AIBU to be ever so slightly annoyed that another Mum has washed my baby's bear? ?

[drivinmecrazy]

As I was putting my DD2 (11yo) to bed this evening I passed her 'Puddin', her beloved bear.
As I did so I put him to my face to inhale him as I have done many many times (sounds strange but it's because he always smells of her and is a warm and familiar object which connects me to her since she was a baby)
But this evening as I 'sniffed ' him he smelt different, very unfamiliar.
Yesterday evening DD2 was at a friends house for a sleepover as they had an inset day today so I strongly suspect that Puddin has been washed.
Now I have no objection to the teddy being washed, but he now smells horrid and unfamiliar.
DD is being very cagey about if he was washed or not, I think to spare my feelings.
But I would never wash someone else's Bed Ted without prior arrangement.
Sounds very OTT but I'm a little put out and annoyed. He had only been washed a week ago so was not dirty. Yet now he reeks (because she has obviously used a very strongly scented detergent ) of an unfamiliar smell.
AIBU to be annoyed, because I really am feeling cross!!!

You know when you read things too fast....I thought DD was 1. Then I got to "inset day"

Then I began to be really concerned about a DD with a mum like this. Are you okay, op, I mean that genuinely. You sound like something else is upsetting you.

Like other posters have suggested - I think this is an issue which clearly goes beyond "bear gate".

You refer to your child as "my baby", which, I suppose a lot of parents do about their youngest, but, given her age (she'll be an adolescent soon) and the fact you've said it publicly on a forum with no hint of irony (unless it was click-bait) seems rather odd.

I wonder if the issue here is that your DC's are growing up and you feel ever so slightly out of control about it and need to be in control of some aspect of their lives, however trivial? I am not judging you for this, I unfortunately haven't any children and imagine it would be hard to "let go".

It speaks volumes that your daughter knew that this would upset you, which means this is not an isolated incident.

It might be a good idea to speak to someone about your feelings about your daughter growing up if you are having such a hard time with it.

I think if it was just about the teddy smelling different you would have been annoyed for five minutes, chucked it in the wash and within a week it would be the same.

Your daughter will be a teen soon and if she's already trying to shield you or pre-empt your emotions about something so trivial, I think she's going to find growing up very difficult when she needs to come to you with something far more serious.

None of the above meant with malice.

My grandad had an outside loo so he had a pot to piss in at night. One morning I was talking to him in his bedroom and throwing a mini ted about in a silly way, oh you can guess the rest.

maybe your dd's friend has a grandad who lives with them........

Your poor daughter can't tell the truth about whether a soft toy was washed because of your feelings

If true, this is bizarre and you really need to think about the way you're acting.

My favourite line from Ginger - no longer smells of lavender and innocence.

I actually did laugh out loud at that.

It was the "innocence" that did it...

'My baby's bear' about an 11 YEAR old child 'Bed ted' Huge angst and anger because someone washed a bloody teddy bear that had been washed the previous week Seriously OP, none of that is normal. You couldn't be more U (or weird) if you tried. I feel sorry for your DD who feels like she has to try to spare your feelings about something so bizarre and monumentally unimportant.

Christ your poor dd !

I don't imagine OP will be back.

Not normal? Weird? Fucking hell, the only thing wrong with the OP is that she thought to post on here.

She was 'slightly annoyed' and now deemed to need psychiatric help? FFS.

It's pure sentimentality. That's all. You lot need to pipe down, you're taking this way too seriously.

I honestly thought you were talking about a 3 year old. You sound deeply unhinged. If you're real that is.

In what has been a terrible week for families and friends in Manchester I can't believe that this is really a concern even a small one. First world problems. I'm don't really care if the op being told she is delusional is hurting her feelings. She needs to get a grip and grow a pair.

Fox - yup op is now 'unhinged' . Good lord key board warriors everywhere. People put daft stuff on here , those petty niggling grievances that aren't really appropriate for real world discussion. That doesn't mean They don't warrant a psychiatrist referral , pipe down you horrible lot!

Daffodil-really? Op posts on an Internet forum equals she has no empathy or regard for real world issues? There's something horrific each day that happens and affects people. This is an international board, not everyone will be as affected by the Manchester tradgedy in much the way we are not as directly affect as those in other regions. Lots of nasty assumptions and judging here based on very little.

Bettyspants. So really the correct response when people put irrelevant crap on here should be that no one Comments. If you are going to put rubbish on you surely have to expect an honest response. What would you like people to say "honestly it's fine what your doing ring the mum I'm sure she won't mind you asking!! "

No daffodil, the ganging up and directly telling the op she is 'delusional,' ' needs a psychiatrist', has no understanding of world events (which you've stated) , is 'deeply unhinged' etcetc . We can all have a laugh and a joke but the behaviour of adults on here is pretty vile. I wonder if you would directly insult the op face to face? I suspect not.

OP putting your 11yr old DD to bed and her being your baby is all fine imo. I will put my DD to bed as long as she wants me to & she will always be my baby because it's as much a term of endearment as anything else! I think however if your DD had come home with ted bagged up covered in something grim minging and it hadn't been washed and was a stained mess, then that would have been worse. Just rewash if you feel you need to but do make light of it with your DD so she doesn't feel like it was a big thing. Keep up the bedtime cuddles though!

I would certainly tell her to get a grip to her face and that there are bigger things in the world to worry about than a teddy

Just wash him again, then he'll smell of your laundry detergent.

Why would it be weird to wash a toy? Clearly it had got dirty or something. I'd be more put out if a stuffed animal came home covered in chocolate or something, wouldn't you?

I don't have kids so can't really relate, but my husbellend totally gets this, he says YANBU.

An 11 year old took a teddy to a sleep over?
Did they do a year 6 residential this year? Did she take him there too? I can imagine the poor thing being teased for that.

why not just say so why would she? This is a non issue

Thanks, @HeyHoThereYouGo657.
When I was a kid special-Ted was in a sorry condition. Certainly never washed!! I wasn't allowed to touch him. So glad I got him restored. Probably a bog-standard nothing-special sort of bear sold in an ordinary drugstore at the time when stuffed toys were still a huge novelty.

Fucks sake it's mumsnet it's foundations are firmly built on 'irrational crap'. It exists for this very reason.

After this week's events we should all be putting our children to bed no matter how old! Just because we fucking CAN.

Well said Fox, kiss and a hug goodnight is a really precious time of the day for us

I put my 8 year old to bed, and he still needs help wiping his bottom! Some kids grow up quickly, some need more time, some still want their mum and dad to help and support them with things. Every child is different, I'll help my son with these things until he's confident and secure enough to do them on his own, that time will defiantly come and I'll be here until it does.

Thankfully some nice empathetic people remain who understand the trivialities of mumsnet and aibu ! Tell each other to 'get a grip' by all means but insults and constant put downs are a reflection of a pretty shitty character