -

^Thank you for the online reporting form, which we received today, on 29/05/17.
The information you have provided is concerning and will be shared with Children’s Services so that they can look into the situation and take the appropriate action.
As agreed on the form, your details will be shared with Children’s Services and they may contact you directly to discuss the concerns. A request will be made that your details are kept confidential and not shared with the referred family.
Please be aware that if you have further concerns or require advice, you can contact the 24 hour NSPCC helpline either on the Freephone number 0808 800 5000, by email at [email protected] or through the online reporting form on the website: www.nspcc.org.uk. If you share additional concerns, we can update Children’s Services.
Please contact the police if you ever have immediate concerns for a child/children. Please call 999 in an emergency and 101 in a non-emergency. The police can then attend and check on the safety and wellbeing of the child/children.
Kind regards^

It seems that they think what I've said sounds concerning too.

I've missed what's happened but I'm sorry fanjo as it appears to be an attack on you.
I, like the OP mis interpreted the tone of your posts and apologised and like the OP don't think you should leave the thread. People can have different opinions and express them. Please don't feel the need to go and to NC

thereal i could say my neighbour is harassing me, doesn't make it true
The hv clearly doesn't agree with you either! Have you actually read the whole thread, or have you just decided to make a load of nasty goady posts?

Night

Night Fanjo. I also feel very uncomfortable with the anti Muslim stereotypes expressed in this thread. People from all different cultures parent differently to the British norms regardless of their religion.

also feel very uncomfortable with the anti Muslim stereotypes expressed in this thread. People from all different cultures parent differently to the British norms regardless of their religion.
This.

Sorry op but that email just looks like a generic reply to me. My guess if they've passed it on to the appropriate services and that's that.

I can't imagine a generic email would state that it "does sound concerning". What if id written a load of nonsense - you think they'd still reply with that?
I could be wrong.

Your welcome Fanjo I admired the way you expressed yourself and you certainly didn't deserve to be insulted.

I want to explain I am not anti Muslim at all. I hadn't even said Muslim initially just talked of cultural differences. I have also said 'in my experience' which is very real and true. I am not making sweeping generalisations, in fact I was trying to show that culturally this family may have different expectations, times, routines, toys, play that might explain some of the behaviours. They may not see this as wrong. I have had to challenge parents over leaving their children at home alone whilst they went to work in the family business. They didn't think that this was wrong.
I also know that professionals may be accepting of the different expectations and not challenge for fear of being suspected of racism.
I work really closely with an Asian community. It is what I see, day in day out. It is the effect of family life and cultural expectation that lowers aspiration and achievement.
This doesn't make it ok for children to suffer an inequality. Children still need to be safe. We would address this in a similar 'white or Christian' community and expect agencies to take action. We would discuss on here without being accused of being 'anti Christian' or anti 'white'.

I totally agree with the above. I studied sociology a few years ago as part of my degree and touched on this and I've seen it increase further more and that is my belief we are now too PC.

Nobody dares challenge something they think is detrimental to the well being of another for fear of being accused of being racist, homophobic, sexist, disablist - Christ - people are almost fearful of asking if someone's a man or woman nowadays!

Whatever the culture or possible reasons or motivations for this behaviour it does not change the facts - and that is the safety and well being of these children appears from the outside to be compromised.

That is what needs addressing.

Yes of course I agree children should be protected from neglect and harm but this is can happen in ANY culture or religion. There has been specific prejudices towards Muslim parenting on this thread which may be present in some families (like any other religion) but my no means the majority.

I have already said that I agree with the OP reporting her concerns because children should always be protected. I just don't agree with the massive generalisations that Muslims don't give their children toys and are more neglectful. This can happen in ANY culture r religion and as you say should always be addressed. I would have reported these neighbours.