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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be ever so slightly annoyed that another Mum has washed my baby's bear? ?

271 replies

drivinmecrazy · 27/05/2017 01:30

As I was putting my DD2 (11yo) to bed this evening I passed her 'Puddin', her beloved bear.
As I did so I put him to my face to inhale him as I have done many many times (sounds strange but it's because he always smells of her and is a warm and familiar object which connects me to her since she was a baby)
But this evening as I 'sniffed ' him he smelt different, very unfamiliar.
Yesterday evening DD2 was at a friends house for a sleepover as they had an inset day today so I strongly suspect that Puddin has been washed.
Now I have no objection to the teddy being washed, but he now smells horrid and unfamiliar.
DD is being very cagey about if he was washed or not, I think to spare my feelings.
But I would never wash someone else's Bed Ted without prior arrangement.
Sounds very OTT but I'm a little put out and annoyed. He had only been washed a week ago so was not dirty. Yet now he reeks (because she has obviously used a very strongly scented detergent ) of an unfamiliar smell.
AIBU to be annoyed, because I really am feeling cross!!!

OP posts:
Writermom22 · 28/05/2017 18:48

You have got to be kidding me.

Just shove it in your own washer for crying out load.

TabascoToastie · 28/05/2017 18:48

We don't do chemicals in our house

Unless you live entirely in a matrix comprised of pure energy, I can assure you that you do.

becotide · 28/05/2017 18:48

My kids are 11 and 14, and both could wipe their own arses by the time they started school school. That would be PRIMARY school, btw.

Every single 8 year old in mainstream provision that I have ever met does not require help in the bathroom short of reminding to wash hands and flush toilet.

I also know that inappropriate bathroom help is a red flag for child sexual abuse, as an 8 year old child certainly does not NEED to be helped, an adult shouldn't WANT to help - so why is there an adult touching an eight year old's bottom?

jannier · 28/05/2017 18:51

BusterGonad Sat 27-May-17 12:37:49

"
I put my 8 year old to bed, and he still needs help wiping his bottom! Some kids grow up quickly, some need more time, some still want their mum and dad to help and support them with things. Every child is different, I'll help my son with these things until he's confident and secure enough to do them on his own, that time will defiantly come and I'll be here until it does."

Is this serious? Does he have a disability or just seriously lazy? God help him if he goes on a school residential or gets the need to go at school for any reason let alone staying at a friends. Children wont grow up until you let them this is something schools moan about when the children start reception year. What would he do if you got taken into hospital for a few days?

LorLorr2 · 28/05/2017 18:59

I can very much understand, OP. The bear means a lot to you and now the familiar comforting smell has gone, I can see why that would bother you especially as somebody else did the deed. Grin

It's really odd that the mum washed it, I agree with PP that it sounds like something got knocked or spilled and your daughter is afraid to tell you. Hopefully that makes it easier, as well as the fact it was done with good intentions. At least you do still have the bear! He'll probably eventually smell familiar to you again and you won't care at all about this blip any more. Smile

AceholeRimmer · 28/05/2017 18:59

You're totally overreacting... either wash in your own stuff or give it a few weeks to get her smell back on. The woman would only have done it out of kindness and probably didn't even think to mention it.
I do think its nice you put her to bed though, if its just a cuddle and chat and not the full tucking in with nursery rhymes. She'll grow out of it in her own time.

EddieHitler · 28/05/2017 19:05

I think YABU to be cross about it. Just wash it at home so it smells the way you like it again.

Lemonnaise · 28/05/2017 19:10

YABU. You said you washed it yourself last week, so just wash it again to get rid of whatever smell you're offended by.

Leanin15yearsmaybe · 28/05/2017 19:16

Erm...I still put my 10yr old ds 'to bed' why do people think that is weird?? What is wrong with a kiss goodnight and a hug and turning his phone off lights out? Seriously I will do this until he tells me to 'do one'!! (Which I hope is his mid thirties!!)

fullofhope03 · 28/05/2017 19:19

Hope you're not still breast feeding your little 11yo too OP

MaQueen · 28/05/2017 19:22

I still often perch on their beds for a chat while our DDs are getting ready for bed. It's the time when I tend to find out about their day, and what's on their minds.

I still give them a kiss and a quick cuddle too. They're 14 & 13 and really don't see to mind. DD1 is still very cuddly with me and DH, DD2 not quite so much - but she politely endures it Grin

fullofhope03 · 28/05/2017 19:22

That was a joke btw :-)
Seriously though, I do think you are being a tad OTT about the scent of the toy - as others have said, it will return to normal soon enough and the mum who washed it wouldn't have done so for no reason.
Just relaaax xx

Carriecakes80 · 28/05/2017 19:25

Your daughter is worried about how you will react to her teddy bear being washed??? Truly?? Thats a shame.

My DD'S 1 & 2 have loads of toys, and they both have a special bear, however, at the risk of sounding odd, I breathe in the scent of my kids, rather than the scent of their toys, because I never know where my kids hands have been, and they drag their toys everywhere!!! Yuck! lol

No Mum is going have washed this toy for any other reason than to be nice! Cuddle your kids and breathe in their smell! :-)

lobsterface · 28/05/2017 19:41

Oh get a life

nina2b · 28/05/2017 19:45

Is this all you have to complain about?

daffodil10 · 28/05/2017 19:46

User - yes I am

MsJudgemental · 28/05/2017 19:49

Your 11-year-old has a teddy bear???

Crunchymum · 28/05/2017 19:51

Why did you send your 11yo to a sleepover with a teddy bear?

user1495025590 · 28/05/2017 19:53

You need to let your 11 yo grow op!

elevenclips · 28/05/2017 19:57

Some of this stuff is a bit mean. I've received an 11yo to a sleepover with a teddy. Fine.

I would not wash someone's teddy even if it got dirty. What if it got wrecked in the wash?! I'd just tell the parent it got dirty and it would be up to them to do as they see fit.

Lastly op if you value something so highly, whatever it may be, you don't send it on a sleepover!

PeaFaceMcgee · 28/05/2017 20:00

Your girl or her friend probably sprayed some perfume on it. No probs, it's not your bear.

user1490375610 · 28/05/2017 20:17

Tbh sounds like you're more bothered than DD

EastMidsGPs · 28/05/2017 20:24

Thank the Lord Puddin didn't disintegrate during his unsanctioned wash and spin.

Triskaidekaphilia · 28/05/2017 20:31

Somehow I read the title as 'another mum washed my baby's feet' Confused Grin

RestlessTraveller · 28/05/2017 20:52

user1483226045 do you use water in your house?