AIBU to be ever so slightly annoyed that another Mum has washed my baby's bear? ?

[drivinmecrazy]

As I was putting my DD2 (11yo) to bed this evening I passed her 'Puddin', her beloved bear.
As I did so I put him to my face to inhale him as I have done many many times (sounds strange but it's because he always smells of her and is a warm and familiar object which connects me to her since she was a baby)
But this evening as I 'sniffed ' him he smelt different, very unfamiliar.
Yesterday evening DD2 was at a friends house for a sleepover as they had an inset day today so I strongly suspect that Puddin has been washed.
Now I have no objection to the teddy being washed, but he now smells horrid and unfamiliar.
DD is being very cagey about if he was washed or not, I think to spare my feelings.
But I would never wash someone else's Bed Ted without prior arrangement.
Sounds very OTT but I'm a little put out and annoyed. He had only been washed a week ago so was not dirty. Yet now he reeks (because she has obviously used a very strongly scented detergent ) of an unfamiliar smell.
AIBU to be annoyed, because I really am feeling cross!!!

Awesome. I just love hearing how other people have the energy to invest in trivia.

Bomb and dead children and teens in Manchester, loony president in the US, people still dying in the Middle East, and you're worried about a washed bear? Need to get some perspective.

Actually it would annoy me, if I'd had to wash anything of anyone's I would tell parents.
Basically suggests didn't want your grotty bear on my sheets otherwise

Seems incredibly self indulgent to give this any headspace. Was the person being malicious - most probably not - she was most likely trying to be kind. Use your energy for more positive stuff and good luck.

Actually it would annoy me, if I'd had to wash anything of anyone's I would tell parents.

If I got a phone call from a parent hosting my 11 year old asking permission to wash my dd's bear, I'd presume she was batshit or pretty heavily into the gin.

So it either stank or it got washed by accident

This, OP is something you truly have the personal strength and resources to cope with.

Did the dog hump it?
Cat sprayed on it?

Just rewash it!

Why don't you just wash him again in your own detergent, just like you did a week ago?

Yanbu my DD has her bedtime toy and his smell is the most important thing to her - she hates it if he even picks up the smell of strange washing powder from other people's sheets! She can pick her clothes out at school just by the smell and I use the least smelly stuff I can as smells give me migraines - washing her toy in one of those really smelly washing powders would be bad news for both of us.

WIPING THE BOTTOM OF AN 8 year old?!!?!!?

Wiping and 8yr olds bum? 😮

This is mums net. Nothing to do with terrorism. Unreasonable remark. Get off here

I was sent to boarding school when I was 11 and would have been mercilessly bullied if anyone thought I had a teddy bear.

The fact your daughter is worried about telling you the bears been washed say it all really

I'd be really pissed off. We don't do chemicals in our house and I can't bare the smell. Just wash it again and politely mention you noticed she'd washed it in her chemical detergent and thank you. But pls don't do it again. 😡

Fluffy unicorns. Why would it be bad news?it may need a night to get the smell again but it in the real world this is not bad news. I can't believe how self indulgent this is

Dagenham Roundhouse. Don't comment if you can't relate. Millions of children die every year from starvation too. The relevance is? Stupid comment.

user60million, as if anyone would mention it in real life, but props for the toff-bashing.

Daffodil10 you a parent?

OMG somebody seems to have grown up and didn't want mum to know I expect they felt very embarrassed at having mums bed time ritual follow them to a friends house. You did say 11not 11 months didn't you? I'm sure she didn't want to be laughed at. Its a parents job to encourage a child to move on not hold them back and at 11 putting to bed for most would be an ill be up in 10 minutes to turn the light out not to cuddle your bear.

OP - Bed Ted normally smells of your laundry products with some added fragrance of DD. He doesn't smell of her as a baby.
If you need to inhale each night try either the laundry products or a quick sniff of DD's neck and hair, if she still lets you, she won't for ever!
I agree with PPs who think Bed Ted met up with either a spilled drink or body fluids and the other mum did you, or DD, a favour.
Pass the popcorn!

YANBU - call the police immediately. This is an OUTRAGE!

Anyone else envious that someone has so much time on their hands, and so much mental energy to stress over a washed teddy???

I'm doubtful I could even half raise an eyebrow in mild consternation...

But, seriously OP it sounds to me lie you're deliberately infantalising your DD for your benefit, not hers. The fact she felt the need to be cagey over what happened to her teddy, just shows she knows you are massively over invested in keeping her childlike (I do not agree, at all, that an 11 year old is 'a little girl' and I think it very telling that you do).

You need to detach slightly from your DD, as I suspect you are already a source of uncomfortable embarrassment to her. Out of interest, did she willingly pack her teddy to take, or did you insist she take it?